It's My Genre, Baby.

Review: How Miss Rutherford Got Her Groove Back by Sophia Barnes

2012-02-09T00:12:00.000-05:00

This cover suggests Boxing Helena to me. Miss Rutherford is presented as a headless torso in an open position. It feels somewhat soulless, which brings me to the title. A genre that is aggressively Caucasian mimicking a very popular contemporary African American title is problematic. Add in that How Stella Got Her Groove Back was a thinly disguised tip to the author's own (now failed) marriage and certain problems in Barnes' book are thrown into even sharper relief. Emily is a complete Mary Sue, and a manic one at that.

When we first meet Emily she could put Snow White to shame. Living in a cottage with her sisters after being disinherited by her evil step-relative, she whistles while she works. Scrubbing floors and living for the one day a year she is invited to the ball, Emily dreams of marrying her neighbor, her childhood sweetheart, her savior. When this fails to pass, she becomes suicidal. (She is fond of saying things like she should have been "left to die".) It is not that Emily breaks as much as she dents. Her suicidal depression leaves as quickly as it arrives. Emily walks through a series of cliches that range from the allowable to the completely infuriating while those around her hold her hand and weep over her noble purity of feeling. Those who bruise the tender fruit of Emily's soul are heartless creatures, while Emily herself is excused of all responsibility.

Given that the side characters are so thinly drawn it hardly matters that their emotions are barely noted. At one point Emily is put in possession of an elderly chaperone who immediately goes to her room and fails to appear until close to the end of the book. (Much like the eldest Martin child in the American serial All My Children, who walked upstairs in the 1970's and was never seen again.) Gone and forgotten, when she is mentioned again I had to flip back to recall who they were discussing. Further removing the reader from an ability to sympathize is the author's inability to choose a path and stay on it. In one scene Emily urges her former fiance and his intended to enjoy every second of their betrothal ball as she could not stand to diminish it in any way. With her very next breath she berates them as undeserving of her. Whiplash moments like these abound. Later in the book Emily rushes off to see the previously rejected BFF as "I have no quarrel with her, you know." Emily is prone to this kind of passive aggressive bullshit when she isn't making her own life infinitely harder through impulsive and ill considered actions. The author drops in and out of these implausible shifts with equally awkward conversations. Not naturally, or in a way that makes internal sense, but to point out the author realizes this is kind of a left field event. As a reader, I was as bewildered as Emily's former fiance. In addition to the emotional curveballs the author keeps the plot curveballs coming too. (What's that, Lassie? Emily must marry in a month or her sisters lose all? Why didn't anyone mention this 2/3 of the book ago?)

So. Emily kisses childhood friend, Emily jokes about marrying childhood friend, entire town and both families expect it to occur, Emily (when faced with a need to marry) does not tell him. She lives on the neglected corners of his life scrubbing her own floors and waits. Emily charms the birds from the trees with her gaiety. Childhood friend runs off to London and falls in love with BFF who returns to town but doesn't tell Emily who she is engaged to marry so that it can be a shocking revelation at the ball. This makes no sense. I can buy both of them as completely clueless about Emily's air castles, but to not tell your BFF you're marrying a mutual friend? Not to challenge your son on his fiance's changed circumstances? Not to tell your parents ahead of the ball you will announce the engagement at that you're marrying? Like the rest of the book, these events have to happen for other events to happen. At one point I wrote "Miss Barnes has gone a cliche too far."

The real one eyed reading occurs at the end of the book. Our hero has been harboring the deep dark secret that he is a surrogate child. His father was so enraptured by the surrogate that he installed her in all their homes, preferring her to his wife and living openly with her after his wife's suicide. Since his death said evil doer has been blackmailing our hero for fairly absurd sums of money on the basis of a signed letter confessing all! Why our hero's father would write such a letter set aside, why the hero wouldn't just let her give her plot a shot, all of this you have to take on faith. (After all, this is the guy who thinks Emily isn't like the rest of us but means that in a good way.) Kate (the former BFF) runs to Emily (because she hasn't had enough gas-lighting) and tells Emily that the hero's biological mother is actually his mistress. Rather than run suicidally off into the night like the last time, Emily runs suicidally off to a formerly barely mentioned and shortly never to be mentioned again diabolical relative. She'd rather marry him (here we discover the must marry in a month timetable) than face Hero McIncestCheaterpants again!! (Histrionic, much?) Emily arrives, determined to marry Edward. I was sort of hoping he'd ask Emily if she'd ever consider a soothing drink and a nice cooling cloth, but he's as over the top as the rest of them.

First he gloats about his feelings of inadequacy and then he proclaims he's going to rape her. Emily can't go back to her sisters, her life or our hero. Remember, her former BFF who is engaged to her pretend fiance told her that a woman old enough to be his mother is sleeping with the hero! Rape is her only option!!! Emily starts to take her clothes off like the good little martyr she is. (I think the only way I followed this bit is my southern heritage. Convoluted explanations are our birthright.) Luckily Emily is saved by the hero and Edward is whisked off the canvas with a "Sorry, my bad" after the hero stakes his prior claim. While we were waiting for Emily to finish taking her clothes off Kate was being berated (yet again) by Emily's equally reality challenged sister. How could Kate make such an allegation? Doesn't she know Emily self harms?? (I hope Kate learns her lesson here and puts as much distance between this toxic family and herself as possible.) Emily is whisked off to marry the hero in secret, since he stopped off at the Get A Special Permit Store and took care of business. At his home, he confesses all (after first dillydallying about confessing anything) and they decide to trick the blackmailer into revealing the location of the letter.

Crazy things happen (big shock) that I am really not interested in reliving. In the course of them the blackmailer reveals a secret addition to the dead Earl's will that leaves her buckets of things. She will trade Emily the letter in return for access to the home (that she already had access to earlier in the book, and earlier in her life) so she may retrieve it. But what's this! As the hero braces himself to learn how his father further betrayed him he discovers the codicil is a giant "Pwnd!" intended for the blackmailer. It reveals that the letter in question has a fake signature! It can't be used! He knows his wife didn't commit suicide but was killed by his mistress and he kept sleeping with her because... I can't even. Why would you write either document? Man up, dead Earl. Quit abandoning your wife, your son and your duty to the estate. Don't leave her with an inheritance and a blackmail letter and a lot of bad sex memories! On the other hand, if he hadn't then our blackmailer couldn't do what we were all longing to do at this point. She whips out a hidden gun and shoots Emily.

Sadly, Emily survives.

*Since I wrote this (and scheduled it) my kindler, gentler, less annoyed short form review was the subject of one of many sock puppets out in force for those who dare to dislike this book. My personal puppet was as unable to pick a lane and stay in it as Emily herself. (Bless.) Someone should hold a class on Effective Puppetry For The Debut Author with a section on Making It Look At Least Plausibly Organic. That someone won't be me. I can't be bothered. I left How Miss Rutherford Got Her Groove Back intending to try the author's next book. Despite some style issues there were indications that (freed from her melodramatic bent) Barnes could deliver an entertaining tale. Watching the drama playing out over multiple sites I would rather make my break with Miss Barnes as clean as my break with Emily.

Review: The Summer Of You by Kate Noble

2012-02-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

I've been in a bit of a book slump lately so I thought I'd take the suggestions of others and try Kate Noble. I bought The Summer of You when it first came out as a trade paperback and it has been languishing on my TBR pile ever since. I can completely appreciate The Summer of You even as I discard it. (Perhaps I should call this Grant Syndrome in honor of A Lady Awakened?)

The Summer of You does have strong characters and a fresher setting. While a Duke is present, we're not playing Duke, Duke, Groom as the only Duke present is the heroine's ailing father. The characterization was good, the relationship between our heroine and her drunken immature brother was one of the more realistic sibling pairings I've read and yet... There was something far too modern about this read. I'm all for updating the standard hero and heroine to a more realistic level. Times change, people don't. Yet people are still a product of their times. Did I buy these people in these times reacting in these ways? I'm not sure I did. The townspeople were stronger than the leads, never a good sign for me. There was another pet problem of mine, one I don't have a snappy name for. Participant Peril? Heroine Harm? I don't know. We've got a war hero with a bad leg saving a drowning child with a concussion so I thought we'd gotten our brush with death out of the way, but it was not to be.

The subplot of our disgruntled heroine stranded in the suburbs with her forgetful father and drunken brother meets mysterious and reclusive neighbor story is that the town has decided he's a highwayman. Apparently a series of non violent crimes have coincided with his arrival and he is just unfriendly enough to convince all he must be the villain. This (oh, it is probably way too late for a spoiler tag isn't it? It's not a new release, you'll just have to forgive me.) of course leads to a few near arrests, an actual arrest and a grand proclaiming that the heroine was twisting the sheets with the hero on a night in question. Really, who does that? Who alibis someone in the middle of a house party? I suppose she does. Because she has to in order to flee into the night where she might as well end up feverish in a chicken coop for all the pointless disaster that befalls her.

While escaping from the scandal of her own making, and at the command of the brother she has (up to now) largely ignored, she is set upon by the true highwayman. Luckily, many people figured out that dude's identity about five seconds before so help is one the way. Our highwayman has decided to move from profit to violence which makes almost no sense. He apparently knows she has cleared the hero, but he assumes she will be readily believed. By attacking her he cements the alibi and further complicates his own situation. Raping the heroine is much more awesome to him than living a comfortable life under the nose of those from whom his gain is ill-gotten so off he goes to pillage. She gets knocked silly, she gets rescued, he reveals he planned to frame our hero all along, but is thwarted by a surprise stowaway in the carriage.

What is the surprise stowaway even doing there? Earlier in the chapter we are asked to believe that a comfortably situated member of the minor gentry has decided to get away from it all by leaving her parents a note and slipping away with the disgraced ducal daughter. What? I mean, full stop, what? Why does she think said disgraced daughter either will or can fund her escapade? How would she return to live in the village after running off with the recently revealed tramp? It doesn't make any sense. Does she expect she can hitch a ride to her sister's home? Does she expect she can make a new life with what she's wearing and the goodwill of a neighbor she barely knows? Is there a thought in her head besides "Someone is going to have to reveal the villain in a few pages when he gets all villainy?" In a contemporary, yes. In a WW2 novel, yes. Heck, possibly even in a late Victorian. Maybe. But how is this girl planning to survive if everyone turns her out? She has not previously exhibited a lack of all brainpower. I couldn't go there. I can see why so many have suggested Kate Noble so strongly to me, but I don't think I'm in for another go. I'd like to read another book by her but not another historical.

Review: Jazz Age Josephine by Jonah Winter & Marjorie Priceman

2012-02-02T03:18:00.000-05:00

Jazz Age Josephine wasn't slated for review on this blog, but after reading it I really hope it finds a wider audience. Too few books on black icons exist that haven't been hopelessly sanitized for white audiences. While my fellow reviewers at Amazon would have preferred to leave race out of the story, I am so glad the authors left it in.

Josephine's reasons for leaving St Louis are tagged to the larger issue of the St Louis fire instead of the specific abuse she endured as a child laborer. I don't really know how to answer readers complaining that white people have been presented as bad people or that the merits of minstrel shows aren't included. (I might need to watch Bamboozled fifty or sixty more times to process that one.) I'd say it's interesting to me that children can process all sorts of villains and peril if it is presented by Disney yet cannot handle the truth about our nation but it's really not. It's incredibly boring and often infuriating. (It's also destroying our two party system, but that's a whole different kettle.)

Anyway, if you're raising a kid in the reality based community (or working with an adult literacy program) Jazz Age Josephine is a delightfully illustrated book with a syncopated text that lends itself well to reading aloud. (Wait, I'm still getting over my fellow reviewers. Young Josephine being so poor that rats nibble at her feet is fine, but white citizens burning out a black section of town is just too disturbing for the little tykes? Um. Ok.) While Josephine Baker's life is far more complex than one children's book can hold, her rags to riches story is framed in a message of self belief and personal reliance. Josephine faces adversity and overcomes it to attain a fame that is as empty as it is satisfying, showing that even a Princess can't have it all. I'm going to give Josephine the last word (or image) here. She created an amazing and often inspirational life that this book presents in an appropriate context for children. As refreshing in it's refusal to ignore race as it is in it's refusal to pretend wealth heals all wounds, Jazz Age Josephine deserves your attention.

Review: Ali in Wonderland by Ali Wentworth

2012-02-01T15:34:00.000-05:00

I did not enjoy Ali Wentworth's book. It is entirely possible her material plays better if you have some frame of reference for her as a comedian. When I read Kathy Griffin, I heard her voice in the story. When I read Mindy Kaling I lacked that voice but the book stood up on it's own. For Ali In Wonderland I had no voice to hold up what was ultimately very weak material.

There could have been a great book from the bones of her story, but Wentworth didn't write it. I felt alienated from the author. Unlike Sedaris, where the joke is generally on him and the evisceration of others is done with some kindness, Wentworth's came across as a child of privilege resenting others judging her for that privilege. It was difficult to find a way to commiserate with her. When I would start to get some interest in her life she would throw something out that derailed it again. Getting through the book was such a chore I posted to Twitter every few pages as an encouragement to finish. Perhaps instead of a proper review I will follow the path taken by the book and offer you my loosely connected and highly personalized thoughts, direct from Twitter and chat.

I am not enjoying this upcoming release. Everyone in the memoir but the heroine sucks and it is saturated in unexamined privilege.

Author Washington insider, assures us all the family money gone, then launches into elite life. Own your status.

Opens with castle rented to propose to her, segues into DC life. Currently in prep school where she can do things like fly home at will.

Her life could be a funny and fascinating memoir but her writing style is SO off putting. Hasn't a kind word for anyone, really.

I could see the material being amusing in certain verbal delivery styles. Not coming across in print at all.

Book has a lot of marketing money behind it, expected to be huge. I'm going to get pummeled for hating it. Whatevs. Kiss my Ammy rank g'bye.

Oh hello, Girl Interrupted.

The author of this book just called out 153 lbs as an impossible tipping of the scales, her own mother doesn't recognize her.

Talking about an ex with a clunker, she relates how her mom is worried about safety so sells him her car at token price of 1k.

She and mom lie to him about why, because crazy pride! But hey, worth it for safe boyfriend car!

Not for boyfriend safety, mind you, but for hers. We should always lie to the poorer classes.

Author started to win me over, promptly killed it with dismissive remark about girls with less advantages than she. Calls them Escorts.

Her class issues are flying through the whole thing, triggering all of mine. She pisses away choices then judges people without them.

She calls herself middle class while jaunting about the world and dining with world leaders.

She walks off on an internship at Christie's because they had a dress code and expected her to fetch tea. London housing, even.

Author wants it both ways. Does not want to be judged for her silver spoon, yet wants to judge them for their lack of utensils.

This next tidbit... Almost gang raped by Mexican crack heads, go to the Four Seasons for 2 wks of pampering. Tries to tie in that old car would have been safer.

Situational humor requires a heart. Author saves her warmth for herself.

I am not sure why this book is funny. 3 big blurbs on it, but I haven't even smiled.

Omg. 9/11 has hit and the author takes to her bed at a luxury hotel when she has a perfectly good hotel room farther away.

No really, 9/11 just used as an anecdote to demonstrate how skewed her family is.

Halfway through. Second time author has said yes to an unwanted proposal. It's easier.

On page 215 I laughed. Yes, it was because she compared baptism to preparing a baby for roasting, but it was a welcome drop in this desert.

By page 234 I am back to frown faced reading.

The book is done! The review will wait. I might start a new personal blog since last night I killed Jesus. (Didn't mean to.)

And thus we conclude our first real time review of a book. I appreciated the opportunity to read Ali In Wonderland, it was an advance copy and I always regret disliking a gift. Ali Wentworth is probably perfectly lovely in real life, charming and amusing on a chat show. I have no doubt she is a better person than she came across to me in this book. If I had to guess, I would predict Ali In Wonderland will hit big and satisfy a core market. The crossover appeal is limited. On to the next.

In Which I Am Working A Stick

2012-01-26T00:10:00.001-05:00

Really, this is still a book blog. I swear.

The thing is, it's taking me a bit longer to get past the medical than I expected. The forced confinement has sent me limping off in search of less cerebral excitement. The sort you can only have at the fair. Where things must be both fried and shoved on sticks to be considered worthy of consumption. (Not unlike a lot of books I read.) I've got a fair bit of February fiction coming up and a backlog of January nonfiction. Just as soon as I figure out why they repainted the funhouse. Does anyone over the age of six use these things? It's troubling....

Review: Josie Loves J. Valentine

2012-01-16T15:54:00.001-05:00

This Is How We Do Christmas, a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

You may have noticed a lack of content in the last few weeks. A certain unseen person in our household gave himself a Blu Ray dvd writer for the holiday and has been updating all of our home movies. Since it takes about 24 hours to process each disc and he is a bit of a home movie fanatic - well, let's just say my access to the home network has been limited. I finally get to show you my favorite holiday gift. (No, not the guy. That's my brother. I got him for the holidays before the bicentennial. He is so out of warranty it's ridiculous.)

The guy is wearing (and quite well, I must say) the Monster Vest in black from the Josie Stevens Josie Loves J. Valentine collection. I love everything Josie designs, but I can't pull all of it off. (Ok, at various times in my life I could, but I'm a realist who lives in the now.)

I love her design sense so much it's probably a good thing there isn't a local retailer for me. I think I would try it all on, and once tried... likely buyed. (Um, should that be bought? Doesn't sound so snappy.) I adore this vest. It's crazy warm, it has teeth (teeth are underused in fashion) it's fun, it's faux fur and it's made in America. The inside is lined, the detailing is there, it's adorable. It's also a fascinating litmus test. Wearing it gets you the most fantastic reactions. My friends adore it, think it suits me perfectly, and love it. My acquaintances either ask if I'm kidding or (loved this one) say they didn't even notice I was wearing something new. Strangers are evenly split down the middle. I could save so much time screening new social contacts. Love my vest? I'll probably love you! Just to be fair, I'm going to include a photo of myself so you can see that once again, it's my brother that rocks the style in the family while I drag it along behind him. (It's not my best photo, but my cousin snapped it and so I have it ready to go.) I totally need more from this line. It could get addictive pretty easily. If I'd had this back in the day, I'm pretty sure I'd have worn it with a bikini and stiletto boots.

Review: The Lure of Song and Magic by Patricia Rice

2012-01-04T15:03:00.000-05:00

I like Patricia Rice. I rarely like paranormals. Do you see the problem?

Not having read the Magic series that this book is a contemporary offshoot from, I may have missed most of the point of The Lure of Song and Magic. I decided to give this one a shot as part of my pledge to read more contemporaries and not be such a paranormal snob. Oz (Or whatever his name is - everyone in this book has half a dozen names they never use) is a weird combination - wait. Full stop. This is going to be a spoiler filled review so let me do a quick synopsis for those on the fence.

Oz is a Hollywood producer seeking his lost son. Pippa is a burnt out child starlet he believes has a lead on the boy's whereabouts. By infiltrating her life, Oz discovers there is more at work in his son's repeat kidnapping than he imagined. Drawing Pippa back into the world is the only way for him to discover the truth. This is a light paranormal with an extra sensory focus that has an excellent sense of person and place but requires the reader to buy into the underlying conceit for true appreciation. It's a decent read if you like paranormal but could be stronger with a grounding in the established myth.

Right then, back to me. Where were we? Oh yea, so Oz has apparently no emotional connection with anyone except when he totally has an emotional connection with them. His wife died less than a year ago, his child was kidnapped twice, and he's pretty much fully functional. On the other hand, he's completely empathetic to (and tolerant of) Pippa's off the scale freak outs. He calls her by one of her names and she turns into a hysterical keening mess - so he carries her to her pool and throws her in. (I suppose because she doesn't have a horse trough.) The tossing in the pool and Pippa's fruit based meat free diet become major points in the book. I knew more about her dietary choices than her life by the time the book was done. (While I am at it - enough already with the Very Special Vegans in romance. Yes, Pippa I do want that nasty greasy diner breakfast. No, I don't want your whole wheat waffle with compote. Why does Oz have to announce in such a long suffering manner that he was forced to find you a veggie burger? Do other romance leads announce "She eats the flesh of the animal! I had to procure at great difficulty a portion of carcass!" No. No they do not. Authors, please take note. Your character can be Vegan without being an Example To Us All.) Later we find out Oz is an empath. He is so tuned into the emotions of others that he completely failed to notice his wife was afraid of him and the nanny was barking. Let's move on to Pippa. (Try not to look her in the face. Pippa dresses like a Godspell reject and does so without terrifying children. I'm not sure how, my kids would give her a very wide berth.)

Pippa is a child star who fell apart following the death of her drug abusing spouse. Married in her teens, widowed in her teens, she has retreated to a private enclave where she works with children and authors books for nominal royalties. She is almost as crazy as the nanny. Pippa was taken from her family at a young age and abandoned. After discovering her voice (hereafter called Voice) could control the humans around her, she sonically murdered her husband in her rage. (Pippa also blames herself for his cheating, his drug abuse and his self destructive violent ways. Pippa is convinced she is god and an emasculating one at that.) Oz assures her that her extreme nuttiness doesn't matter to him because he got a text message from a complete stranger called The Librarian revealing Pippa is the clue to finding his son. Pippa is fairly uninterested in Oz's son but would like to find her family, so a deal is struck. (Also a TV pilot developed. Oz's need for that show is suspect at best, but the plot uses it for the finale so there ya go.)

Oz, Pippa, and a side character are compelled to follow The Librarian's every instruction without knowing who or what this potential internet wacko is. It's like he's Charlie and they're the Angels. When it is discovered that The Librarian has been pulling all the strings in their lives (including the catalyst for both kidnappings and both recoveries) there is almost no reaction. I might have bought into this better if there was a decent explanation for The Librarian in this book. This reveal has obviously been saved for later books or is a hold over from earlier books. Either way, without the mythology behind it, the entire house of cards about Pippa's heritage and the evil forces trying to control paranormals falls down in a huff of WTFery. It's a long way to go for almost nothing. In a way, it's like Patricia Rice's other recent contemporary, Evil Genius. Estranged family of odd abilities, kick ass but dorky and oddly dressed female lead, family secrets, etc. But Evil Genius offered more in explanation than The Lure Of Song and Magic does, with a much smaller helping of These People Are All Crazy Cakes served beside it.

In the end I neither liked nor loathed The Lure of Song and Magic. I wanted it to be a better book, maybe with an understanding of the paranormal world it's set in I would have felt it was one. I still like Patricia Rice. I still rarely like paranormals. I'm not sure if I'm in for a second book or not. I may go back and read the volume of the previous series that's been haunting my TBR shelf for quite a while before I decide.

Review: Trouble At The Wedding by Laura Lee Guhrke

2012-01-03T17:45:00.000-05:00

I have not been a big fan of this series. In fact, I completely forgot this was a series. (Trouble At The Wedding requires no exposure to the other Abandoned At The Altar books.) Guhrke working with Edwardian characters is brilliant. If you consider how distanced Heyer was from the Regency versus how distant we are from the Edwardians, it makes perfect sense. I can see my great grandparents in these characters, I can relate the things I know of them and their lives to the lives being led by these people. It allows for a familiarity that Regency books don't. While Guhrke is still working with many of the same fairy tale elements that historical romance is based on, this push forward makes them feel fresh. Additionally, there is so much social change and new technology available. (He can admire her car!)

This time around we have the title hunting steel magnolia Annabel versus Christian the (say it with me) Duke. Let's just go ahead and call him Duke, since every man in Romanceland is now a Duke. Anyway, it is very difficult for me to read an American character, especially a southern American character, without getting annoyed. (I imagine it's how the UK feels about every single romance we put out.) Guhrke has dodged that bullet. Her Annabel might drawl but she doesn't dither, she fights without being feisty and she is never going to be called spunky. This is an American without a chip on her shoulder. She wants to fit into British Society and she wants it bad. (Here we pause for a wrong note. Twice her family mentions that they are 'poor white trash'. It's unfortunate that the white is added. While it's a common phrase we are dealing with turn of the century Southern characters, which brings all the post slavery and nascent Jim Crow baggage along. Since this book, like most of Romanceland is All About The White People, tossing the descriptor in threw me out of the story. I have family of that era on both sides of the money tree and that phrase is not in their letters, diaries, or late life conversations. It is a phrase I associate with racists, and my Edwardian to Clinton Era cousin would have as well.)

Right, back to our tale. The Duke is broker than broke and he is offered a fair amount of cash to get Annabel to break it off with her intended fiance. (Where did her uncle get money? Never exactly answered.) Said fiance is (luckily for our Duke!) an uncaring creepster who just wants to be a billionaire so freaking bad. Our Duke isn't interested in marrying for money. He went down that road once before and his Princess Di didn't fare so well. Trapped on a luxury liner with the wedding party, he tries to wake Annabel up to the reality of life under Rumsford. Instead, he reminds her of her weakness for bad boys. Here the book might be the strongest. Annabel and Duke under the pressures of their conflicting desires are far more interesting than your average seafaring couple. It's not so much that the tale weakens when they hit land, but if all had been resolved on the boat I might have loved this one even more.

Annabel and England take to each other fairly easily. England has gotten used to American heiresses since Mr. Duke's time and Annabel is highly motivated. Soon she's realizing she might not have to marry to achieve her goals, she might have just needed the change of venue. Of course, that can't last or Mr. Duke wouldn't get the chance to realize he needs her. So it doesn't, and he does and there it is. I felt the ending was a bit rushed and I really didn't like the theming at the end at all but it was a sin I could forgive. I'd say the first 2/3 of the book was a great read and the last 1/3 had some high notes but dipped a bit lower. Avon has (at least for now) come to their senses on the whole Agency Pricing thing (ok, not completely, but they've stopped charging more than the paperback's going rate) so you can get the eBook for a reasonable $4.99 USD at the moment. On all fronts I'd say things are looking up for the Abandoned At The Altar series.

Review: The Autobiography by Elisabeth Sladen

2012-01-01T13:14:00.001-05:00

This is a far better book than it needed to be. Isn't that the hallmark of Elisabeth Sladen's career? Without her careful attention, would Sarah Jane Smith have been the icon she became? Of course, Sladen was far more than just Sarah Jane Smith. She was a wife, a mother, a theater actress and a woman with a serious work ethic. In that order.

Sladen preserves her private life in what is largely a career memoir, but when she does dip into her personal situation it is to illustrate a career moment. Given a choice between her family or herself, Sladen chooses her family. It answers the question of why she wasn't a larger star in her post Doctor Who years and it also answers how she and her husband were able to manage a two actor marriage. Elisabeth Sladen, for all her career regrets, lived a life that placed the personal above the professional. I respect her even more for putting her humanity above her ambition.

The Autobiography is so clearly in Sladen's voice that the fan in me felt the loss all over again when I closed the book. Even when telling of her frustrations and personal conflicts Sladen looked for a brighter side of things. The joke is always on her, the buck always stops at her desk. She is not one to ignore professional conflict, neither is she one to belittle the person with whom she conflicted. Sladen follows every bitter memory with a tasty one. The result is the reader feeling as though they have spent an afternoon with her, hearing her actor tales firsthand. Sladen reveals that she, like many of us, thought Eccleston ended his Doctor Who run too soon. Perhaps he was the wiser man, as one who has watched several leave the role Sladen knew that the drop from star to mortal is stunning. The show is the star and the actors merely participants.

I don't know how a reader who is not a fan of Doctor Who would respond to this book. Although Sladen discusses her early days and her post Who days it is largely a story of her days as Sarah Jane Smith. Sladen understands where her core fans reside and she meets them there. From her frustration with the BBC's failure to properly monetize in America to her appreciation for Whovian loyalty, Sladen knows the audience for this book. When she began, she had no idea she was ill. I wonder if she would have changed it? Would the sharp feelings be further muted? Perhaps it is for the best that Sladen set the manuscript in a drawer, forgotten, and let her family decide to bring it to market. As the book ends and the afterword begins, Elisabeth Sladen (like Sarah Jane Smith) is looking forward to her next adventure. Neither of them will be forgotten.

Review: A Lady Awakened by Cecilia Grant

2011-12-31T21:33:00.000-05:00

Dude, I totally hated this book. I know everyone and their mother loved it. I struggled to finish it for a month and only brought it home as an end of 2011 resolution, complete with live tweets. Grant and I, we're just going to quietly settle the bill and agree not to share a Taxi. To explain why is going to require spoilers. Lots and lots of them. Don't read this review unless you have already finished A Lady Awakened or have sworn off reading books. Maybe both. I am thinking of you here.

Grant can write, her talent isn't in question. I can see Grant writing a book I would rave over as people are raving over this one. The problem is after finishing A Lady Awakened I don't think I'd pick up a second title. I hate books where I spend a lot of time wondering why. Why doesn't Martha want to live with her family? Why is Martha willing to have sex with a stranger for a month when she clearly despises it? Why is Theo ready to have sex every possible moment? Why does he return to sleep with a women so disinterested that her contempt causes him impotence? There are so many WTF moments in A Lady Awakened and the answers shift about like sand. Martha doesn't want to live at home because she just doesn't want to. Then she doesn't because she earned her home in her 11 months of marriage. Then she doesn't because the heir is a creepy rapist and her school will close. Then she totally wants to give the house up because the creepy rapist has sons. Creepy rapist is going to sign an agreement (oh, well then!) that will give his wife and kids rights to the house and he (after an intervention by the neighbors explaining that they don't like him) will abandon that family. In what year?? How is that binding on him, rational of him, or even slightly likely? Plus, Martha is claiming her child is the rightful heir, obviously (if she is willing to give up the property) it is not - so why wouldn't he seize on that tidbit? It is a bucket of WTF. Things happen because they have to happen for the story to happen not because the people (as brilliantly drawn as they are) would be likely to do these things.

Take Theo. Some chick he doesn't know approaches him and offers a small fortune for sex (which he never claims) so he says hey, why not? I will give him that. I will even give him being willing to cheat a neighboring landowner simply on the say so of a widow. When Theo shows up, it's as close to rape as consensual sex can be. She not only dislikes sex she ruminates to herself on how disgusting the male body is when compared to a female one. (Gaydar! Our heroine is either asexual or lesbian. Oh wait, all this falls away later when we discover she does like the male figure and secretly self pleasures thinking about it. WTF?) Ok, so long story short, Martha had a year of bad sex and her answer to that is to deny herself any physical responses so she can maintain power and control in her life. Because of course the rational choice of a woman embarking on a month of sex is to make it as unpleasant for herself as possible. Anyway, she says awesome things to Theo like "Are you done yet?" and he discovers a new world in impotence. But hey, his word is his bond, so back in the saddle he comes. WTF? He's attractive, 26 and not exactly destitute. There have to be options that don't involve fraud and pseudo rape! (I asked others their view of Theo's actions. The response was "Is it science fiction? Because that's not happening in this world.")

Through unsatisfying sex they discover social crusades, invent collective farming and fall in love. (No, they pretty much do.) Martha resolves to make him a better man through the careful nudging of female approval, as though this poor simple minded man needs only her warm regard to change. In her defense, apparently she is right. Suddenly Theo is roofing homes and building economic safety nets. Also, he vomits when someone implies he'd rape a disabled teen - seems a bit extreme, but maybe he has a sensitive stomach. The disabled teen has a perpetually pregnant mother. On one occasion Theo slips and calls Martha by her first name in front of the woman. Martha is distressed and shocked so naturally she turns to the woman and says hey, I heard my brother in law raped you. (Martha, WTF?) For most of the book this woman is portrayed as stressed beyond her ability to cope, her children neglected by her fatigue and her home in utter disarray. Suddenly we discover she has a loyal and caring husband, a childhood sweetheart who lets her take the lead in life and who puts her cares above his own. So why are his kids neglected? Why is his wife overburdened? She grew up in the community so why does she lack support? If it is because of a rape 16 years ago why does that same community suddenly rally for the aforementioned intervention with the brother in law? See all the Why we've got going on?

Martha, who considered offering this woman cash for her unborn child, never puts anything together. A woman who keeps a mentally disabled child arising from rape is going to sell you her son so he can be lord of the manor? How do you think that's going to happen? How is her husband going to be down with that? Martha's rationale is that obviously the woman has too many children to handle already and will be glad to lighten her load. Martha goes from unsympathetic to evil in one musing. Class issues, she has them. Luckily Martha changes her mind because Theo finally teaches her to like sex! All it takes is him asking her to tie him up and they're off to the races. Is this a new convention? From I-can't-stand-you-touching-me to let-me-blow-you-baby all with one carefully placed stocking? Now we have the inevitable failure to communicate as estate-free Martha finds Theo has fled from her lack of love. Because telling him you've decided to marry him would have made too much sense. Obviously Martha's control issues have overridden her planning personality. Faced with no estate and a return to her family, Martha is saved by Theo's determined return.

I gotta wish him luck. God only knows what Martha's going to come up with next. That chick has crazy eyes.

Review: Shatner Rules by William Shatner and Chris Regan

2011-12-28T12:39:00.002-05:00

What do you say about William Shatner that hasn't already been said? Revered or reviled, Lionized or devoured, he is an American institution (all while being Canadian). At a certain point I wondered what Shatner would say about himself. (Disclosure; I've read books by Nichelle Nichols, Jimmy Doohan and George Takei.) I approached Shatner Rules wondering if Shatner is a deeply misunderstood man or a raging egomanic with an improper understanding of his talents.

The answer is yes.

He's sort of a less destructive Charlie Sheen. When he yells winning, you get the idea that it requires others to be losing. After going after (almost) all of his former costars for various reasons (they were not the stars, they are fame whores, etc etc) he then claims all their hard feelings are born from their own imaginations. He's apologized for any imagined slights (as opposed, I imagine to the ones in the book) and moved on. Why do they still feel so angry? If I loved the guy and he talked about me the way he does his ex costars I'd have to rethink it.

There's a lot of that who-could-possibly-know faux innocence to Shatner. He invites Henry Rollins to the same event as Rush Limbaugh and expects everyone to make nice. (Why would there be a problem there?) Rollins handles it with incredible grace, but the fact that Shatner never gave it a thought shows a lot about his personality. Discussing the absolute brilliant cover of Common People he did with Joe Jackson, Shatner takes several swipes at Joe. While ending with an acknowledgement of Jackson's utter genius, he leads with a ton of negativity in front of the praise. I imagine this is just how Shatner operates. It's not the most effective way to make friends.

So. Does Shatner think he is a brilliantly underrated performer who does not deserve the mocking he's graciously borne over the years? Absolutely. He is not entirely wrong. Shatner has a serious work ethic that demands the best he can offer from himself and others. Shatner has created multiple memorable characters in a career where people are lucky to produce one. He delivers what he is hired for, no matter what that might be. Shatner is a pro. His musical attempts are often better then he has been credited for. They are not, however, even close to his own assessment of them. The contradiction of William Shatner is that both sides are right. He is a charismatic and professional talent. He is also far from innocent of the various charges lain at his feet. In the end, Shatner Rules is an illuminating look at both sides of the man, the side he prefers to see and the side he unwittingly reveals. I am absolutely a fan.

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-24T15:11:00.000-05:00

Hoping A Greek Tycoon Brought You Something Special

Review: Don't Kill the Birthday Girl by Sandra Beasley

2011-12-23T21:21:00.000-05:00

Love this cover. I think I was almost 2/3 of the way done before I really looked at the little cupcake decoration. It's clean, it's eye catching, it relates to the contents. I have no complaints at all on this one. The book is great too.

While I expected to dislike Don't Kill The Birthday Girl I loved it so much I should marry it. I live in in area where fake food allergies are common and yet I am all too familiar with real food allergies. If I throw a party I know at least two children will arrive with special instructions and an EpiPen but six more will have mothers standing by to explain their allergies as the so called allergic children graze openly on forbidden foods. Sandra Beasley finds this as infuriating as I do. Describing food dislikes or sensitivities as allergies endangers the truly allergic. Sandra Beasley is one of those so endangered.

Almost completely free of self pity, Beasley intersperses important information about the recognition and rise of true food allergies with anecdotal tales of life as a fragile child. With the impatience of anyone restricted, she longs to be normal. Sandra would rather eat what you're eating than draw attention to a myriad number of ingredients that can kill her. She doesn't feel a little queasy or get a headache after encountering an allergen - she goes to the hospital. Addressing the facts of food allergies calmly (that peanut allergy is not an airborne danger but touching someone with a hand that touched peanuts could be serious) Beasley offers insight into the current wave of food fear. Often amusing, at times frustrating, her goal to lead as normal a life as possible makes a great memoir.

Contemporary Challenge Review: Georgia Bockoven VS Sandra Hyatt

2011-12-21T17:37:00.001-05:00

I used to read category romance extensively. Over the years I found myself reading less and less category, then less and less contemporary until finally I was almost exclusively in the historical niche. I've given myself the pointless challenge of rediscovering category books and contemporary romance. Harlequin had a major sale recently and I took the opportunity to buy a number of books from Twitter hashtag suggestions. I found that I read a category romance in about an hour, perhaps 90 minutes. That's got to kill the authors. I know they spend a lot more time on these books than I do, but there it is. Since they're quick reads for me, let's look at them in pairs. First up - If I'd Never Known Your Love by Georgia Bockoven versus Lessons In Seduction by Sandra Hyatt. (Spoiler's Ahoy)

I gather that the premise of the Everlasting Love line is that you've got one shot at couplehood. I used to read the (formerly Silhouette) Desire line voraciously, so I was more familiar with that framework. The Bockoven book left me curiously flat. I understand this is a three hankie classic read, but it didn't hit me emotionally. I admired how it was done without connecting to the characters. The lead is a woman who married her childhood love only to lose him. The book focuses almost exclusively on her. She is either fighting to get her husband back, remembering her youth with her husband (a bad boy gone good) or trying to move on with her life. This is an oddly idyllic setting for a pretty dark tale. The husband, a former foster child, falls into the lap of her farm family. After soaking up their good values and warm hearts, he builds a life with the heroine. He is oddly (and almost unrealistically) capable at relationships. The warm family is the type that can drop everything to support her when things go south, and her financial situation is extremely solid. This is a woman who can expect to be caught if she falls down. Even as she moves on with her life the safety net is extensive and intact. It undermined the well paced story of her struggle to find her missing man. All of her desperation is focused on the fact of his loss, little is spent on the day to day effects. In a sense, she saves him at the expense of all else. As a young woman, she wants to save him from his past. As an adult, she wants to save him from his fate. Children, careers, all else is secondary to her need to support him. When a new man enters her life there isn't anything left of her to give. He's certainly her type - he needs to be saved as well. I found this more of a character piece than what I consider a romance, although it was absolutely a genre book. I was frequently frustrated by the heroine even as I empathized with her. The topic is certainly fresh and authentic - hostage taking as a business is too common in many failed nations.

Hyatt's book was the complete opposite. While still a complete fairy tale, this story of a working class girl and an overburdened prince felt more real than the truer-to-life Bockoven book. Hyatt's limo driver is moonlighting from her higher profile day job as a way to keep her father's employment secure. Her hot and cold boss is a workaholic young heir to the throne trying to fit finding a wife into his already overbooked schedule. While this is also a tale with a shared childhood, it is not a reunited lovers story. The couple's attraction is as adults, their development is more moderate. She isn't seeking so much to save the prince as to remind him how to have fun. He has given away so many pieces of himself to responsibility that he has forgotten who he is. Her swinging between irritation with the man and awe of his status reads smoothly. Despite the less realistic premise I connected more with the leads of the Hyatt book than the Bockoven. In both cases, I was reminded what a quick read a category romance is. these books can be fit between other demands, read in a lunch break or two. Neither demanded my full attention, there was a small cast of characters and a very focused plot to resolve. The lack of complexity was part of the appeal to me in the past - I actually did read these on retail lunch breaks. I'm not sure if I will rediscover my love of the short form contemporary romance, but I have absolutely renewed my appreciation for their complexity. Simple is hard.

Review: The Duke Is Mine by Eloisa James

2011-12-15T12:40:00.000-05:00

Oh, Eloisa.

Well. I like the cover.

That sounds brutal, doesn't it? I really liked the book too. In fact I loved the book, I adored the book, I was raving about the book, except when I wasn't. There is a definite pea in this novel, and I was princess enough to find it irritating. Let's make a list of the wonderful things about The Duke Is Mine.

* Olivia has body image issues that are not papered over by a makeover, a weight loss or a new corset.

* Duke the First is the best special needs hero since Pamela Morsi wrote Simple Jess.

* Duke the Second reminded me of a number of engineers I know. His inability to process or recognize emotions easily was spot on perfect.

* The sibling dynamic between Olivia and her sister was real, touching and true.

* This book should have been epic. People should read it.

Now the sadness. Some of the character names are nonsensical. One, maybe. Two or three and you've lost me. A Justin Bieber tribute. A family of Bumtrinkets. Olivia loves limericks and scatalogical humor. A dog is named for the the heroine of Winning The Wallflower. How do I take the main characters seriously if we're going to move in and out of farce? Any of these elements are fine, but bundle them together and it's a different book. The balance of whimsy and weight slipped around too often. Toward the very end of the book I was ready to forgive all. At a strong emotional point the book took a sudden turn for single act theater. Olivia is placed in mortal danger by a slapstick troupe. Why? So we could work in the Princess and Pea plot with a side car of emotional realization.

If coming to understand what you feel for someone required having a near mortal event most hospitals would offer weddings. They don't. The entire I didn't realize how much I loved him / her until they were bleeding to death in front of me thing is played out. I'm tired of reading a book while mentally ticking off how many pages we have until one of them is abducted, shot, suffocated, drowned, diseased - oh the list goes on. It's like there is a how-to-unite-your-couple-guide somewhere detailing the exact degree of peril needed to trigger emotional response. Adding to the frustration is knowing the emotional catharsis could have been provided by the events already underway. The Duke Is Mine felt like channel surfing between Masterpiece Theater, Comedy Central, and Lifetime Docudramas. Someone needed to grab the remote and make a decision.

Review: The Best Of Archie Comics by Various

2011-12-14T13:44:00.000-05:00

I'm going to suggest this one as a stocking stuffer. If you're American, you're already very familiar with Archie and his eternal triangle of Betty and Veronica. If you're not, consider Archie our TinTin. (Yes, yours is better, I know.) Generations of American kids have grown up reading Archie and he has reflected a fairly conservative view of American culture back at them. From Josie and the Pussycats to Sabrina the Witch, Archie has introduced a number of long lived franchises. (Right down to the novelty single.)

Coming in at $10 USD this paperback is a great introduction for a tween reader or a trip down memory lane for an older one. While the curation of the volume is excellent, everyone who reads it will feel something was left out. (I'm a Jughead fan, myself.) From showing the limitations of the early gags (how many times can Archie give Veronica poison ivy?) to the weird soapy feel of it's current titles (Our abusive boyfriend Moose in anger management?) this paperback offers something for almost anyone on a gift list. Too often these retrospectives come as highly expensive hardcovers with their own slipcased and number collectibility conceit. The Best of Archie Comics is a thick pulp paperback perfect for folding in half under your bed. (Maybe I'd be rich if I'd carefully preserved all the Pep Comics I acquired in my youth. Instead I read them to shreds. I think Archie would want it that way.)

Review: Winning The Wallflower by Eloisa James

2011-12-13T15:06:00.000-05:00

Lately I have enjoyed James' novellas more than her longer format books. Winning the Wallflower continues this trend. At the current selling rate of 99 cents, this short might be underpriced. It's a great value. Some readers may wish for a longer story as the file included long excerpts from other books. I'm a strong believer that the value of a story isn't in how long you take to tell it but how engaged the reader is in the telling. I was completely invested in Cyrus and Lucy.

Lucy is a wallflower through choice and circumstance. As a tall heroine when the fashion is for the petite, she has some self esteem issues. Adding to that, she lacks wealth. While her parents would prefer to marry her to someone of higher status, her father accepts the offer that comes his way. With her eyes on her shoes, Cyrus Ravensthorpe seems like more than Lucy could have hoped for. Attractive, charming, and slightly scandalous (not in his person, but in his parents) Cyrus is using his money and charm to ease their way back into society. A well placed bride is a necessary step, with Lucy being the most attractively bred. An unexpected windfall makes Lucy's mother rethink the betrothal. Lucy isn't so sure. Once she raises her eyes from the floor, Lucy realizes that while Cyrus answered most of her hopes, he didn't fulfill any of her dreams. As her confidence increases others look at her differently, especially Cyrus. Freed from the clever conceits of the upcoming release The Duke Is Mine, James writes to her strengths. Keeping her plot tightly centered on two people looking at each other with new eyes she delivers an excellent romantic tale. Absolutely worth the time, brief as it may be.

Review: Tina's Mouth by Keshni Kashyap and Mari Araki

2011-12-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a pre-order as a gift. I think (if the release date is close enough to the holiday) that it extends things. It creates a little epilogue to the season. Tina's Mouth is being released (or re-released?) on January 3rd, so that's great timing. Or terrible timing if everyone is in their post holiday belt tightening phase. Either way, I almost passed up an advance copy of this book because of the marketing. (I'm glad I reconsidered.) Remember a few weeks ago when I was joking that any graphic novel written by a non-caucasion gets compared to Persepolis? Yes. That joke isn't funny anymore. As a bonus, the main character here is American, so they also throw American Born Chinese out as a reference. I totally missed a career in marketing.

If You Like Indian Food, You Will Love Tina's Mouth! Or perhaps Look Out Bollywood! Tina Is In Town! Maybe even Like Maus, But Without The Genocide! It's so hard to choose. How do you market a graphic novel without highlighting that it is by a non-caucasian and that other non-caucasions have written successful books too? I mean, you could focus on the story but that's just crazy. Who wants to read a coming of age story about a young teen girl caught between societal expectations and her own emerging sense of self?

Oh.

Everyone does?

Maybe marketing wasn't for me after all. Good thing I took this high paying blog job. Moving on - Tina's Mouth is the tale of a young teen who is assigned the task of keeping an existential journal. I was a young teen once, and I was really into existential texts. I think there is a certain kind of girl who runs from Glamour into the waiting arms of Camus and Sartre. Both ask What Kind of Girl Are You? but only one includes a handy picture guide to self hatred. Setting aside the conceit that Tina is writing to a dead philosopher, this is a classic tale. Tina has lost her best friend, she isn't sure she fits in, everyone seems really into boys and who is she going to be, anyway? Examining the rise (and fall) of her high achieving siblings, Tina takes steps toward her own self definition by becoming engaged in school activities. This leads her to new people and new experiences.

While depictions of drug use, booze and (off camera) teen sex might freak a few parents out, let's be real about what our kids are exposed to. (I can tell you right now which tweens of my acquaintance will be flying like kites very soon.) Tina suffers some self induced and externally induced humiliations without turning them onto herself. It is not her fault her first kiss has been co-opted into a school sanctioned assault. Tina stands up for herself and her personal boundaries. Tina takes very identifiable teen experiences and uses them as the building blocks for her eventual self discovery. It's easy to tell kids to be true to themselves, it's harder to show them how to figure out who they are. Tina is a great role model and a great read for tween to twenties.

Review: Unraveled by Courtney Milan

2011-12-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

You know, I could try and review Courtney Milan's Unraveled. Who would I be kidding? We all know I have been teetering on the edge of full on fawning for this author. I have now fallen completely over the edge. Is it a perfect book? Probably not. Is it an exceptionally excellent book featuring the epic romantic hero Smite? Yes. Yes it is. It's also $3.99 and what you should be reading instead of a review about it.

I swear I will get back to real reviewing tomorrow. Honestly. In the meantime, please appreciate my charter membership in the fan club. (Smite is mine, bitches. Mine.)

Spending Your Money: Yanni Cheese by Karoun

2011-12-09T12:13:00.001-05:00

Brazilian Beach Cheese, a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

Technically, this is neither Brazilian Beach cheese nor Karoun's Yanni brand Grilling Cheese. The photo was taken at Lollapalooza so it is actually Brunkow Cheese out of Wisconsin. Brunkow isn't available near me but grilling cheese changed my life. Seriously. If you are thinking about giving someone a holiday basket with odd culinary delights, please get them some grilling cheese. It's easy to find the sheep's milk based Halloumi, but I find that too salty. The cow milk based Yanni (and Brunkow, if you're lucky) is amazing. This cheese cooks like a meat. Put your grill on medium, soak the cold cheese for a few minutes in your choice of spices (I like olive oil, red peppers and garlic) grill for a few minutes, die and go to Heaven. (It's ok, Heaven can totally wait. They will just kick you back when you finish chewing.) Be sure and tell your lucky recipient how to prepare it, because this would be a waste if sliced and put on crackers. Thank me later, I have to go grill some and get back to my book.

Here A Duke, There A Duke, Everywhere A Duke, Duke...

2011-12-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

Snow White's First Clue, a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

I am on Duke Overload. I closed the final page on Eloisa James Winning The Wallflower and thought if I see one more Duke, even Mr. Nukem, I would scream. I realize that the Duke has become the go to guy for Romanceland, he is the Greek Billionaire Tycoon of UK set novels. (Look what's happened to the Greek economy. We are experiencing an epic ducal bubble.) Why is The Duke currently so prevalent? Is it an ultimate power grab? I don't understand it. Why would our heroine want to be a Duchess? Wouldn't she know some seriously unhappy women already holding that title? A wise heroine only needs to consider the Devonshire family tree to know that a satisfying life is not a Duke away. Now our heroines are choosing between multiple Dukes.

It rather makes my head hurt.

The Duke is a creature of entitlement and power. He has wide ranging responsibility and has been raised in an isolated chamber. His world view is one of insular concerns and privileged assumptions. Even when our Duke is carefully grown outside the petri dish of his breeding and catapulted to the higher realm, his concerns are not our concerns. When I read about someone's patrician features or evidence of nobility hidden beneath the dirt of their lowered circumstances I wonder what our problem is.

Do you not know any rich people?

I know a great number of them. For every absolutely wonderful person there are a thousand more. Maybe two thousand. Conversations among the socially concerned and wealthy in America are enough to make you stick a fork in your brain. The deep divide between worthy people and unworthy people is a thin veneer on the ingrained class and racial biases of many of the elite classes. When all you have is knowing you are better than someone else, you say stupid things (like Newt Gingrich's epic assumption that poor children have no work ethic). When you tell me your hero is a Duke I see Newt, I see Trump. When her refined breeding cannot be denied, I see Paris Hilton or Ivanka. (Actually, Ivanka looks she'd be fun to spend an evening with. That said, I don't see her leading a rally against the anti-semetic clubs of the Palm Beaches.) Romanceland is full of compassionate conservatives. I just don't buy it because I know them. Everything changes when it goes from the abstract to the concrete, from giving the Haitian maid a bonus to your son marrying her.

Romance used to examine class with a little less awe. Maybe it still does and I've had a bad run. I do know I have read books this year with the heroine picking coins out of mud (still with her delicate bones speaking to her better beginnings) and starving brothers and desperate times. It just seems the noise of eugenics and class is getting louder. There's a passage in an upcoming book where the hero muses he can't be understood. No one of his current class can comprehend where he came from and no one of his former class could comfortably walk in his current one. Why then are we so eager to embrace the highest most exclusionary class of all? I don't think birth equates worth or wealth opportunity. Too much wealth is toxic. Too little is toxic.

Give me a Magistrate over a Duke.

Promotion: Agony / Ecstasy edited by Jane Litte

2011-12-07T14:58:00.000-05:00

This is largely a comment free blog. Most people who have something to say do so via Twitter or email. I'm completely fine with that. Low comment ratio equals low spam attraction and an absolute dearth of trolls. (Not that I am in any way troll-phobic. While none of my best friends are trolls, there are members of my family who identify as troll-curious.) On the one hand, I enjoy the low profile way to express longer opinions. On the other hand, I don't hold giveaways. It's a quandry. Especially with the release of Jane Litte's Agony / Ecstasy collection.

I enjoy Dear Author and I know Jane worked hard on this anthology. I'd buy it and review it, but I don't care for erotica (as we know) and I really don't care for BSDM. I'd hold a giveaway for it, but the same applies. So what to do? I do know this blog gets read, I see the traffic and I know what brings you by to see what I'm thinking about. I could pose a clever question like "Is this a book for you? Tell me why!" The problem is that you would and then I'd know. I really don't want to know. If I was interested in your erotic preferences I'd be sleeping with you. (No easy solution, I know.) If I solicited a guest review, I'd have to read it. The obvious answer is just to walk away from the entire thing.

Where is the ecstasy in that? The agony may be clear, but the ecstasy is lacking. Here is my solution. I will give an electronic copy of Agony / Ecstasy to someone who is not you. Or someone who is you. Either way. You're going to have to comment and I am going to have to read comments. (There's no way for us to get around that.) I'm going to run the contest for one week. I will pick one random winner and one winner who made me laugh. If you're the same person (or there is only one comment) you can choose the second winner. Random enough? I think so. Well then. If you're interested in the hybrid of me having comments (agony) and you getting free stuff (ecstasy) tell me why this book should be sent to the person you'd like it sent to. Clever promotion idea? Sad sob story? Entertain me and Jane Litte's collection will entertain you. (Or not. It's kind of what puts the Dom in random.)

Review: The Wild Marquis by Miranda Neville

2011-12-06T14:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I like a publishing house and I can't recall if I like a particular author in that house so I will just buy their books anyway. Sometimes I like a particular blogger so I will try an author she seems crazy about. Miranda Neville as a perfect blend of both. I would have automatically purchased several of her books if Agency Pricing hadn't kicked in and made me seriously reconsider how I was spending my book dollars. (My Avon purchases are down about 80%, just to name one publisher.) After some consideration I decided this was the Miranda Neville book most likely to appeal to me. (Although I bought this at full agency, Avon is currently running a sale. The book may be as low as $2.99, check your vendors.)

I'm not a Miranda Neville fan. That's okay. It's good to know things about yourself and post Agency Pricing it's good to know I don't have four or five of her books TBR'd on my shelf. I can see why people are raving about her so I'll break down what did and didn't work for me. In The Wild Marquis she brings together two damaged people from (seemingly) different classes. The Marquis has been couch surfing since his deranged father threw him out. With his father dead, he has (for some sort of martyr reason) continued his estrangement from his sister and equally deranged mother. Oh, and everyone else in his family. On the other side, Juliana is trying to make a go of her book business after the murder of her husband. Juliana collects books for rarity, not content. Their world's collide when Cain decides he has to restore a lost book to the family library. (Just go with it.) Soon they are immersed in the world of auctions and antiquities and accidentally solving her husband's murder.

Juliana is a weird hybrid. Raised mostly in seclusion (In fact, both of them spend way too much time giving noble motives to their absolutely horrible families. It's a subtext of the story that neither can see their own family flaws, just the others.) then marrying into the middle class, Juliana has somehow adopted the upper classes morals but the middle classes inferiority complex. I wasn't sure exactly who she was. Juliana reminded me of this girl I knew when I was a teen who would try to seduce men by fondling the stick shift of her car and licking her lips while giggling. (Pretty much all you have to do to seduce a willing guy is say "Hey, let's have sex now.") Unlike that girl, Juliana isn't sure if she wants to follow through. She wants to have casual sex with Cain, but not be his mistress. She wants to be free from promises, but have his fidelity. Juliana is all about the mixed message. She also deliberately sets out to sabotage a client for Cain's benefit, while holding her professional integrity tightly. I didn't get her at all.

Cain, on the other hand, has had some horrible accusations made against him by his father the nutjob. Since everyone believes he's morally bankrupt, he moves into a brothel and makes his life work the care and feeding of old hookers. (A decent way to spend your life.) He also has a weird grey area where he has a long term mistress with sons - she dies and the sons are raised by her friend (who becomes his housekeeper) until they are old enough to work, and thereafter they become his employees. It wasn't a greying of class areas so much as a complete confusion of them. Suddenly, through Juliana, Cain discovers that he really likes collecting books. I don't understand why. Both of them have come to book collecting in a harmful manner, both have the right to have negative associations with book collecting. Yet both of them decide the book is the thing.

I don't have any problem with the plot, resolution, or pacing of the story. All of my concerns with The Wild Marquis involve characterization. I spent too much time asking why characters were doing (or not doing) things and too little just going along for the ride. As an example, in one scene Juliana falls over trying to insert a birth control sponge. Why? Who did she ask about birth control? If it was her husband, why isn't she proficient in it's use? If it was after her husband, how did she come by the information? Did she read it in a book? She's already established that she is pretty ignorant of the erotic market. There were too many moments in The Wild Marquis like this. I'm not a reader who deals well with "because they did" unless the story is yanking me along too fast to examine it.

What did work for me was the skill of setting. Neville is great with place and time, she sets up original components in an old frame. Her plots are obviously considered, her characters are fairly diverse. If you don't roll your eyes at a heroine stroking a book jacket and cooing about how soft and slick it is, her sex scenes are in line with modern books. I feel like Miranda Neville could write a book to really grab me but I didn't walk away from The Wild Marquis wanting to know more about anyone in it.

Review: Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived In That House by Meghan Daum

2011-12-04T11:19:00.000-05:00

I've had this one kicking around for awhile. I share the same disease as Meghan Daum, that of house envy. (There is nothing wrong with my home.) Since I was a child I've looked at other houses and thought "If I lived there I would be happier." It's led me to move across the country, across town, down the street. At this moment I can tell you three places I'd rather live and the prices on each, but I won't be moving again. (It's a property tax thing, I can't afford to move even if I downsized.) I understood what Daum's book would be about just from the title. So why didn't I finish it in a timely manner?

Life would be perfect if this was a slightly different book. While I totally identified with both her wanderlust and her desire to invent herself into a person she isn't, there wasn't much past that point to hold me. I read the first third quickly, then set the book down for months. Something brought it to mind and I sought it out again only to stop before finishing it. Today, while going through some notes, I realized I'd never completed the book and found it, bookmark intact. I had stopped six pages from the end. That's not a great sign. While I enjoyed the time I spent with Meghan, we weren't meant to be together.

It's interesting, there was a lot of buzz for the hardcover release (which had what I think was a terrible cover) and not as much for the greatly (visually) improved paperback. The Kindle version uses the hardcover image. In classic Agency fashion, the going rate (if not list price) for the paperback is lower than the Kindle version. (Way to kill those impulse buys, guys!) So perhaps my preference in cover design is completely off the market. Granted, the paperback cover is a little Mod, a little Retro, but the original cover was very Christian Inspiration to me, which the the book could not be further from. I wonder how the book feels? Does it cover shop and think it's sales would be everything if it only had a gatefold?

Review: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling

2011-12-02T11:03:00.000-05:00

This book was sold by it's cover. I had no idea who Mindy Kaling was. I don't watch her show. (I'd heard conversation about Matt & Ben but assumed it was a Tony & Tina's Wedding type thing.) This is a book selling cover. Love the tones, love the pose, love the title, love the composition. (Great design, cover dude. Take a victory jog.)

I found I loved this book. Mindy Kaling is walking a comedy tightrope here - self deprecating without being self pitying, self aggrandizing without coming across as overbold. She's trying too hard in all the right ways. There's a bit of the charmed life to Mindy, but she knows it. There's a lot of the serious work ethic to Mindy and she knows that too, even as she downplays it. A slacker doesn't finish and produce a two woman play much less a serious college degree.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? is part memoir, part humor, part celebrity vanity project but it is completely enjoyable. This is up there with David Niven's Hollywood books. She's not burning any bridges or settling any scores, she's just telling you a few amusing stories over drinks in a stylish lounge. Kaling's stories are so compelling that one drove me to Google. After reading about a People photo shoot (in a land where a size 8 is anything but very slender) I had to see the photo that resulted. If I liked the book with no investment in her career, then this would be a home run gift for fans of The Office: American Edition. (I seem to be reading quite a few Crown Archtype books lately. Nice job, marketing and acquisition. Get your sneakers out too.)

Review: Once Upon A Winter's Eve by Tessa Dare

2011-11-30T13:12:00.000-05:00

Although I didn't really love it, I happily recommend Once Upon A Winter's Eve. Tessa Dare is an author I keep having suggested to me. Like Miranda Neville, once I sampled her I realized she wasn't for me. Readers who love Tessa Dare absolutely adore her and I certainly see why. This short and currently crazy cheap novella shows off her strengths. (Avon is publishing her Spindle Cove series but the novella is from Samhain.) Serving more as an introduction to her Spindle Cove concept than an isolated tale, Dare is obviously working on a world populated by unconventional heroines and quirky side characters. (This is not my row so I rarely hoe it.)

Through the eyes of Violet Winterbottom (really) we view the residents of Spindle Cove. In short time we meet a pair of twins (one an amputee) a female medic, a family running a general store despite their useless and abusive father, a famous arms manufacturer and, well, other people. (We meet a lot of people.) We also learn about Spindle Cove. Believed from the outside to be a place for ruined girls to knit cat covers, it's actually a female empowerment camp. Or something. It's very small town feisty, our Spindle Cove. If you like that sort of thing you will really like it. If you don't, you'll appreciate the care she's taken for consistency of character and place. As a short, Once Upon A Winter's Eve didn't totally work for me. I appreciated it far more than I enjoyed it, but that's not to it's detriment. This is an excellent way to sample Tessa Dare without ponying up the Agency entry fee.

Books I Cast Aside: Erik Larson And David King

2011-11-29T12:31:00.000-05:00

I have read far too many WW2 books. I know about Hitler's dog, Hitler's niece, Churchill's second cousin twice removed and the American position on all of it. I've read things I can never remove from my brain (blocked the title out, white cover, Ukraine, lost village memoir, highly recommended except for ever sleeping again) and things that made me roll my eyes. I get obsessive about certain time periods and WW2 appears to be one. It probably has something to do with the epic death toll on all sides of my family. Anyway. I'm a sucker for a WW2 book. I'm also a sucker for books that contrast different realities. Erik Larson set the benchmark for this style of non-fiction with The Devil In The White City. Now I wish he hadn't.

Too many books since then seem to be walking the same ground in a different field. I currently have a ten book nonfiction backlog due to the bottleneck created by two such books. Despite both of them dealing with WW2, I am moving on. They've kept me from other books for far too long. David King's Death In The City of Light would be an exceptional book if he edited half of it out. It's daily life in occupied France, it's a serial killer preying on desperate Jewish refugees, it's a police procedural, it's an exhaustive look at an investigation. Unfortunately it's also about Camus, Sartre, Picasso and their crowd. It's just too much. Our party people add nothing to the narrative and it's exhaustive detail is not well served by the breaks the reader takes to discover Simone was moody. I want to finish this book so much that I just started skipping all the sections with the artists. It was still overloaded. King has a fantastic book in here, but it's not the one that went to press. People with more patience for info dumps and backtracking expository will adore it. I'm shelving it for that rainy day where excessive ruminations appeal.

The other log in my book jam is Erik Larson himself. A look at the society and diplomacy around pre Pearl Harbor Germany? Well hell yea! Except it's boring. Don't get the wrong, the political stuff is interesting, the man on the street stuff is interesting, but the subtext of Martha Dodd is troubling. Every attempt is made to portray her fairly and sympathetically. Which is sort of a problem. She would be all over TMZ if she were alive today. A woman who parties with the German government, considers dating Hitler and goes on to end her days as an expatriate? Wanted in America for spying on behalf of the Soviets, not wanted by the Soviets, she let her high ideals (such as they were) lead her to a fairly unpleasant life. Judgement was never Martha's strong suit be it politics or men. If I had approached this book as a look at Martha, perhaps I would enjoy it more. If I hadn't tried to read it at the same time as Death In The City of Light I might be raving about it now. It too is being shelved for a rainy day where I feel more tolerant of her foibles, less annoyed at her willful indulgences. After all, this is probably seconds away from becoming a Tom Hanks film.

Review: A Midsummer Night's Sin by Kasey Michaels

2011-11-28T10:10:00.000-05:00

Meet Puck. (He's not named after the really appalling MTV Real World character, but that guy pretty much ruined my ability to take anyone named Puck seriously as a romantic lead.) His mom has a Shakespeare jones and his parent's aren't married (allegedly, I have my doubts) because his aunt had Down's syndrome so his dad married her instead. So Puck has been running about being charming in Paris when he decides to return home and be charming in England. That was sort of interesting. Puck mixes blackmail into his charm under the they-deserve-it doctrine. Sadly, Puck is only charming for a few pages. His debut into London Society is also his swan song.

Puck converts from charmingly cold hearted party animal into caring righter of wrongs. at the party he meets first time bad girl Regina and discovers her cousin has been abducted. It's pretty obvious by who. And why. And, of course, it's one of those things that only really upsets our wealthy leads when it's happening to white folk. We're going to have to go with a spoiler here - the kidnapped cousin may or may not have fallen afoul of white slavers. It happens here! In London! To white people! Yes, everyone is most surprised. And it happens without care or notice to poor people! Who'da thunk? Of course the slaver is the baddest of the bad, the most ickiest dude, of course he's the slaver, how could they not have seen, etc? Here's the thing. While there is nothing good about slavery, being outraged over the white kind but not the black kind (our Puck nobly tries to rescue a white woman that completely forgets about the trade in general) doesn't read well. Let's give our characters that they only consider white slavery the really bad kind. Why is the slavery guy a horrible guy? Why wouldn't he just be a guy for profit who doesn't share their outrage at transferring slavery to white guys? (It's even pointed out that white slaves are less profitable than black ones unless they can be used for fresh virginal nookie). Look, Kasey Michaels does a decent job with it, I'm not faulting her for trying to tackle it in a realistic way or any of that. I'm just saying that omgz-he-is-so-bad slaver boy is an easy stereotype when her own characters tacitly condone non-caucausian slavery. Ugh. Let's move on from this comma overload.

So. Regina. Missing cousin, drunken mom, mixed family heritage (in the money sense not the color sense) meets Puck, party boy with a moody older brother and unmarried parents. They try to find her cousin, they have a fair amount of sex, they move on with their lives. All in all, it was better than Beau's story and I'm going to read Jack's but I wouldn't stay up late on the night I bought it. Or maybe I would. It's better than the review implies, I just can't get past the mixed slavery messages going on. If Michaels hadn't included the flashback to Puck's youth, I think I would have liked it much more than I did.

Review: A Lady's Lesson In Scandal by Meredith Duran

2011-11-25T15:57:00.000-05:00

Meredith Duran is an interesting writer. She strikes me as a cross between Judith Ivory and Mary Balogh. Like Balogh, her books are often character studies where little happens externally. Like Ivory, her characters are quite realistic. In A Lady's Lesson In Scandal a lost child is recovered and given the Pygmalion treatment. But her childhood in poverty has made her stronger than the hero, not weaker. Simon has been raised in financial comfort but emotional poverty. As a result, he has found himself with few survival skills outside of his charm. A classic example of meeting the very low bar set for him, Simon keeps his depth hidden. Nell's hard earned need to read people before they strike out allows her to see there is something beneath his surface charm.

I'm surprised to find I have very little to say about Nell and Simon. I very much enjoyed their story. It's definitely on my short list for best books I read this year. (Maybe it's the broken ankle?) The issue of class was executed very well, as Simon's revulsion gives way to a realization of his own petty biases. Nell's anger at her change in circumstance, her refusal to relax her guard and her inability to refute her origins all ring true as well. A Lady's Lesson In Scandal is filled with the sort of small moments that make a character more than a momentary diversion. Nell absolutely found her way into my heart and if she wants Simon, she should have him. I hope there is a sequel in the works. At the book's close we are left with more questions than answers about Nell's separation from her family. It reads like a complete story, but one that leaves the reader wishing it had a few more chapters. If you missed this when it came out, hunt it down. It was absolutely worth the time.

Review: The Other Guy's Bride by Connie Brockway

2011-11-23T09:48:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure why both iterations of this cover have a dark haired heroine when she's clearly described as blonde. She's blonde enough to turn her hair red with henna, so the double brunette action doesn't really work. I'm willing to give them her height on the second cover (she's tall, with a big nose) since the dress is pretty sweet. Anyway, on to the content. The Other Guy's Bride just misses epic status. It's a good, possibly great, but it's not a book of the year and it should be. It could have been. It's annoying that it isn't. (Ok, it probably will be for some readers.) You should buy it, it's decently priced and a great Indiana Jones-esque adventure tale. Except when it isn't. Let's jump the big hurdles first, ok?

Haji gave me great hope. A non white character who isn't following someone around out of servile gratitude, a character that others acknowledge faces racism, a character presented in exactly the same manner as a white character... until the end. In a move that absolutely killed me there is a last chapter push for Haji to give up the race card. Yes folks, the problem isn't xenophobic colonialist white folk operating from a place of privilege, it's Haji being oversensitive. Just no. No, no, no. No. I will give Haji being unable to accept his place in the heroine's family, I will give Haji making mistakes as a child from his own assumptions, I will NOT give Haji needing only to stop looking for racial slights where none exist. Just no. Not today and especially not 100 years ago. Mildred can be racist, it's okay. Mildred is marrying a racist, therefore she is unlikely to be socially progressive.

My next stumbling block involves our power couple, Gin and Jim. I don't know about you, but if I have been kidnapped by slavers and trudged through the desert for four days while facing the continual threat of rape, all I can think about is losing my virginity to the first white man that shows up. And really, if I have been tracking my kidnapped love interest waiting for a chance to save her I am absolutely not going to wait one second more for sex. No need to put getting away above getting it on! No villain ever escaped binding ropes nor had their compatriots unexpectedly return! Baby, it's nookie time. We can run afterward. (This threw me completely out of the story. We went from epic read to wtf read in a few pages.)

The final stumbling block is a lack of clarity for events. Jim lays his history out as such - his mother died when he was four and his father remarried. That wife died in childbirth. His father died when he was fourteen and his grandmother brought him to meet his ten year old brother who was the only bright spot in his subsequent life. Later in the book his brother (Jock) talks about how Jim acted around Jock's mother. Wait, isn't Jock's mother dead? Did she die in childbirth after Jim's father died? Did she remarry? How did Jim have time to meet her if it was his father's child? If she did remarry, why did she still live with Jock? Where is Jock's stepfather? (I think that Brockway forgot she'd killed off the stepmother.)

There's also a completely unneeded secondary villain who seems to serve no purpose other than beating Jim up. He comes and goes but seems like an abandoned subplot or a shoe that never really drops. He's set in place to cause mayhem, but the mayhem doesn't materialize. It's a shame, he might have been a more interesting foil for drama than the slavers but it's a minor thing. Let's get back to the big things. Gin, our heroine, is completely believable. She's a trouble magnet, the accident prone girl in a family of adventurers, the romantic in the midst of scholars. Having been sent away for her own protection she's spent her life trying to live her parent's dream in a quest to prove herself worthy of her last name. Gin is a woman so busy trying to please others that she's forgotten how to please herself. She's also not small, dainty or delicate of feature. Gin is a powerful woman chasing the wrong dreams.

Jim isn't chasing any dreams at all. He starts the book as a complete wimp. He's run away from his inheritance, he's run away from his disapproving family, he's run away from romantic rejection, he is due for a complete reinvention of himself. The man he becomes is an opportunistic mercenary who goes where the highest bidder beckons. He's devoid of dreams, devoid of ties and content enough with his martyrdom to passively accept the hand his grandmother played when he was young and stupid. He's cut from the "better off without me" cloth. He's floating through life waiting for it to end, while fighting to stay alive. Like Gin, he has no idea what he really wants. This is a great dynamic. There are strong secondary characters. The book largely dodges many colonialist pitfalls (although there are also lazy Nigerians who take advantage of situations) and spreads it's character flaws to all colors. The racist white Colonel is mostly overworked and understaffed, the frightened troops are burnt out and ready for home. Everyone in this book is operating from a place of real conflict and realistic motivations. If Gin and Jim were just a bit older, a bit wiser, this would have been an epic read. As they stand, it's a very good one.

Review: Snag Films Meets Who Is Harry Nilsson

2011-11-22T14:30:00.001-05:00

Ozy and I have been spending way too much time together lately. I was tired of everything he had to offer. I was sick of his games, I'd heard most of his stories and didn't care to hear the others. We needed something to take the edge off. Luckily, I found SnagFilms. Sometimes you just need a new app and SnagFilms was free. After a very short commercial for Goldman Sachs (what?) I was able to watch a film that's been on my Guess I Should Watch That Since People Keep Mentioning It list. I'd intended to watch Hype! but Who Is Harry Nilsson (And Why Is Everybody Talkin' About Him?) popped up. Reminded of it's existence I decided to give it a go.

Suppose Christopher Guest decided to make a new film and it was inspired by a late night viewing of Forest Gump. At first it seems like a complete put on. Here's the critical piece of information you need to understand the rest of this. I had never hear of Harry Nilsson in my life. Wait, you need two pieces of information. I have spent my life as an avid fan of 60's and 70's music, right down to Leo Sayer. I am conversant with Popsicle Toes and Put The Bone In. Plus punk. And funk. Also, disco and prog. I get around. So. This guy comes on who looks vaguely Monty Python meets Late Night Local TV and he segues into a clip of Dustin Hoffman sadly saying that some guy named Harry Nilsson had died. A person in the audience shouts something - maybe it's no - but it means he expects his audience to know who this dude is. Dustin helpfully tells me it's the guy who sang Midnight Cowboy's theme song. Got it. Ok, some session musician? Cool. Wait, he wrote One Is The Loneliest Number? Is that a picture of him with The Beatles? John Lennon is saying the guy is his favorite artist? What? Right down to having Eric Idle chatting after some guy with so much Botox that only his tongue moves when he laughs, this thing was playing like a fake. Except it wasn't.

I have spent decades in record shops, in flea markets, in garage sales, in people's parents basements. I have touched albums people haven't thought about since they were released and I've never come across Harry Nilsson? This tells me two things. The first is that obviously Nilsson lovers hoard the albums like jealous lovers. The second is that I am ignorant. Ignorant as the day is long and twice as uneducated. After I accepted that this story wasn't fiction and none of these pictures were photoshop, I set about understanding where he fits into the musical landscape. The answer was everywhere. In Nilsson's erratic catalog I heard influence being handed off to artists as diverse as Tom Petty and Bruno Mars. Even Cee-Lo has either heard this stuff or heard something from someone who has. Parts of it are as godawful as any 70's creation and parts of it could be recorded tomorrow. Yoko Ono and May Pang both eulogize Harry. (That takes a minute to process all by itself.)

The documentary is wonderfully understated. Harry Nilsson was a train wreck. A very slow moving one. Like Lennon, he abandoned one child only to become Father Of The Year for the next. Like Lennon, he's got an ex wife who sees him as deeply flawed and damaged and a widow who reveres him. Like Lennon, he has a great cause in his life and is willing to sacrifice parts of his career to it's pursuit. Like Lennon, he hangs out with Beatles. He is like the slightly kinder, much softer version of his friend. Complete with deserting a child as he was deserted and never really getting that he's done that. Cuddly Toy may not be a Mr. Pindommy's Dilemma, but the Nilsson catalog proves to be both utterly familiar and bizarrely new. Alternating between "He wrote that?" and "He wrote THAT?" I was amazed. I think Nilsson was far less clever than the film presents - there is an element of dogged work ethic that erodes the narrative of simple genius. It makes it all the more impressive.

Review: Everybody Loves Our Town by Mark Yarm

2011-11-19T17:52:00.001-05:00

Of course it's Kurt. It's still a great cover. Kurt turning away from the adulation he has sought says everything you need to say about him. Even the audience seems uncertain about their evening. Are we enjoying ourselves? Is it okay to enjoy ourselves?

Once, quite a few years ago, I was sitting in a bar attached to a small nightclub waiting for a show to start. I can't remember who was playing. After a while, it blurs together like a merry-go-round with a few bright moments standing out. So we're waiting for this band and a big screen is playing music videos. (It's what they did, once upon a time.) I'm in Connecticut with a girl from Indiana. I don't know why she's there. She hates concerts, music and those who play instruments. (I know she arrived suddenly and in some emotional distress so I assume I already had the tickets and just took her along instead of leaving her in my apartment with my razor blades. Go with it.) There we are, two friends. A Blind Melon video comes on and we both sigh. I say (truthfully) that I saw Hoon play shortly before he died and it's a damn shame. She says she didn't know I was a fan of Shannon Hoon. She wishes she'd known. We could have gotten together.

At this point I have known this girl close to a decade but we don't discuss music. She tells me she and Shannon grew up together. The Very Bad Things that happened in her life happened while she was in that scene. (None of it involved him.) Her brother worked for Axl Rose's parents. She was in the center of a number of music circles and I had known her for years without knowing a thing about it. The rest of the evening was a fascinating conversation we never repeated. None of it mattered to her. These were the people she knew and the things they did. It was exactly the same as the people I know and the things they've done. Why would I mention any of it? Who cares?

This is the brilliance of an oral history, when well done. Everybody Loves Our Town is exceptionally well done. If you've read this far and wondered why I told you about one night in a bar in the 90's, then it won't be the book for you. If you're wondering what she said to me, what I said to her, you will adore Everybody Loves Our Town as much as I did. This is the definitive history of a time and a place that affected a generation of young adults. (Stuck in a small town after growing up in a big city, it was Andrew Wood's voice that reminded me escape was possible. He was already dead.) Hearing the participants tell their story in all it's overlapping contradictory nature is like that bar conversation in the 90's. Free from music theory, free from obvious editorial direction, Mark Yarm lets the reader sit back and enjoy the conversation.

Starting when everyone is young and stupid (as we were all once) and moving through the Very Bad Things that always happen (when you go from young and stupid to slightly older and not much brighter) and then to the bright morning of After (where you realize you grew up somehow), Yarm tells the story of a specific scene with universal meaning. As close as you can come to a bar conversation with each of the participants, Yarm's oral history has all the power of Patti Smith's Just Kids. I hope it does just as well in the market. I recommend pairing this book with a basic knowledge of the Seattle sound and a viewing of Pearl Jam: Twenty. It will remind you your youth was never misspent, it was squandered on things you still love. (And if we're ever in a bar I might tell you my Kurt Cobain story, but I'm afraid the Shannon & Axl stuff isn't mine to reveal.)

Review: The Beginner's Guide To Rakes by Suzanne Enoch

2011-11-11T13:21:00.000-05:00

People are not happy with my Amazon review of this one, but I have to stand by it. Diane is bat-shit crazy. By any yardstick you care to use, she is dangerously unhinged. Oliver at first seems to be fairly balanced, if a walking STD but by the end of the book you see why these two crazy (and I do mean crazy) kids are together. I've seen a number of reviews focus on the title, completely ignoring the insanity contained within. Look, I like Suzanne Enoch but she's a roller coaster of an author. When she's good, she's very very good and when she's bad, well, Sweet Jesus. I got over the whole conflating I-95 with the turnpike thing in her West Palm Beach series, I got over half of the Adventurers Club, but I have no idea where we go from A Beginner's Guide To Rakes. Suzanne, it's not you but it is definitely, absolutely, positively Diane.

Ok, so let's spoil this one. There is no way to adequately represent how much Oliver needs a restraining order without doing so. When we meet Diane she is determined to open a gaming club. As a respectable young widow who lost everything to her dead husband's gaming ways, she has decided to turn the tables and become the house. Since her business partner has turned up dead, her solution is to blackmail a former lover (Oliver) into loaning her tens of thousands of dollars and training her (all female but not whores) staff so she can realize her dream. Forget the incredibly slender thread of blackmail she has. Forget that Oliver KNOWS she is a master forger. Just go with the fact that he will be blackmailed. Oliver knows she's a master forger because after her husband's death Diane forged all the non-entailed property deeds into her name. (Keep in mind, the rightful heir is the villain of this book. How DARE he want his family property after Diane suffered a bad marriage to his brother? All of that is hers!) Ok, so Crazy-pants Criminal is our heroine and Walking STD is our hero. (He's one of those guys who pulls out of one chick while thinking about banging another in a few minutes. How tedious of these women who want to be treated like actual beings instead of a vessel for his pleasure. How histrionic of them.)

Still with me?

So Diane has her all female gaming club in the renovated downstairs of her stolen home with her blackmailed ex-lover living upstairs. Diane hates Oliver. HATES him. (Dead bunnies in the bed hate. Shredded clothes dipped in her own blood hate. Crazy hate.) She hates him because after two great weeks in bed a few days after the death of her husband he left her. She carries a gun in her pocket, she is so angry. She checks drawers to make sure a gun is always at hand. She threatens to shoot him to get her money. A few days later after some flirty action, he kisses her and walks from the room. So she does what any bat-shit crazy heroine would do. She shoots him in the back. Which everyone treats as normal. Of course you would. Never mind infection, never mind lack of antibiotics, never mind that she is bat-shit crazy, who wouldn't shoot a guy after a kiss? Duh! It's not like it slows Oliver down. No infection, no disability in movement, no discomfort wearing his clothes - within two pages he is his old agile un-shot self. Now he checks the rooms for guns before dealing with her, so her staff keeps threatening to shoot him.

Soon Diane needs more money. When faced with a blackmailing bat-shit crazy gun-toting criminal who hates you, the obvious solution is to pay her to bang you. But not just bang you, Oliver has a whole romantic escapade planned. He left her high and dry after their two week fling because he was beginning to love her. Oliver, this isn't love, this is STOCKHOLM SYNDROME! Run, dude! Run fast and far!! Even worse, this book is sequel bait. We're going to meet more of the ladies in the gaming club and their psycho self justifying boss in later books. By the time Oliver breaks through her ceiling for sex (while the club is open, the hell?) I'd lost any concern for him either. Benchley, the rightful heir of the house is not the bad guy! Trying to get his property returned is not evil! Toward the end of the book Enoch seems to realize this and hastily makes Benchley a slimy gambler who blackmails our loving couple. It's a bit late. I can't even get into the society matrons demonstrating on the steps and being bought off with a charity version of Diane's successful Ladies Night, much less her tour of White's. I'm as much a fan of Romanceland as the next girl, no stickler for historical accuracy when a good tale is spun - but c'mon, son!

This book was one long WTF for me. It might be a brand killer, I have to sit and think about it for a time. Enoch and I, we had some good times together. We had some bad times together. But we've never had bat-shit crazy times before. I never want to read about Diane again, if this is the launch of a series I'm probably going to have to sit it out.

Review: The Black Hawk by Joanna Bourne

2011-11-06T14:26:00.000-05:00

That is a cover only it's mother could love, and she's lying. So much has gone wrong. From the colors to the fashion to the font and the hands - it's just a crying shame. I loved this book. I hate to see it go all ugly duckling in the packaging. First of all, our hero is not a Duke. He isn't the lost son of a Duke, the unexpected 15th cousin of a Duke left standing after an outbreak of the plague or a Duke impersonator. Our Hawker is a straight up street rat with no apologies about it. I don't understand the publishing fascination with bloodlines. Once you establish 'rich' I'm just as happy to have my fantasy tale happen without a Princess. Think about Paris Hilton for a moment. She's had all the advantages money and ducal connections can grant. Now think about her siblings. Or her parents. Right. We're done here. (I am sure all the Hiltons are perfectly lovely people, smart as whips every one.)

So back to Hawker. He's a spy of course, because all of Bourne's characters are in some fashion involved in the Napoleonic Wars. (In a good way!) It's easy to do the French Revolution wrong. We've all read the books. It's muddy, you meet Wellington, French Royalists are good, French Loyalists are bad, the English walk on water and everyone make a run for the Dover coast. (Sorry, I fell asleep for a second.) Bourne's world is a more complicated one reflecting the true nature of people. Hawker isn't sure why he's loyal to Britain, he just is. Owl, his enemy counterpart, believes as completely in France. The difference between Justine and most French Loyalists is that she never changes her mind. What she is fighting for is the right of self determination. She is not blinded by the failings of an individual leader, her focus is on the goal of freedom for her nation. It's easy to see why Hawker doesn't hold that against her.

Bourne has a downright Walt Disney (the man, not the logo) gift for setting an atmosphere. When her characters are in France, they're in France right down to the smell of bread in the air. When they're in a cramped enclosure, you'll throw the blanket off your feet to take the squirms off. While The Black Hawk is a story fans have been calling for after every one of Bourne's books, readers have met Owl before. In The Forbidden Rose she makes her first appearance in Hawker's life. That appearance (as well as other events from his life) are revisited seamlessly in The Black Hawk. Never feeling like a rehash, several events we already know from his life are illuminated as we discover the details of hers. As with all Bourne's books, not every detail is answered. Some things, as we discovered in earlier books, are meant for later. There is more than enough here to satisfy, as two people who never had childhoods eventually find the way to their futures.

Review: Marzi by Marzena Sowa & Sylvain Savoia

2011-11-04T21:23:00.000-04:00

This is one of my favorite graphic novels ever. I absolutely loved Marzi. With that said, let's get on to the complaining part of this review. I really don't understand what Vertigo is doing with this coloration. The military boots, the angry child, the bunny being ripped apart - this cover says Maus meets Poland. I expected the kid to spend time starving in a ditch, clubbed over the head by the military or something. Instead Marzi is a sunny (mostly) coming of age story filled with the tiny moments that define a child's life. I know a 7 year old that is reading it cover to cover and enjoying every second of it. Look at this alternate take. While the cover is still pretty combative, it's more inviting. This says Read Me, I Might Be Interesting. Vertigo's cover says Give To Unicef. Since Marzi never really spends any time with the military at all, I'm not sure what the point of having her surrounded by combat boots is. Yes, she grew up under communism, yes her father participated in the strikes, but this volume involves a lot of sunny days at the farm and laughs with her friends.

Savoia is a gifted graphic artist. Her ability to capture expression in spare lines is fantastic. Even in a black and white review version her art brings the story to a new level. While Sowa is telling her tale out of time (events don't happen in order) the art is consistent, allowing a reader to easily bridge the gaps. I know Marzi is going to get compared to Persepolis or Fun Home. This is lazy marketing. Marzi is closer to Yotsuba than it is to either of those works. (It's just like Fun Home, there is a lesbian involved! It's just like Persepolis, it's not in America!) Obviously, Marzi is not as lighthearted and absurdist as Yotsuba. I make the comparison to denigrate the other comparisons. It rings true. Early on there is a moment where Marzi complains of shopping for toilet paper. If you buy it, people will know you use it. People will be aware you have a toilet in your home! I know plenty of children who share this same sense of embarrassment. This is the real strength of Marzi - by taking the extraordinary events of her life (having to stand in line on toilet paper day) and mixing them into the universal experiences of many children, she makes it identifiable. This is a wonderful volume, and I hope more follow. Perhaps with happier covers.

Review: Until There Was You by Kristan Higgins

2011-10-31T11:04:00.000-04:00

Take a good look at the dog. Check out the expression, the tilt of the paw. Does that look like a dog who believes this couple is going to make it? I have to disagree with him. while Posey (What!) and Liam have some seriously screwed up relationship dynamics, both of them lack the self esteem needed to expect more. I didn't dislike Until There Was You. I enjoyed reading it. Unfortunately I never really liked Posey or Liam so it was hard to root for them together. I found aspects of their resolution wildly unrealistic, with other parts incredibly predictable. (So predictable that when one plot point appeared to have gone in a different direction I wanted to cheer for the author's good judgement. Luckily, I'd misplaced my pom-pom.)

Posey works at her family's kitschy German diner when she's not working at her thriving salvage business or dropping by her secret boyfriend's house. In a family full of tall buxom blonde beauties (except for her gay Vietnamese brother) Posey is a short, slender (if she doesn't eat every few minutes she will pass out) dark haired waif. Because she is not her cousin, Posey hides in the background and takes everything to heart. While she allegedly found her spine one sordid night in high school, Posey doesn't use it very often. Her dream man has always been Liam Murphy. Never mind that Liam refuses to use her preferred name, never mind that Liam never looked at her twice, never mind that Liam was an architect of her teenage downfall, Liam is the man for her. Because he is hot and he was nice to a kitten once. Really, that's enough.

Pity poor Liam. He could have been an interesting character. He is an overprotective father, a widower, a victim of PTSD and OCD with the self esteem of a gnat. Women fall in his path and offer to disrobe at his every glance. He met his dream girl in high school, married her, lost her, and has returned home to raise their child. Despite this golden girl dating him, marrying him and having his child, Liam secretly thinks she might not have loved him. Because he is unloveable. Liam is a bit of a black hole when it comes to emotional need. (That's a theme here, Posey's best friend has a disturbing dynamic with her own adopted son.)

So. The return of Liam and the recognition of Posey. Except it's more like the return of the Liam and the any-port-in-a-storm of Posey. Fleeing the aggressive attention of other women, Liam is attracted to Posey's pretense of disinterest while Posey is just grateful to have sex with him. Liam rarely opens up to her, almost never meets her needs and generally acts like a guy who might be on the spectrum. Posey loans her hateful cousin cash, keeps her secrets from the family, lays herself out like a doormat for anyone to wipe their feet on, and endears herself to Liam's kid. You can see why the dog has a headache. Still, I did like Until There Was You. Lacking in surprises it may be, but it's a great comfort read for a cold day. Nothing happens that can't be solved by five minutes of conversation. (I mean that sincerely, all problems in the novel are ultimately resolved that way.) Unrealistic construction projects are executed, adoption issues are breezily overcome, orphaned children move on readily. There is no baby in the final chapter, at least not for Posey and Liam. In fact, Posey is far more stable than some other Higgins heroines I've read and no one is required to give up their day jobs. If you overlook some flaws, there's a lot to enjoy here.

Missed Sale: Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing By Judy Blume

2011-10-26T21:36:00.000-04:00

This is a story of unavailability. I have probably purchased this book five times in my life, between my own childhood and the assigned reading needs of others in the family. I don't begrudge Blume her continued income from her work, she deserves it. So a sixth purchase wasn't the issue. In fact, the school loaned each child a copy of the book so if things had gone as planned, I wouldn't have needed to buy it at all.

When do things go as planned?

First, there was a scooter accident that left the kid assigned to read this book with two broken arms. Then there was a ridiculously mundane fall that left her parent with a broken leg. We needed an ebook and we needed it fast. The library only had an audiobook on offer. The teacher wasn't thrilled, but we were in negotiations. Unfortunately, the audiobook required a Windows computer to operate. After looking for the book on Kindle (no) or Sony Reader (no) or Nook (nuh-uh) a google search was performed for alternate vendors.

Guess how many "free" download options came up? You've got it. Over the weekend the child in question read a perfectly formatted (better than most I have purchased) copy of the assigned reading. The book was read on an iPad carefully propped up upon a pillow and pages were turned with the edge of a pinky. So why was I frustrated? I was frustrated because of the absurdity of the situation. Publishers are turning away income at a time they really need it. If an expertly formatted copy of the book can appear on "free" download sites, why can't it appear in stores?

Things Found In A 2nd Grader's Backpack

2011-10-24T20:13:00.000-04:00

a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

This seems an appropriate photo for a brief lapse in reviewing. Since the household currently has three broken bones for two people, there will be a short recess. I'll be back as soon as the Vicodin wears off - it shouldn't be long. I only filled half the prescription.

Retro Review: The Prize by Brenda Joyce

2011-10-19T13:00:00.000-04:00

God almighty I hated this book. It wasn't just my bitterness at the untimely end of the Francesca Cahill series, it was the blatant racism, the TSTL heroine and the right out of 1979 hero. There was just about nothing I liked going on. Don't believe me? Let's take a look back to October of 2004. (I'm here. It's okay. We can do this together.)

According to the enthusiastic foreword, Brenda Joyce has been convinced to return to writing the "kind of books her fans love" about times when "men were men". This requires that I be exceedingly bitter and retract everything I've said about Joyce growing into her talents. (If this new direction corrupts her Cahill novels I’m going to have to Take Action.) Not only is The Prize a step (way) back to her early days of heroines loving men who abuse them, it’s filled with pointless mayhem, bewildering character motivations and out and out racism.

The racism falls in the form of our heroine’s best, best, bestest friend, Tillie, the slave. (To my mind, this is always dangerous ground because the act of owning someone negates the open give and take of friendship, but I’m willing to allow for it.) Tillie’s husband is deeply concerned that the plantation is placed up for sale, and the slaves as well. Tillie is worried our heroine isn’t getting enough to eat at the expensive boarding school. (Tillie alternates between patois and proper speech, but she never does learn anything about birthing babies.) After our heroine COMPLETELY FORGETS the danger facing her best best friend Tillie for five long months, Tillie welcomes her back with open arms, concern for her well-being, and (by golly) a good meal. Later, when our heroine’s blatant idiocy has trapped them in a fire fight, with Tillie’s husband most likely dead, it’s our heroine who occupies Tillie's mind because that’s the kind of best friends they are. The kind where you have to protect this sheltered delusional nitwit or spend the rest of your life being raped and beaten by whoever owns you next while your children are god knows where.

Don’t despair! Our heroine is about to fall hopelessly in love (for no apparent reason) with a cold, violent pirate driven to destroy her entire family. Ok, well, of course she tries to shoot him first, but then she freely offers him no strings sex because how can you NOT love a guy who is busy causing the death of countless others? And really, later you’ll find out it’s all because his baby sister was ‘killed’ and his father was beheaded by your uncle during an Irish uprising. It’s hardly his fault. I mean, his mother got over it, his brother got over it - someone had to be scarred for life!! Though his brother is in love with you, (apparently solely because you know how to let a guy bang you senseless and not even leave a buck on the pillow the next day) he is going to fight to help you save said cold thuggish pirate dude. Barely affected by learning of his six year affair with your aunt, whom you bravely comfort because you are Warm and Good, or of his tossing any skirt that walks by because it is Just Sex, (he totally gets by with the “I banged her and thought of you because she is nothing and you are virgin-like” crap) you offer yourself for misuse again and again against the day that - will it come? Could it come? Yes! One day he will stop trying to kill the man who killed his father and give their country estate to the son who tried to murder him and rape you so that the British will stop fighting the War of 1812 or something like that. Who the hell knows. Not Tillie - she’s too busy trying to keep off the auction block to figure your cracker asses out.

Review: All About Seduction by Katy Madison

2011-10-16T09:24:00.000-04:00

Katy Madison has my complete attention.

We're pretty much two for two here. It's interesting to see each generation of authors dust off and shake out the older stories. Katy Madison successfully went after the gothic with her last novel, Tainted By Temptation. This time around she's going with the pimping husband and a sidecar of Shanna. (Lorraine Heath just took this one on as well, almost redeeming it in the process. Initially, I thought Katy Madison was failing hard in comparison. As All About Seduction continued, I realized she was taking a different but equally successful route to a new look at this tired tale.)

Madison moves her infertile husband and his socialite wife to the Victorian age, offering her more social mobility to work with. Instead of the standard convention of this plot line (the heroine being offered her true love on an adulterous platter) Caroline is faced with a house party of men to choose from. Madison steps away from fantasy to truthfully explore the horror of the heroine's situation. Caroline tries to seduce men as repellant to her as her spouse. Of course there is a man who interests her. Through her relationship with Jack, Caroline slowly reclaims her sexuality. (Jack gets one of the best lines in the book, debunking the 'magic pole' theory of restoring a woman's sexual interest.) After 15 years of rape, Caroline is hardly ready to get wild. Jack is one of her mill workers, saddled with the sort of dysfunctional family many will find relatable. His dreams of becoming a self made man crushed, Jack is willing to risk his own life to be with Caroline.

Despite a slow start, I enjoyed All About Seduction and expect Katy Madison to eventually find her way to my must buy list. With well constructed class differences and a truthful look at the repressed rage of the purchased bride, All About Seduction made good use of this unpopular plot. The ending is a bit neat, yet Madison lays the groundwork well enough to render it plausible. In this she does surpass the Heath book's wedding-during-birth even as she falls just short in totality. How many authors can stand up to a direct contest to Lorraine Heath? (If I were Madison I'd take the second place with pride.) Of course, the self made ex-husband is a horrible person with a horrible past but it doesn't feel gratuitous. To drive Jack and Caroline to the place they need to be emotionally for this mismatched infidelity to occur, an extreme villain is required. Caroline's family is not as heartless as she assumes, simply distanced by a classic case of the mousy wife in the abuser's trap. Jack's family is weak in a way I personally recognize. They resent his desire to elevate himself from poverty even as they long to improve their own situations. It's an old story, told well here.

I'm not sure what's next for Katy Madison but I'll show up to find out. Unless it's a harem novel. (Don't dust that one off, it's hopeless. Some plots can't really be redeemed.)

Review: Holy Terror by Frank Miller

2011-10-15T02:42:00.001-04:00

I honestly can't believe the asking price on Holy Terror. MSRP is $29.99 and I don't think I'd buy it for a buck. Here's everything you need to know. "Stunning art can't save this reactionary rage tale lacking nuance or emotional engagement." Also? Phantom Menace had smoother dialogue. This is a propaganda piece in the worst sense of the word. By dehumanizing Al Qaeda's soldiers Miller wants the reader to be comfortable with their slaughter. This version of Al Qaeda is one without explanation. A Muslim's first sip of beer before blowing up a nightclub undermines even their zealotry. In Holy Terror's construct your choices are between murdering violent thugs on 'our' side and murdering violent thugs who are on 'their' side. There is little difference between the two. I have long been a fan of Miller's dramatic art style, his willingness to tackle dark, complex characters and his refusal to sanitize human motivation. Holy Terror is just bad. It fails on so many levels that I am disappointed in Miller for bringing it to market. This is a work that would have been better served sitting in a filing cabinet, unearthed postmortem to show how the author used art as a catharsis while his self editing eye recognized it's failure. Put to that purpose, Holy Terror could have enhanced Miller's legacy. Instead it serves as a disappointment to me and a cautionary tale to others. Without the self awareness he brought to the characters of Sin City or the pointed humor of Martha Washington, Miller offers a shallow work I'd expect to come from Iran's propaganda department. Here, read the Amazon version of this review.

"This one's bad kids, really bad. Visually, it's as stunning as Miller's best work but Holy Terror is an uninspiring fantasy lacking all nuance. While Al Qaeda retains it's name, New York turns into Empire City and the attacks come from deep within it's bowels. (Like a bad taco.) The wooden conversations appear inspired by 1950's serials (or the recent work of George Lucas), the villains ramble on to prove their lack of motivations or redemptions and our heros are too sadistically drawn to root for. Without the charm or self awareness of Sin City's denizens they slash and slaughter their way through the gossamer thin plot. In tone Holy Terror reminded me of an anti-semitic screed with a different ethnic focus. Miller is capable of much, much more than this. Had he put his rage aside, Miller could have offered the definitive book on terror and our need for those who fight it. Instead readers are treated to an outpouring of anger with a side of contempt. His therapy, our cash. The Batman clone is a man who orders Americans killed as easily as he does terrorists. He is somewhere past vigilante. If this were my first Miller book it would also be my last. I'd think, nice artist, too bad about the text. The art is fantastic. Miller's distinct style is put to excellent use in several panels, his anger fueled sketches of elected leaders as ineffective talking heads are among his best work. His signature three color art style is beautifully deployed throughout Holy Terror. Sadly, the story is abysmal. It's tedious, it's repetitive, it's predictable and it's ultimately unenjoyable. Bogged down by it's own strident fury, Holy Terror simply isn't worth owning."

Frank, what happened to us? Remember in the 90's when it was all love letters and puppy baskets? I can defend your use of sexually aggressive impossibly proportioned women, I can defend the belief that "Sometimes standing up for your friends means killing a whole lot of people" but The Fixer is no Dwight. I can't defend what is essentially hate speech, even if that hate has solid roots. To emotionally engage with The Fixer you have to accept that his way is the only way, that there is no future beyond slaughter, that sadistic torture and murder are a sane answer to horror. Evil is eternal. There will always be madmen with new and inventive ways to terrorize the innocent. What defines a people is their reaction to it, their recognition of what is and is not decent. There is no depth to The Fixer, no brighter day. His is a world of perpetual war, mutually assured destruction. It's also really boring.

Retro Review: Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale

2011-10-13T00:42:00.000-04:00

This one I should probably revisit. In 2004 I absolutely hated it. the market has changed dramatically, the book has recently been reissued (with a weird angry druid cover) and people adore it. In the theme of not changing it up much - here was my take on it's initial release.

If you disapprove of Romance as a genre, you have definitely entered the wrong blog. If you’re not that into homoerotic vampire novels - sit right down. Pop quiz, how many authors have been ruined by the cash cow that was Lestat? I have at least six in my personal bag of regrets. There’s nothing like unexpectedly seeing a new book by a favorite author and then finding out it’s likely to be painfully bad. (I just thought of three more. I have to stop. It’s just - I can’t. I’m sorry, but no. Too painful.)

Laura Kinsale is back after beating writer’s block into submission and she’s got something out that I think is called Shadowheart, but I could be wrong. It’s something heart and likely you don’t care anyway. It’s got one of the greatest opening lines EVER - even better than Lessa being cold - “On plow monday, all the chickens died.” I’m going to start saying that to people randomly. I might want it for a bumper sticker. I’m picturing saying it to my brother with a very somber intonation just to hear him say “WTF?” in that special sibling way. I can't decide if I hated Shadowheart or loved it - Kinsale took the assassin from one of her early books and converted him to hero. This isn't something I recall seeing much. (Lass Small crashed and burned in the very early 90's, late 80's with one where she took an abusive ex from a prior book and tried to bring him round) Anyway, pretty standard lost princess and the beast thing but Kinsale decides to mix it up with the beast actually being a beast (no redemption there to be had) and the princess being (unexpectedly) into mild pain and dominance games.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The thing is it totally worked in the context of the story. Characterization was tight, sense of place was strong, the... see, here's where we go back to "I'm sorry, what?" The princess comes to realize she can love the sociopathic killer and hurt him too, all while bringing peace and modern democracy to her feudal kingdom. Is that a new face of exploration in romance? Are we freeing the "I like it when you hurt me" crowd from their standard roles as discarded mistresses? Does it show he's not sociopathic that he goes all weak in the knees for her Alpha Chick routine? I was like, why did we go here and should we, maybe, you know, leave?

And yet I didn’t. I wonder if this is the new Lestat or if I’ll be using it as an obscure reference to someone else’s book in a decade or so?

Review: Bad Boys Do by Victoria Dahl

2011-10-12T00:01:00.000-04:00

I've been wanting to talk about this book for a few weeks but I haven't felt very tolerant. The problem of my intolerance has not been for Dahl's excellent book, but for readers of this review. There are things I am very tired of reading that I know others are not. If I say "I am so freaking sick of the man whores already" then I will be approached by the man whore defender. If I say "I have had it to about here with the mousy introvert" the same thing will happen. But I have, I've had it with both of them. Yet I loved Bad Boys Do.

Dahl has done something great with power dynamics in this book. Making our man whore (Jamie) the younger member of the partnership and our mousy introvert (Olivia) the elder, she has shifted the balance just enough for me to be interested. As Bad Boys Do progresses, it becomes obvious that Dahl is upending a few more apple carts. Because Jamie is sexually attractive and works in a bar, no one thinks twice about exploiting him. From women grabbing at his kilt (manskirts are another thing I hate) to his sister pimping him out to draw crowds, everyone expects Jamie to enjoy the attention. What else is he for? Having been told he's a plaything without substance, Jamie is perfectly primed for a sexual predator to take advantage of him.

That's not Olivia. I found Olivia far less interesting. I don't care about her recapturing her power after shaking off domineering parents and an older spouse. I am not that compelled by her as a heroine. She is interesting (for me) only as a catalyst for Jamie's personal growth. It's Olivia who, in the guise of an empowered heroine, further exploits Jamie. Her belief that they are exchanging her professional expertise for his sexual services further erodes Jamie's self confidence. The heat meter in a Dahl book is fairly elevated. She's not an erotica writer, but her characters use sex to further their relationship. I was sorry when they fell into bed (or the hot tub or...) because I didn't want to skim ahead but I so completely don't care about the physicality of the characters relationship that I didn't want to read on either. (I felt a little bit like Jamie.)

Olivia has a realistic and well detailed experience of personal growth but my impatience with her Mouse That Roared backstory kept me from really rooting for her. I don't know why Jamie couldn't find his way to his self worth with someone more personally assured. While the power dynamic was interesting, the required building up of Olivia undermined the emotional components for me. Jamie has to do some pretty heavy lifting in this book. Not only must he disprove the tired belief that men are always up for it, that an endless stream of women is a dream come true, but he also has to be the one who lifts the mouse out of her hiding place. Jamie had it coming from all sides, no one really believes in him but Olivia, a woman he has to help believe in herself. No wonder he breaks.

As in the first volume, Good Girls Don't, the family dynamics are spot on. The unspoken regrets, the emotional assumptions, the burdens of roleplaying - all are expertly depicted in the Donovan siblings relationships. Where I frequently lost patience with Tessa, the compulsive liar and pleaser, (in book one) she shines here. The time table is a bit frantic (Bad Boys Do takes places almost immediately on the heels of Good Girl's Don't) yet her evolution holds together. For me the strength of this series has been the family relationships. I can easily see Victoria Dahl having a Nora Roberts like career on the basis of those alone. After all, I'm coming back for Real Men Will in which the heroine owns a sex shop. A skimmer of sex scenes has no business in a book with that setting, yet there I will be. (Is the sex shop the new toy store? Will all future quirky young business women stock fetish wear instead of trains? Should I even talk about trains and sex shops in the same parenthetical? Probably not.)

Apples To Apples: Taking The Sony Reader Off The Table

2011-10-03T00:00:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to even talk about the Sony Tablet or the T series reader. I'm going to completely change my prior stance (that Sony is the elegant reader while Kindle is the clunky cousin). I still believe Sony offers a nicer design (so does Amazon, they appropriated it for their new line) and I prefer the versatility of vendors e-pub offers. These things haven't changed. Moves by both companies in the last few weeks changed my buying habits.

Amazon kills Sony at customer service. It's not even close. My aunt's year old refurbished Kindle broke. Amazon's response was to replace her unit with a brand new one. My daughter's three month old Sony PRS-350 had the stylus tip snap. Sony's response was to completely ignore her. We contacted three different customer service points with the issue and only one answered. That one directed us back to the other two non responsive contact points. After three weeks, I went searching and found I could order the replacement stylus (a small thin piece of plastic) for almost 70 USD. Seriously. Over 65 bucks. The unit was 90. We're using a Nintendo DS stylus that Nintendo sent me for free as a thank you for my loyal patronage. Sony didn't respond to an issue we had with her Bloggie camera either. Sony and I have to break up now. I have options, I don't need Sony telling me otherwise.

I sent the PRS-505 to a new home, told the family to use the PRS-350 until it breaks and began carrying the Kindle With Keyboard. Kindle has changed their software to support an easier method for building collections. If they ever tweak the software to allow me to partition my accounts or give me parental controls on the Kindle's abilities to download & view prior purchases, I will be buying three Kindles the next day. Having moved closer to Sony's design sense, Amazon has paired their better service experience with a better visual for their devices. Then they added library support directly to your device. One more tweak and I will take one of each of the above. Ozy and I still hang out together - he flows a PDF with more flair than Amazon (though they're trying). It's the K3 in my handbag, and soon in the backpacks as well.

It's not me, Sony. It was you. And your stylus.

Postponed Review: Lord & Lady Spy by Shana Galen

2011-10-02T20:23:00.000-04:00

Shana Galen, she's my popcorn girl. She's my reliable not sure what I want tonight read. I just can't get behind this one. Other reviewers love Lord And Lady Spy. They love it so much that even though I can't finish it myself I bought a copy for my aunt. I am possibly the only reader that will ever dislike it. We're discussing Lord And Lady Spy not to refute those reviewers, but to think about Authorial Choice.

Recently Dear Author has seen a few discussions evolve that are (at their core) about Authorial Choice and the reader's willingness to accept that choice or not. Authors have weighed in with mixed results. I've become interested in authors I never would have considered. Authors in my TBR pile shifted to my Do Not Buy list. Authorial Choice is about taste. You can't tell a reader they must like something. You cannot counter a lack of enjoyment with a lecture on historical plausibility.

Which brings us to Lord And Lady Spy. Historical plausibility is pretty much out the window on this one, leaving the reader with the choice to enjoy or not enjoy. Taking the Mr. And Mrs. Smith concept back to Romanceland, Shana Galen sets up an interesting conflict with two spies cut loose from their assignments. Married, yet blind to their shared profession, the challenge is to transfer the attention and thrill that espionage gave them into their life together. Add in emotional distance caused by a miscarriage and Galen has given herself plenty to work with.

Fairly early there is a scene that will be familiar to many - an afternoon with the in-laws. Sophia is stuck entertaining her husband's family, people she doesn't particularly like. (Many women can relate to that dynamic.) Through a series of events the family assumes Sophia is pregnant. When Adrian returns home this is the news that greets him. Sophia does not correct this misinformation and here I make the Reader's Choice to hate her. My exact thought was "What a vicious selfish bitch." I no longer care what Sophia has or has not had happen to her, I no longer care what will or won't evolve for her, I just hate her. Adrian now believes his wife has been unfaithful, Adrian's family now believes an heir could be on the way and Sophia stands silent. Why should she correct what she never claimed, she thinks. Why should she have to? Why wouldn't Adrian simply know it to be untrue? She wraps herself tightly in her passive aggressive victimhood and stalks out. I want her to get hit by a carriage, die quickly, and clear the path for a heroine to take the stage.

This is an example of a completely valid choice by the author meeting the equally valid choice of a reader. It may be utterly necessary for Sophia to carry her injured pride forward, it may be necessary for Adrian to believe she's slept about. I don't care. I don't want to have him in pain, reacting against her or choosing to forgive her when all she had to do was utter three small words. "It's not true." By keeping her mouth shut she's unleashing emotional pain on herself and those around her. I don't care why she does it. I can't overcome the action. If the hero ultimately forgives, I won't. As a reader, I was unable to set that aside. A book succeeds when it carries a reader past those stumbling blocks, when the author's choices are presented in a way that overcomes the reader objection. For one reader, the heroine should never sleep with her brother. For another reader, the heroine can't be a sexual puppet without repercussions. For this reader, once I think your heroine is a vicious selfish bitch, it's hard to stay with her. Sophia's silence is completely plausible, it's historically accurate and it may be a good choice by Shana Galen for the plot she's crafting. Many other readers had no difficulty with it at all. Sophia and I, we had to break up over it. Amazon is selling it for 90% off for a limited time - for 79 cents you can see how you feel. (I don't mind having paid full price, I try to buy my go-to authors on release day as a show of support.)

Missed Review: Bonnie by Iris Johansen

2011-09-26T23:31:00.000-04:00

I don't think I am going to be reviewing Bonnie. I'm not even sure I am going to read it. Quinn might have been my last Iris Johansen book, and like so many endings I didn't know it while it was occuring. I mention this only because I have reviewed several other books in the series and because I need to say something in relation to this book.

I was wrong.

During the reset of the series that occurred in Eve and Quinn, I formulated a theory that Johansen was going to bring out a twist ending. I could see the groundwork laid for the twist. With so many books behind her, so many changes made to the character of Eve, a twist seemed the only resolution that made sense. Again, I was wrong. The twist is that there is no twist.

Readers of Bonnie should get some resolution explaining the fate of Eve's daughter. To be frank, I used Amazon's Look Inside feature to preview the book. With some judicious keyword searches I was able to determine that the writing choices Johansen has been making of late, the ones that drive me the craziest, are in full display in Bonnie. Saint Bonnie continues her path to canonization as the story moves ever farther from it's working class roots. It appears that people who may or may not be main characters will die. Joe and Eve may or may not get another adopted kid to raise. Bonnie and her Bugs Bunny shirt will absolutely continue to heal the dead, soothe the afflicted, and elevate the existence of all within her glow. I'm not sure I can sign on for 400 or so pages of that again. Still, I am not one to bail on a deal be it stated or implied so for the third and probably final time...

I was wrong.

Review: Best American Comics 2011

2011-09-25T09:53:00.006-04:00

Best collections are always a mixed bag. If the editor's taste lines up with yours, the volume becomes a lifelong favorite. If it doesn't, then it's a disaster. While I like Alison Bechdel, I don't love her. I was curious what she'd do as a guest editor, and the answer is a volume that leans heavily toward the type of confessional art that she does herself.

It's a style I like best when it works with issues larger than the cartoonist (Speigelman) and stays so tightly focused that tiny moments become epic (Allie Brosh). My least favorite use of the confessional strip is when it focuses on a loser who feels himself above the other losers and puts himself in situations where no one can win. (I won't name names). I've never been a fan of Crumb or Pekar but I've a real weakness for some of the older narrative serials, circa 1920. So that's my taste. With those parameters understood, I have to give Best American Comics 2011 a solid B.

There were some very strong strips (Pham, Ware, and Sacco) strips that perfectly define what I don't like (Mutch), and strips that give a good example of being edgy for the sake of it (Hernandez). Looking back at the collection, there was a wide range of subject and style but in the reading it felt narrow. I don't know if that was due to sequencing or selection. I didn't close the volume feeling a strong need to seek out more work by any particular author, but it was an interesting look at the current crop of autobiographical comic artists.

Pirates In The Family

2011-09-23T00:16:00.001-04:00

Tragic Scenes, a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

Among a certain class of race and income, E-Readers are becoming the new normal. Your grandmother might have bought herself a Kindle at the warehouse club, your Little League coach might have a Kobo tucked in the gym bag. Suddenly, almost overnight, seeing a paper book makes you stop and do a double take. These are not people who frequent the blogging community. Sites built by people who love books educate consumers on the market. I talk about a book, you buy it, you suggest it to someone else, they buy it. Blogging is one of the few places that trickle economics really works. (And I know people are buying. For some reason they like to email or tweet that sort of thing instead of leaving a comment. Tokidoki thread? Plenty of views, no conversation. Half a dozen "Hey, I bought that print after reading the review" private messages.) So you and I, we understand DRM and Agency Pricing and all the things that a new Kindle owner does not.

Suddenly, Grandpa is a pirate. He has no idea. He's dead certain he isn't. He will argue with you six ways from Sunday that he most certainly is not stealing books, in fact he's paying for them! Grandpa does not understand the currently legal price fixing game that is Agency. He sees a toaster for $8, he searches until he finds it for $6. He buys it, he's happy he got a deal. He sees an ebook for $8, he searches until he finds it for $5 or $3 or maybe even free. He's happy he got a deal. He has no idea if it's legit or not. Grandpa thinks the big names are just trying to rip him off. Getting Grandpa to understand he's stealing is a lot harder than you may think.

For the last nine months I've had a running argument with a Grandfather Of Five that I know socially. He loves his Kindle and he loves this search engine his friend showed him that lets him find books for free or even half price. It's great. He hardly ever buys from Amazon directly anymore, because these guys beat the prices! He used to be able to get good deals, but then Amazon 'got greedy'. I've been telling him he's either giving money to pirates or reading freeware. I tell him there are lots of very reputable booksellers out there whose names do not start with A or end with N and yet he is probably not doing business with them. "Listen, I know my buddy and you do not. No WAY this guy would lead me into anything shady. These are all legit things. He even gave me 1200 books to get me started from his personal library." And there was the opening.

I have told him about Agency, I have told him about DRM, but to him I am The Kid and this guy is The Buddy and The Buddy always trumps The Kid. Especially in New York. Prove me wrong, I say. Show me what I'm missing. Let me in on the deal. He knows I'm wrong, and he's going to show me. He brings me his computer. "He bought every one of these in the starter package. Take a look. You'll see, it's all stuff he bought. Some of this here is stuff I bought." I ask a few questions. I poke around. Most of the books are bestsellers. Fully half are Tea Party Patriot tomes. I can see why he and his buddy think it's impossible they've been dealing shady. I tell Grandpa of Five I can not only prove he's been giving money to pirates, I don't even have to look hard to do it. A complete ebook library of J.K. Rowling's books without DRM created in 2010? "I paid ten bucks for that!"

To a pirate.

When buying content is easy, when prices are fluid or make sense, Grandpa is not motivated to seek out his deals. He's not part of the die hard pirate culture, he's a sale to be captured. The more roadblocks put in Grandpa's way the more likely it is that he's going to go looking for an easier, cheaper source. His money and he are going to part ways, it's just a question of who gets it. Grandpa of Five does not believe that his Harry Potter proves the point. I'm putting some articles together for him on J.K. Rowling and a few other authors I found on his system. He's not going to be happy when the truth dawns on him, but he's going to be even less happy when he realizes his choice is abandoning the big six or breaking the law. Because if there is one thing Grandpa won't do, it's pay full retail. He's the reason God invented the Early Bird Special.

Review: The Real Duchesses of London by Lavina Kent Revisited

2011-09-20T01:38:00.000-04:00

I rather wish there had only been two volumes of the Real Duchesses series. Initially, it seemed like a fun and fresh concept, the added aspect of female friendships made the novellas seem deeper than they were. While Annabelle, The American is not a bad story the hero is fatally flawed. The sustaining aspect of female friendship is given little to work with as the girls barely know Annabelle and her close friends reside in America. The revelation of the catalyst for events falls flat as well. Carrying on with the Kink of The Week theme established in the earlier books, we discover Annabelle might have some Naughty Schoolteacher in her soul. (File that under things I didn't care to know.)

Before I spoil the ever loving heck out of Annabelle, I'll take a quick pass at Elizabeth, The Enchantress. For me, the cool and collected Elizabeth has been a star of the series. Her ability to stay composed in the face of scandal has it's roots in her own scandal ridden past, a scandal level that seems fairly extreme. One wonders where her husband's heir was as she took the reins of his estate in her 19 year old hands. Removed from the reach of her comically uncaring uncle, her husband off to parts unknown within days, Elizabeth masters her own destiny? I suppose. There's no KoTW here, unless you count a sex toy that makes a brief and somewhat anticlimactic (sorry) appearance. Elizabeth and Linnette (you may recall her as The Lioness) are forced to make nice, the women gather around in a show of solidarity, but the true bonds of female friendship are weaker yet. Perhaps the overriding theme of this series hasn't been KoTW, but rather Women Who Just Wanted To Be Wanted. For all her strength of character, Elizabeth folds like a house of cards when her husband shows up.

Annabelle takes the revelation of her husband's secret family as her cue to get busy with the sexxing. Sure she's sad and all, but how can they move past whatever it is unless they keep the lines of communication open (the same lines that never revealed he might be keeping two households)? Here we're going to go into spoiler land because Annabelle, The American has the same unrecoverable flaw that Elizabeth Boyle's Lord Langley does. This guy is an absolutely terrible father. An unredeemable creep of a father. He's not just a deadbeat dad, he's a deserter who moans that he couldn't stay gone. Why would I want rich beautiful caring Annabelle to end up with him? Do the only kids that count belong to the heroine? Is this some sort of postmodern second wife syndrome hero we're seeing these days? Remember when a hero collected all their bastards from the countryside and insisted on fathering them? Remember when they were careful not to be a baby daddy at all? How is parental desertion suddenly acceptable? I don't get this. The set up for Annabelle's man is that he knocked up a women below his class but he super extra loved her. Reader, He Married Her. These are legitimate kids. So his dad gets mad. Rather than man up and tell the Duke that he has a wife with a pair of kids, thank you very much (Actually, only one is legit. He married her between kids.) he allows himself to be sent off to some estate to do something.

When he returns, he has a young daughter and an infant daughter and a dead wife. His dad, the aforementioned Duke, tells him to keep his yap shut or the kids go to the workhouse. Again, his kids with his wife, who is dead because he left them behind. Like a coward. So does our hero snatch his kids up and take them to America? Does he tell his dad to stuff it and get a job from one of his society friends? No! He goes to America alone, where he plans on staying forever, and his dad agrees to educate the kids then places the older one as a governess. Right. So after raising her younger sister with her dad off living the life of a ducal second son in America (did he even appeal to his brother, the heir?) she (still towing her younger sister) enters into the workforce taking care of others children. Here she meets a boy and falls in love. He dies. Like her mom did. There's a baby (not hers) and she takes the care of it and her sister and moves forward with all the strength of character her father lacks. Meanwhile, he meets Annabelle and says "Hey baby, you're hot and rich and could have anyone. Let me tell you I don't love you so your self destructive side can come out to play." They marry and he plans to live in America for his whole life and raise fat happy babies. (Babies that count, I guess.) His brother dies, which makes him the heir, which brings him back to London where he still doesn't tell his wife about his first marriage or his children. Now he's all woe is me, I love my kids, I married you to provide for them, sob sob sob, but it's a lot of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and very little Actual Good Father. Suddenly his dad is all "Yea, when I found out at least one wasn't a bastard I kinda felt bad about this whole thing, but whatevs," Annabelle still doesn't meet her stepchildren, she's too busy consoling and sexxing up the massively entitled baby she married. At no point does she call him out on his child abandonment, despite being American. The guy is a complete creep. So's his dad. When his dad comes by with a halfhearted "Sorry I was a bitch and made your social life hell" Annabelle is all, that's ok. Let's start over! The woman has looks, money, and a family willing to take her back in her home country. What does she need these losers for?

And still I preferred Annabelle The American to Elizabeth, The Enchantress. While Annabelle's man is a weak willed loser, Elizabeth and hers were just deadly dull. I was forcing myself to click through the pages so I could say I did. In Elizabeth the identity of the other cartoonist is revealed. His motivation? "We don't know, he just always kind of hated us. It's weird." His fate? The proverbial plantation home in the Islands where he can be overlord of the non-white citizens around him. Yes, it is always so satisfying when a woman hating villain is given a home where he can prey on the less societally endowed women of the world. That solves everything. I clutched my pearls and cried tears of joy at his fitting comeuppance - a removal from society and all it's pleasures. I suppose my suggestion, after this excessively long opinion piece, would be as follows. Buy Linette The Lioness. Consider Annabelle The American if you have a high tolerance for child desertion. Skip the other two.

Review: In Total Surrender by Anne Mallory

2011-09-19T23:38:00.000-04:00

This one's worth Agency pricing. We're talking about Lorraine Heath levels of awesome here. I think it may also be controversial. But we can get to that, right?

The opening had me a little off balance. I was afraid that our heroine, Phoebe Pace, was going to be a TSTL* naive Mary Sunshine type. (At one point I was deeply concerned for her mental stability.) Without giving everything away, I was wrong. So wrong. If Phoebe starts to worry you, give her time. She's worth waiting for. Phoebe's doing the whole "anything for my family" bit but not in a "I'm trading myself for my brother's debts" kind of way. She's more of a bill juggler. You know, like when you accidentally send the power company the phone company's check? (I think they got wise to that one.) Phoebe's family owes Andreas Merrick quite a bit of cash, but she's thinking they can pay it back if a few events go her way.

Andreas Merrick is the potential controversy. The brother of One Night Is Never Enough's hero, Andreas gives new meaning to 'dangerous to know'. (He's a crime lord, it makes sense.) Taking the realistic outcome of the Merrick brothers background to the next level, Mallory makes it clear that Andreas isn't secretly a super nice and harmless guy. He kills people on at least a weekly basis. While it startled me, it works. We have so many dark, angsty, self made men in Romance Land that claw their way up, run gangs, control vast sections of London, and manage to do it all without hurting anyone. If you're a universally feared ruler of the streets, it's likely more than just talk. I can see some readers having difficulty accepting that Andreas isn't a nice guy. It's not a nice world he lives in. In his world, nice means dead.

So Phoebe wants to save her family business and Andreas wants to destroy it as a step on his path to revenge. (Those dark and angsty guys always have the revenge thing going on.) Poor Phoebe is caught in the middle with her company on one side and Andreas's enemy on the other. I loved the power struggle between these two equally determined characters so much. I read a Lorraine Heath novel directly after In Total Surrender and I still say Anne Mallory has turned in one of the best books of the year. It's so good I even forgive her giving our super dreamy Andreas a definitely not dreamy family member. (We'll just pretend we've never seen that guy's picture, ok?)

In Total Surrender works on it's own terms but I think my emotional connection to the characters was aided by having read One Night Is Never Enough. Both Andreas's social awkwardness and Roman Merrick's flippant attitude are well established in the prior book. While In Total Surrender certainly explains both, I would read the two together if possible. I hope this book puts Anne Mallory where she belongs. She is on my short list of favorite historical authors. This has been an interesting series from Mallory, asking us as readers to accept that the dangerous hero is often a murderous one. It would be easy for her to spin a series off from the other side of the coin, people who have suffered as the unseen collateral damage of the brothers. I can't explain why women are attracted to men like these in life, but in fiction the Merrick brothers are certainly worth the trouble.

*Too Stupid To Live

Review: New York to Dallas by J.D. Robb

2011-09-18T01:12:00.003-04:00

Does this really need a review? What are we - 33, 34 books out? (I guess we do because I find myself with things to say about New York To Dallas.) Disclaimer - I like Nora Roberts / J.D. Robb as an actual person. I think she is gracious, hilarious, biting, generous, all the things I look for in a person. I find her NR books hit or miss and her Eve series completely addictive even though I don't like Roarke. (I know. That's fine. Being a party of one never bothers me.) Some on Twitter wondered if the series could continue as it is with so many of the primary mysteries about Eve wrapped up. I say yes.

For me, Eve's backstory has gone to characterization. While I have been interested in aspects of it, I have not felt a compelling need for answers. Having the answers doesn't fundamentally change what I enjoy about the books. Still, taking Eve to Dallas was a smart choice. As the series has grown, so have the lives Eve becomes involved in. Sometimes I feel characters are getting shoehorned into a story they don't belong in, just so they can make an appearance. Putting Eve in Dallas relieved author and reader of that mental checklist. (Although almost the entire cast is at least name checked.) I agree that NYTD would be a reasonable place to tie off the character. Roberts works several years ahead of publication, so I imagine her editors know if she's done with Eve. My money says no. I think she was done with Eve's past, with having that shoe waiting to drop.

There is a character introduced fairly early in NYTD who made me sigh. I knew where we were going before we left the station. While the execution was well done, it's not the path I would have liked to see taken. The world is really not as small as it seems in NYTD. (That's been an issue for me in the past as well, there are only so many overlapping circles I find reasonable.) The core plot of NYTD I quite liked - a criminal Eve put away in her youth returns for a rematch in the prime of her career. He's lost his edge, she's gained experience, but he has the advantage of caring less about the lives in jeopardy. (One thing I really adore about the In Death series would be that it never fetishizes or eroticizes the psychopaths.) Parts of the story reminded me of details from the Jaycee Duggard story, but not in a Lifted From The Headlines way. Overall, it's a solid Eve Dallas tale, and one I think will not disappoint fans of the series.

On the downside, NYTD has a 'cofftea' moment. Eve picks up several new shorthand slang words, including one for analysis. I was not the first to notice this, it fairly jumps off the page. (If the author wasn't Nora Roberts it would be a meme by now. I have never even considered doing such a thing to my laundry.) My new catchphrase for the year is going to be a quote lifted directly from the pages of NYTD. I just can't say it in front of any kids. Or at the laundromat. Possibly even in public (although we both know I will). Yet these sentences made it through all the eyes that stand between a prepublication certified bestseller and your hands. Goes to show.

Retro Review: Burn by Linda Howard

2011-09-14T03:07:00.000-04:00

Are you as fascinated as I am by revisiting my past? No? Dude, what's wrong with you? Ok, well, since I am I bring you another review from the Blog Community I Completely Forgot About. I kind of recall writing this one. Unlike the last one. Maybe I was coming down from the Doxorubicin. (I'd say enjoy, but I don't think that's the right sentiment here.) Love the rating I gave Burn. Looks like I was bitter. (Let's not talk about it.)

Title: Burn
Author: Linda Howard
Genre/Historical Period: Contemporary
Grade/Rating: Not As Bad As Death Angel
Summary/Review: Titanic Meets Category Romance
Part of a Series?: Concentrate And Ask Again
Would I recommend this book?: I wouldn't knock it out of your hands and scream "RUN"

You know, if I hated Burn the title itself would write the review. Given the last few books Linda Howard has written, I think it's pretty brave to call a book Burn (especially since it has just about jack all to do with the content). Then again, given that her next book is called Ice, this might just be some publisher branding meme. Burn is two stories at once, and it is neither great nor terrible, it straddles the fence of lost opportunity and tries not to fall off. So there are going to have to be spoilers, right?

We meet our heroine, Jenner (right away you know her parents are loons) as she struggles home from her dead end job at the meat packing factory. If you've ever been poor, working a dead end job, or exhausted while some good looking loser expects you to bring home the beer, you'll find that Jenner's exhaustion rings completely true. Here I got excited because for the first time in a long time Howard wasn't giving me a beautiful buffed gal living in luxury with a few problems on the side. Finally we were back in reality land with a hard working woman driving a beat down car and standing in the Michelob line on a Friday night. Prince Charming was due with his tool belt any second, right?

Wrong. Jenner wins Powerball. Sure, she calls it the lottery, but with a 300 mil payout, those of us on the Michelob line know what game she was really playing. It stays interesting because Jenner sensibly panics and takes the reader through all the post win steps you never think about. Like it taking months for the money to show up, and most winners blowing it all on craft beer and hookers. But not Jenner, cause it's not even her beer. She finds herself an up and coming lesbian (no, really, and may I say a huge thank you to Howard for bucking the trend of introducing gay characters just to kill them or have them turn evil?) and invests that cash like woah. Meanwhile, everyone in her cobbled together life proves themselves unstable and desert her.

(Let's take a moment to examine the class warfare that's about to go into play. Before Best Pal uses her for money, and having lots of money makes her see that. But her After Best Pal uses her for a backbone, and that's ok. Being used for money BAD. Being used as an emotional crutch GOOD. Since Jenner never goes poor, she doesn't really have to worry about how her new BFF would relate to a meat packer, does she?)

Alright, so Jenner gets rich but not happy. She discovers that taxes suck and tax breaks are not as plentiful on the ground as she'd been led to think, and that having money is actually quite a burden on
~~Ms Howard~~ Jenner. Rich people are untrusting, but much nicer than you'd think, and charity functions are really all about charity. Now that these things are off her chest, we leave absolutely everything up to this point behind. Seriously, rip the first half of the book out and set it on fire, leave the book in the closet for a year, start over, and you'll find it makes as much sense as it was going to make. The long set up of who Jenner is and why she is and her change in circumstances are only there to place her on a boat. Jenner, who has always had trouble fitting in, but now has trouble from a place of money and is smart (since she doubled her lotto win with investments) and only lost 20% in the recent market crash (well done ~~Ms. Howard!~~ Jenner!) boards a boat while her Bestie does not! There, you've got all you'll need for background.

Ok, so in the second book, Jenner is held captive by one of those lawless dudes that Ms. Howard likes almost as much as her "barely wet" fast, um, expressions of love. And her condoms. Seriously, this guy (whose name I already forgot - I think it's Cael but I kept calling him Caul like it was some kind of hoodrat thing) has coworkers who pass condoms out to people they think should sleep together. Can you imagine? You walk by your boss and you say "Hey buddy, I saw how you and marketing were eyeing each other - Catch! I brought you crazy kids a prezzie!! Its got a vibrating ring!" Yea, there's employment security. Anyway, she meets him, he's kinda hot, he kidnaps her so he's not so hot, she thinks he might rape her so he's REALLY not hot, he makes it clear that he's aware of the power disparity and No Rape Will Happen In This Book, No Matter How Alpha I Am, and things settle down to the plot. This would have been a most awesome plot except the bad guy totally tells you everything bad he's going to be doing. And it's awesome bad. It's so bad you want him to succeed and the whole book to be about them trying to stop it and the slow unfolding of events and the aftermath on all of them who survive and how it affects them and.... right, well, not so much the way it happens.

They don't even figure out what's going on until the very last section of the book. It's all Julie and Gopher and Lido deck shenanigans while a kidnapping contract worker and his really wealthy but spiritually lost captive find their way to each other through her savvy intellect and his willingness to be seduced. Then suddenly, pretty much by accident, they find out the bad guy is wanting to go all Titanic so Celine Dion will write songs for him, and it's a rush to save anyone they can. Which is kinda awesome but way too short. And there's no clean up - it's Wow! We are in DANGER and then it's DANGER ON and then it's Danger Over, Six Months (or whateves) Later. They don't even float in the water and think about which person they'd eat if they got, like, really hungry and people had to be eaten. Or have to explain to the Coast Guard why Titanic is being recreated in warm tropical waters.

It's not a bad read, it's kind of an enjoyable read in several places. As a whole, it's incomplete. I wouldn't buy it in hardcover but as a library book I'd totally do it once.

Review: Mom's Cancer by Brian Fies

2011-09-13T19:28:00.000-04:00

Probably you should just go ahead and read the book. This was my short form review -

"I can't stand cancer books. I've done the cancer train too many times, both as bystander and patient. Most cancer books get it wildly wrong. Everything is either a bid for a false sense of control or a cheerleading session. Mom's Cancer gets it right. Cancer is a disease the whole family shares, a disease that doesn't end at the points you think it should, whatever the outcome. When I first flipped through Mom's Cancer I wasn't ready to read it. I don't think I'd give this book to someone at the beginning of Cancer Land. Now, a few years later, it's one of the most meaningful graphic novels I've seen. I think the pages on conversation subtext might be the best aspect of the book. Deeply personal and completely universal, Mom's Cancer is an excellent book."

Cancer Land is a weird place with not enough Peanut Brittle and way too many Molasses Swamps. You move around the board and hope you're going to get to the Gingerbread House, but it's an illusion. You never arrive. There is no Gingerbread House to be had. I had a Medical Meeting today (I take a lot of those, there are never refreshments) followed by an email from a 'Previvor' about 'Previvor Day'. I find the entire 'Previvor' concept deeply disturbing. Having been told they have a higher than average genetic risk for cancer, people undergo medical procedures in the hope that it will prevent the cancer from developing. Or they join support groups. Or otherwise upend their lives because someday something might happen to them. My family would qualify as 'Previvors'. Of these 19 individuals, one has had cancer. So while I disagree with the 'Previvor' movement, I understand the concept. I'm certain the other 18 have their moments of concern.

Like I said in the short version, Mom's Cancer is pretty dead on. Hope you don't relate at all.

Retro Review: Mastered By Love by Stephanie Laurens

2011-09-12T00:09:00.000-04:00

When you've been reviewing as long as I have you can't be expected to recall every word ever written. I've done reviewing as a paying gig (not currently) as a hobby (that would be this) and as that person at the party who won't stop talking to you. I've seen a million books and failed to be rocked by them all. Still, when a comment notification came up in my inbox I was surprised to find that not only did I fail to recall this 2009 review - I failed to recall being a member of the site it was on. (It's totally me though, my password and everything.) While it punches a little harder than I would generally swing on It's My Genre, Baby I am going to reprint it here because it makes me laugh. (My joy is your reason for existing, duh.)

Also, I think I was high. I believe I was doing a lot of Cytoxan in those days. (Kids, if it has the word Tox, like in Toxin, it's not going to be as much fun as you think.) Um, if you're Stephanie Laurens you might want to stop reading now. I stand behind really not liking the book, but I'm not wanting to pull the wings off butterflies or anything like that. Kthxbye. Oh no, wait, no Kthxbye yet. What is up with this cover? Is that the world's largest dental dam? She's naked and really happy - he's kind of on her hip bone - I dunno, it's confusing me. This color purple is the exact color of the book I once painted my nails to match so boys would notice me on the beach. Somehow I thought if my nail color and book jacket were in harmony, it would be hot. I wasn't the smartest kid. (I'm not sure this review is going to argue for my adulthood. Let's be real - I wrote part of it to the tune of Kidnap The Sandy Claws.)

Ironically (is it?) I get this reminder of why I stopped reading Laurens just as a Viscount Breckenridge arc showed up in my mail. Fingers crossed, kids. Fingers crossed.

Title: Mastered By Love
Author: Stephanie James
Genre/Historical Period: Regencyland
Grade/Rating: Is there a G?
Summary: An absolute chore
Part of a Series?: Bastion Club (Finale)
Would I recommend this book?: Oh hell no
Planning to read anything else by this author?: Not anymore.

OMGZ you guys I hated this book soooooooo much.

And if that was the entire content of my review, I'd have exceeded the quality of the book already.

I don't know - I think this book would be popular with a tween looking for a great deal of sexual description without having to be caught reading an erotic book. It has it all. Pages and pages of all. From 'she was sopping wet already' to crimson silk sheets and blindfolds, it's like a checklist of sexual cliche and excess description. She can summarize a major plot scene in two lines, decades of his life in three paragraphs, but its dozens of pages of sex, a few paragraphs to set up the next day, and then back in bed.

She forgot to include the romance. But it's not erotic either. It's just tiring. Like trying to be interested in a poorly shot porn video your friends made when you haven't slept in hours and don't really care. The prevailing feeling is how soon can I get away from these people? It leaves you emotionally fatigued and diminishes everyone involved.

There are GREAT building blocks here - a spinster running the dukedom, the sudden and unexpected death of the estranged father, an international plot centered on a master traitor and the cadre of spies who've been hunting him, (and honestly, by the time the spy is revealed you realize the only way he ever beat anyone was by their being bone stupid) and multiple base born adult children existing on their estranged brother's estate.

Why use ANY of that when you have crimson silk sheets? And you've decided to make your all powerful hero inept and bungling? His study of people, his abilities to guess what they will do before they know themselves, all out the window in favor of a generic Tru Hero Who Sux At Luv. And the mastermind behind all the traitorous acts of the entire series? A bumbling freak who talks to himself incessantly. Seriously, he CANNOT shut up. He spends a page and a half while he thinks the heroine is out cold deciding how to rape and kill her best - like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman as a deranged killer. THIS is the guy who outwitted everyone?? He leaves the most mindnumbingly obvious clue to their location, but it doesn't matter, because Our Hero And His Buddies are TSTL and with a force of at least - well - more than three - decide the answer is for most of them to hide outside and make no noise while the other approaches via Certain Death Trap alone. I can think of at least seven different ways to approach the situation that are less idiotic than the one they choose - but hey. That lets the heroine be drugged, assaulted, murder someone, and then go back to her party!!!! No harm, no foul!

Did I mention they were passing out TSTL candy like it was Halloween? Cause they were. Which made me think of Mr. Talky the Villain Of Self Soundtracking as the missing member of the Nightmare Before Christmas Trio -

Kidnap the Chatelaine
Take her to the mill
Throw her on the big stone slab
And monologue at will.

I'm breaking up with her. Meredith Duran and I have been flirting lately, I think it's time to offer her the spot on my auto-buy list. I hope Stephanie Laurens doesn't go all stalker on me, she needs to understand that when she does me like that I have to move on for my own self respect. I wish her luck, there's someone for everyone, right?

Review: Unclaimed by Courtney Milan

2011-09-10T00:13:00.000-04:00

Do you think if I rolled around on the floor and waved my arms that Courtney Milan would rub my tummy? Because I have to tell you, I am so her bitch. Which is not to say that Unclaimed is perfection in a yellow cover. There's an editorial choice made near the end that I take issue with. (Everyone loves a reunion story, I suppose.)

Back to the book. Mark is the poster child for purity. This made me nervous because in my experience the guys with the purity rings are either A) lying, B) closet cases or C) destined to cheat on their RealDoll. (Did you see the episode of Dollhouse with the RealDolls and the golfing serial killer? I mean, all the icky rape culture implications aside, oh wait. You can't examine Dollhouse without them. Hm. Back to the book again.) Mark is D) None of the above! Mark Turner is Jonas Brothers famous for being a normal guy who just decided not to exploit women.

Jessica (I started to Google Jessica as a Victorian name but I got distracted by Rhenis as a cross gender name of unknown origin and ended up just trusting Milan. I mean, this is a series with a dude named Smite. If she wants a Jessica she can have a Jessica. It's probably even historically accurate.) is not as impressed with Mark's purity as the rest of London. (I don't think she'd be into boy bands either. Jessica strikes me as more of a bar rock kind of girl.) She hasn't been a virgin in a very long time, leading her to think that Mark is of the lying type. For the right bribe, she'll prove it. This leads to a WTF moment for me. It seems the Turner boys reclaimed their childhood home. Some serious stuff went down in that house but Mark decides to go back there to lay low. I haven't been in my childhood home in (cough) years and I still have nightmares about the place. I didn't have half of what the Turner boys dealt with so their affinity for the home confused me. But it's Mark's house, he can live in it. Flashbacks are his own fault. (Burn it down and salt the earth, I say.)

Aside from Mark and Jessica there are some really excellent side characters and a number of Smite sightings. (He's the cute ~~Jonas~~ Turner.) Also, a dog. Sort of. Mark has to deal with all the small town drama that his celebrity and her impurity bring with them while navigating his very normal personal desires. Jessica realizes she's been living inside a shell of herself, unable to see past her survival mode long enough to claim her own life back. I adored them, and I adored their story. Even with the sentimental bits and the weird real estate issue. Unclaimed is a love letter to morality for morality's sake and the power of siblings in our lives. Bring on Smite and toss me a tennis ball.

Brief Thoughts About Genre

2011-09-08T14:23:00.001-04:00

Our New Overlords, a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

I read all over the map, but the genre fences are strong for some. I was reminded of this by two events yesterday. In the first, a person I know well interrupted a conversation I was having with another reader.

"What? You're talking about romance?" Actually, Romantic suspense, but OK. "Oh, YUCK!"The person walked off, making the icky shudder faces well known to those acquainted with toddlers. I returned to my conversation. Now the first woman was uncomfortable. "I read other things too. I have a lot of Baldacci, I like history." I steer the conversation gently back to where it was, soothing ruffled feathers on the way. The subtext was "Please don't think less of me, please respect me." Eventually we get back on topic, but minor flashes of insecurity continue. I want to tell her it's ok to read books by women, it's ok to read books for women. It's ok to read something that isn't by men, about men, that isn't about punishing women or white women teaching black women how to rise to whiteness, or tragic or all the other things that are Acceptable Media when romance is not. She will say she knows. She will say it in the same tone a woman uses when you tell her that guy wasn't worth the tears "Oh, I know that" she says. But they don't.

The Romance Hater returns. I happen to know her favorite book is the Twilight Series and I steer the conversation into revealing that. Twilight has been made into a movie, it's been a bestseller, it's been on magazine covers, so Twilight is ok. My Romance Hater can love Twilight without the tarnishing brush of Romance because of it's elevation to Acceptable Media. (She also loved The Hunger Games, which is a dystopian romance at it's core, but is also Acceptable Media given it's adaptation into a film and it's YA status.) Her fervent love for these books, the things about them that appeal so strongly to her over other books she's read are not their romantic elements. They are not, because she does not like Romance. I don't know if that can create a lightbulb moment for my Romance Lover or not. I can only do so much.

Every book is a frog. Until you kiss it you can't know if it's a prince or not. Other people can kiss it for you but no princess ever got the crown by waiting for approval. Sometimes the frog can't be hidden by even the most determined elevation to Acceptable Media. Like an emperor without clothes, some readers find frogs in the most elegantly attired.

Yesterday a class of second graders had assigned reading. In the tale a young teacher is reluctant to accept a job transfer. She likes her school. She likes her students. She is happy there. Her husband has no patience with her judging the transfer without experience and drives her to look at the new school. The children were supposed to laugh at the teacher's misconceptions and cheer her discovery that new things can be better than the old, that new experiences can be worth exploring. The children were asked to identify the humorous elements of the tale. One student wrote "I don't think this story is funny. It is about a guy forcing a girl to go somewhere and do things she does not want to. That is not funny." The student went on to cite a passage where the husband orders the wife to get her shoes and get in the car as an example of his dominance and her submission. The frog in the story of male dominance overcame the student's ability to see redeeming aspects in the intended message of personal growth. For some readers, an elevation to Acceptable Media cannot overcome their personal response.

It's My Genre because I read it. Whatever I read, whatever media it falls into, the only genre that can ever matter to me is mine.

Apples To Apples: Why You Care About DRM

2011-09-06T01:27:00.000-04:00

This is an easy one. I've assumed through this that you already understand DRM, or Digital Rights Management. In case you don't, we're going to break that down. See that candy? (Right now, I could totally go for one of those fat frogs in the lower corner.) Imagine you've bought a big old bag of it. Maybe you've been opening the bag and eating a piece here and there. Maybe you've been saving it up. Whatever, it's your candy and you want to eat it. Now imagine that you take a piece of candy out of the bag, put it on a plate, and someone hits your hand. "That's not your candy." Of course it's your candy. You bought it. You saved it. It's yours. "No, it's not." That is the DRM experience, right there.

When you purchase a book (or the right to read a book, actually) it is encoded with security software designed to keep you from giving the file to 100's of your closest friends. Because of that, you cannot change the format of the book. If you buy EPUB (for Sony) or AZW / MOBI (for Kindle) you are locked into that choice forever. Deciding to change readers means buying all of your books over again. Because of DRM, you may find yourself unable to read your books even with that reader attached. Forget a password, have a computer clock error, there are literally dozens of ways your candy will be taken from you. It's absurd. DRM is a far greater impediment to legal book purchasers than it is to book thieves. As long as people make money off DRM, then DRM will be suggested as a helpful tool to publishing, data be damned. Removing DRM is either Not Cool, Illegal, or A No Brainer depending on who you're speaking with. (This issue is going to fall under personal choice.) Adding insult to DRM injury is a little thing called Agency Pricing. We used to call it Price Fixing and it used to be illegal, but now it just means that publishers can charge you the exact same price for a book at every outlet. If a retailer wants to offer you a discount or incentive? Too bad. They can't. Want to buy the book at Target? They can sell it to you for a penny if they want. In e-book format? Full MSRP with no ability to resell or give the book away and no promise that DRM won't (at some point) keep you from reading it. Attractive, huh? Of course there are publishers who do not practice Agency Pricing, and there are publishers who do not use DRM (Carina Press, that means you!). You could stick to their books (or free books) and live a perfectly happy (if restricted) e-reading life. But we both know you won't.

I'm not going to explain DRM removal to you. That's on you to find out, should you choose to do so, because I don't need the legal hassles. I can give you an example of a situation where you might choose to remove DRM even if you feel you would never want to do so. There's a Kindle owner I know who was reading a multi book series. All but one of the books was for sale as MOBI. One volume was inexplicably unavailable. She could buy it elsewhere in EPUB, or she could download it from a pirate site. She chose to buy it in EPUB, strip the DRM, convert it to MOBI with Calibre and load it to her Kindle. She jumped through 5 hoops to make sure the author was paid and she paid a price far above a used or new paper copy. I promise you that was no deterrent to piracy. (Her kid said they would have just picked up the pirated copy since it was less hassle.) So let's assume that you have decided not to lock you (and your books) to one device. Keeping track of your books is light years easier with a program called Calibre.

Calibre is a means to store your books. Think of it as your virtual bookshelf. You can (on DRM free files, files with DRM cannot be changed) modify a cover, assign tags for easy organizing, rate the books or arrange them by series. Calibre will convert whatever format the book is in to whatever format you need it to be in. Step on your Kindle and break it in half? Calibre will convert the AZW file to EPUB for your iPhone to use until you replace your reader. Here is another place your choice of reader is important. Files from iBooks are locked into Apple's DRM tighter than tight. Hope you don't run into any technical problems (On a computer? When does that occur??) because those books are not currently strippable. If you order from Amazon, you shouldn't update your software. When Amazon improves their software they tend to also improve their DRM restrictions. New hoops for the paying consumer. (I just want to eat that frog, I don't want to play Frogger.) When it comes to freeing your file, the big A's are not your friends. However, if all of this gave you a headache, my advice is to go with a Kindle and don't buy more candy than you can eat in one sitting. Make a wish list of stuff you might want to read and buy one book at a go. (It will minimize your losses, even if it doesn't maximize publisher profits.)

Did we cover everything? If we didn't it's going to have to wait. I feel downright fragile from all this thinking. My Courtney Milan Fan Girl card and I are going to spend some quality time with Unclaimed. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Apples To Apples: Which E-Reader Should I Buy?

2011-09-05T02:26:00.002-04:00

I think we've established that there is (at least not yet) One True Reader to rule us all. If you don't mind reading on a backlit screen and don't mind the weight, I prefer using my iPad. I only use my e-ink devices as backup. (It's sort of like having an extra house key in your wallet.)

That said, I wouldn't buy from the iBookstore unless you are 100% sure you are selling your book reading soul to the iThings forever. (We'll get into why I keep harping on DRM in the next post, just know that I'm using my iPad with files from other vendors.) So, iPad for me for the win, but it costs a bajillion and three dollars, weighs a ton, attracts attention, and gives most people headaches. Back to the Other Ones. Obviously I didn't discuss Kobo, Nook, or any of the other readers on the market. (If someone wants to give me one I will be happy to share my thoughts. I already know I kinda hate B&N, so I doubt we'll be talking Nooks soon.)

I Don't Like Using My Computer / I Want To Use A Lot Of Audiobooks / I Like To Knit Cats - Probably the Kindle is going to work for you. (Do you really knit cats? Because I think a knit cat would be kind of awesome. I saw a knit dissected frog once and I was going to give it to my cousin as a wedding gift but... right. E-reading.) Kindle owns ease of use, you don't have to get a computer involved. The only reason you might want to rethink is if you're not willing to use a Kindle forever. Kindle is second only to Apple in aggressive protection of DRM. Unlocking Kindle books requires you to partially cripple your device. If you side-load your Kindle with other retailers books, you won't get the full benefit of the product. That's sad. Kindle is also a great choice for Audible subscribers and low volume readers.

Should I Wait For The Kindle Tablet? That's a price point choice. I don't think the KT is coming out swinging at the iPad, I think it's going for the Nook. Either way, I expect Kindle 3 is going to end up practically free when the KT hits. You might want to wait for that holiday price drop and decide if the KT offers enough Touch to tempt you.

I'm Richie Rich, Bitch / Status Matters To Me / I Want A Multi-tasking Unit - Go ahead, take your bed self out to the Apple store for a shiny new iPad. Actually don't. Buy a refurbished one directly from Apple. Every refurbished item I've gotten has shipped directly from the factory in China and looked brand spanking new. All of them perform like champs with the same warranty and a lower price. Throw Apple Care on there if you're nervous.

Should I Wait For iPad 3? No. Are you kidding? That's in March of 2012 and you're not the kind of person who can wait for things. Buy it now, sell it later and eat the loss. That's kind of how you roll.

I'm Not Ready To Sell My Soul / Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes / I Gotta Get Touched / All My Furniture Comes From Ikea - Don't bother reading on any iThing but the iPad. You'll just break your thumb and spend the money you saved on electronics in healthcare. Get the Sony PRS-350 and call it a day. You might have trouble finding one, honestly. The 350 had a better reputation for reliability than the 650 and given the somewhat fussy attitude of my 350, that's quite a statement. With the new models coming out, these are scarce but can be found for under $130. With the Sony you're gaining public libraries and better book ownership, but you're losing WiFi and 3G book loading. (For now.) As of yet, Sony hasn't been too interested in playing DRM reindeer games so liberating your purchased file isn't exceptionally difficult.

Should I Wait For The Sony T-1? Yes. While the full specs of the upcoming Reader haven't hit, the T-1 could break into the Amazon experience by offering their own version of WhisperSync and computer free loading. If the price point rumors are true, Sony may have realized that positioning themselves at the top of the price market wasn't working. You could end up much happier by waiting. I can't tell you how much happier, Sony isn't calling me. (If you see Sony, could you tell them Angela and I don't want our two dollars back. Just them.) Hey, Sony! Over here! Let's have a play date! I've got cookies!

Brokie McBrokerson Is In The House / Touching Is Not For Me / I Rock My Atari 2600 On Date Nights - The Sony 505 is a perfectly respectable option. While we're probably nearing the battery failure point on some more heavily used units, my refurbished one is still going strong. (Actually, I just kicked Baby to the big curb. That's right. Baby's living at my inlaw's place now. Somebody had to go! It's like the moonwalker at the fair - first in, first out.) if you can pick a Sony 505 up at a decent price, it's probably worth getting. If the price is low enough, it might be a good entry point into deciding if you want to deal with e-reading at all.

Should I Wait For More Information? How should I know? I can show you where the trigger is but you've got to decide when to pull it. I think that e-reading is here and it's here to stay. While I do know a few who have tried e and gone back to p (paper, that is) I know far more who have embraced the e and never looked back. Readers who were telling me just ten months ago that they would never read a book they couldn't huff are sniffing electronic cases happily. (Of course I say I told you so, are you kidding me?) The choice has to be yours. You've been hanging out here long enough. You're curious. Give it a go!

Tuesday(ish) - All About Calibre, or, What Is DRM And Why Won't You Shut Up About It?

Apples To Apples: Reviewing The Kindle 3

2011-09-04T03:06:00.000-04:00

Are we still doing this? (How can we still be doing this?) Ok then. Here we are. Drumroll for the big dog in the fight, the Kindle 3. The Kindle 3 is the reader you buy your grandmother. Ordered from Amazon, it's ready to go out of the box. Picked up at Target, it just takes a few minutes to authorize. The Kindle has some serious weight behind it, so let's talk about it's limitations first. The Kindle has a visual design only it's mother could love. Let's be real, it's ugly. Grey may be my favorite color but carrying a keyboard around at the bottom of my reader... all I can think to compare it to is tying a fanny pack on a chubby teenager. That keyboard is not doing Kindle 3's styling any favors. Adding insult to that injury, the letters are going to wear off the keys fairly rapidly. Sony is correct to place the page turn keys on the base of their units. While the Kindle buttons are smoother to operate, having them on the sides is cumbersome. There's no great place to hold a naked Kindle. Although it is extremely light, I haven't found a position that is both stable and enables one finger swiping of the pages. Mostly I hold it in one hand, hit the button with the other. That's way too much effort for someone like me. (It's probably my tiny mutant hands, but I need some buttons rearranged.)

Other than that, Kindle could eat everyone else's lunch and still have room for dessert. Yes, it's cumbersome not to have Touch after experiencing it with other e-readers and yes, there are some serious limitations in the Amazon interface, but let's not kid ourselves. WhisperSync makes up for a lot. The selling point of the Kindle is that buying and loading books is ridiculously easy. This is true. You want it, you click on it, you have it. There's no need to get out your USB cable, there's no need to shop around. Click. Read. Done. Additionally, if you forget your Kindle on the bus or in your other handbag or at the office, just pull out your iThing or your laptop or whatever you've loaded your Kindle App to and resume reading where you left off. Click. Read. Done. Amazon doesn't need to make the changes that would ensure it's dominion when it already holds that power. No other reader can follow you from device to device at this time. For sheer ease of use the Kindle cannot be beat. While it's plastic case is more prone to breakage than other units, Amazon's customer service handles that easily. Broke your Kindle a day before the warranty ran out? Odds are good you're getting a new one. Day after? I still like your chances. Amazon recognizes that the real value of the Kindle is not the unit you're holding in your hand but the consumer relationship between your wallet and their store. Suddenly remember you forgot to order Aunt Seraphina's 80th Birthday Gift? Use the web browser to connect to Amazon and hook that up before resuming your read. It may not be an elegant or quick browser but it just saved you from having to leave the Lazy-Boy.

Click. Read. Done. and WhisperSync are so attractive that I would leave the better designed Sony product behind if Amazon would make a few changes to it's software. Kindle files everything under The. While you can make collections, it's cumbersome and annoying to do so. Instead of a fetishist joy, building collections is a root canal. You know the longer you put off getting started the worse it will be, but you still avoid it. Making things worse is the lack of WhisperSync for non-Amazon purchases. Did you sideload your previously purchased (now unlocked and converted) Sony library to that Kindle? No WhisperSync for you. Amazon only wants to maintain the library you paid it for. (It's a little ironic that Apple and Amazon are currently facing off over whose closed system can be the tightest. Both of those guys need to loosen up so we could fit more money in their pocket.) The other thing keeping me from Kindle is it's lack of locks. With the Sony and iPad systems I know my companions are too lazy to get a USB cable out and teach themselves how Calibre looks. I can load a reader with the books they wanted, hand it off, and call it a day. While Kindle has the (awesome!) option to link up to six units to one account, it does not let me partition which Kindles see which books. This means your four year old early reader can accidentally download your Erica Jong collection. You can't buy Puppies On Parade without Uncle Joe noticing. You can't even have a special folder marked YOUR BOOKS ARE HERE for when your partner (who still doesn't want an e-reader) borrows your Kindle (again) and asks who needs 360 books in their Archive. (As we all know this leads to said partner researching How To Delete Books From A Kindle Archive and tossing half your books out in their effort to 'help' you find 'things' more easily.)

On paper, Kindle is the perfect lover. In the flesh, it's easy to notice Kindle needs to floss more. I'm not sure what's going to happen to mine. I could de-authorize it and establish a separate account for another user, but that creates needless partitioning issues for my computer and iThings. I could hand it off to another user and tell them not to even think about messing about with the Archive. I could give up Touch and accept only some of my books will be both WhisperSync'd and automatically delivered on release. I'm completely on the fence. If you plan on only buying from one source and you don't like sharing; if you think organizing your books easily is for sissies or buy only a dozen books a year, the Kindle will never make you cry. With it's ease of use for Audiobooks and insanely simple text scaling, it is a huge hit with the older members of my clan. It is not an accident Amazon is dominating this market, but they haven't done so in a way that makes me stop looking at Sony.

Points Of Awesome

No Cable Needed. WiFi or 3G Load Options
Elementary Interface
Customer Service Out The Wazoo
Backed By Internet's Largest Store
MOBI Also Sold Elsewhere
Insane Battery Life
Automatic Loading Of Pre-orders
Limited Loaning
Easy Gifting
Lightweight & Pleasant To Hold
Best Screen For Clear Reading
Built In Support For Audible Books

Points of Bummer

Keyboards
Cumbersome Navigation For Large Libraries
Lack Of Locks
Must Jailbreak To Lose Ugly Screensavers
Lack Of Support From Most Public Libraries
Ugly As Shame
Feels Kinda Cheap
Only Fully Supports Amazon Purchased Product

Monday(ish) - So What Do I Buy?

Tuesday - Why Calibre?

Apples To Apples: Reviewing The Sony PRS-350

2011-09-03T02:39:00.000-04:00

I don't care if it's sex or it's cookies - there are some things in life that are very hard to refuse if you've said yes in the past. Touching your e-reader is absolutely in that category.

My Sony PRS-350 was a true impulse buy. We were planning 6 weeks of travel with a location change every few days. Ordinarily I would have taken the iPad for myself and the Sony 505 for my companions. Events transpired (cue doom and gloom music here) in such a way that I found myself traveling with a lifting restriction. One pound. No more. The iPad itself weighs more than that, never mind adding my passport, the iPad case, my wallet... you get the idea. I decided to borrow a second 505 from my sibling. Because our lives are an O'Henry story, my sibling sold it to make rent. Enter the Sony PRS-350. It fit two criteria; it was lightweight and it was in stock. OK, three. I already knew how to use it. My intention was to sell it after the trip and take whatever loss there was as a rental fee. I still have it. It's (I would say my precious but I absolutely loathe Tolkien) in my handbag as we speak. During our trip I found that my previously beloved 505 felt cumbersome and outdated after using the iPad. Having to press buttons and choose from text selections and all of that was soooooo much work after the ease of the iPad experience. Between the included stylus (that it took me a week to notice, I'm slow like that) and the ability to search my books by cover, the Sony PRS-350 was kicking my 505 to the curb. While not quite as crisp as a Kindle screen, the PRS-350 offered much better resolution than my 505. (Previous touch editions were too fuzzy for my comfort.) Rather than having to buy a pricey cover for the 350, it fit easily into the larger of a Tokidoki for Sephora Passe Pouch set. A selection of which, and I know this will shock you, I already had.

Loading the PRS-350 is the same as a PRS-505. Sony made some welcome improvements to the Reader Store in support of the device but the basic mechanics are unchanged. This is a USB street. My 505 charger didn't work with the PRS-350, but Sony did sell a dedicated charger for wall use. The unit may be significantly smaller than the 505 but the screen is large enough that I never felt like I was reading on an iPhone. It seemed like a mass market paperback, easily held in one hand. While my initial impressions of the touch mechanism were that it was balky and less refined than the Apple experience, part of that was simply needing an adjustment period. By the end of the trip I was at ease with the touch mechanism and reading smoothly. (In many situations I did find it more comfortable to use the navigation buttons for page turns.) Having mechanical controls as well is wonderful when you're in a situation that makes using the touch screen unwise (Powdered sugar happens, ok? It happens!) While initially concerned that the raised edge / curved edge design would make it uncomfortable to use (I'm a lefty) the fit was natural and well balanced.

Design is where Sony excels. Even with the removal of the 505's full metal case (the 350 is made of several materials) the unit feels solid and expensive. The slightly rubberized back reduces slip while the brushed front reduces fingerprints. These are units people thought about. Although the PRS-350 lacks the memory card slots of the larger units, there is more than enough memory for casual use. I loaded around 200 books to mine without filling it up. Aside from a lack of WiFi or 3G support, Sony's main downfall is it's hang time. If you want to delete the notes you made about a book (or anything else) the spinning arrows go on for far too long. Suddenly your beloved partner is some ancient relative screaming "I'm thinking, ok? Keep your pants on!" instead of rushing to meet your needs with the joie de vivre of youth. You may hover between fear that the system has crashed and the knowledge that if you don't wait it out you could trigger a crash where none was occurring. PRS-350 moves at it's own pace. Sometimes that pace suddenly slows to a crawl. The page refresh is not invisible, but fast enough that you quickly become accustomed to it. (Page refresh is when you move to the next page, the screen flashes dark for a moment then returns to normal with the new text.) My PRS-350 is playful. It likes to play a game called Hide The Battery Charge. Sometimes it will tell me the battery has drained and it needs to go to sleep even if I have just fully charged it. Nothing works until I plug it back into my computer. Within moments it laughs and says just playing. We good. Full battery on board. Hey, let's get a snack. While this is rare, it's only fun for one of us and that one is not me.

I believe this is what keeps 350 from overtaking the 505 in people's hearts. Still, because we've gone Touch we can't really go back. Even with it's little quirks, the 350 shoved 505 out of my life. The crisper text, the ability to navigate by finger swipe, the note taking and highlighting ease all combined to make 350 my dominant travel reader. Then someone gave me a Kindle. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? (A really long and certainly boring review of outdated tech I still own, for one thing.) Oh, it's go time around here. With four readers sharing real estate on a desktop meant for a maximum of two, someone is going to hit the curb. It won't be iPad, he's the 800 lb gorilla in this gang. Also, Steve Jobs would beat me up. I know he's super sick and all, but that guy intimidates me. I'm pretty sure his turtleneck hides super secret weapons from the future. C'mon, iThings AND Pixar? No way that's natural.) Hey! This would be a good place for a segue! I know I said we'd talk the upcoming Sony T-1 talk today, but as it's an Android based unit and Amazon is talking about it's Android based Kindle upgrade, I think we're going to talk about them together and later. Probably under What To Buy. (I love spending other people's money. Ask anyone who's stood near me with a wallet.) Also, I asked Sony if they'd pretty please consider giving me one because I am super extra special and they didn't call me back. I think I had the right number. I mean, it's not like Nook answered or something.

Points of Awesome

Small Size Without Sacrificing Reading Experience
Lightweight & Elegant
Good Storage Capacity
Long Battery Life
Touch, Not The Bad Kind
Note Taking, Highlighting
Custom Lock Screens
EPUB (Public Library) Compatible

Points of Bummer

Must Be This USB Connected To Use
Can Be Fickle
Super Extra Slow Compiling Issues
Discontinued Product
Lacks Flavor When You Lick It
Sony Charges $65 For A Stylus

Sunday(ish) - Kindle, All That Or What?

Monday - So What Do I Buy?

Tuesday - Why Calibre?

Apples To Apples: Reviewing The iPod / iPad Reader

2011-09-02T01:15:00.000-04:00

I understand there are people who read on their iPhones or iPods. I do not understand these people. I've read two books on the iPhone and both times I thought it was great for repetitive stress injuries of the thumb. If you're basing your opinion of e-reading on your iPhone experience, stop. It's not fair to either of you. Reading a book on the iPhone is akin to eating with a single chopstick. (You know, last night this dude was telling me that people used to hook up multiple Nintendo Gamecubes into a hybrid home computer. There are things you can do and there are things you should do.) When I was given my shiny iPad I didn't expect to be replacing my Sony 505. The iPad is cumbersome to carry around on errands, difficult to balance in one hand, and impossible to use in direct sunlight. I also expected it to cause eyestrain, headaches, a return of the Salem witch trials and psoriasis. (While I still don't know exactly what psoriasis is, the trials thing is totally happening!)

I'm a night reader. I do 85% of my reading in bed or on the sofa so not needing a light source made the iPad a much better option than the Sony 505. People in my home (who are very, very sensitive to peas no matter how many mattresses you lay atop them) claimed the click of the Sony 505's page turn was impossible to sleep through. Pretty soon I found myself doing most of my reading on the iPad and just leaving the Sony 505 in my bag for emergencies. Reading on the iPad is a whole entire thing. Depending on which model you purchase an iPad will either store half a gazillion books or a gazillion and three. The iPad also offers the previously undreamed of ability to display books in color. This means cookbooks, comic books, magazines, all sorts of media that isn't very exciting at scaleable e-ink greyscale is super extra sexy on the iPad (as long as you stay indoors, clean your screen fairly frequently and make sure any ambient light isn't causing your face to reflect into the center of the page). While the iPad is crazy heavy compared to other devices, it's roughly the same as an average hardcover book. The page refresh is faster and feels more natural than the page refresh of an e-ink device. You flick your finger and the page moves - your brain is used to that.

The first choice a reader using an iPad has to make is which app to use. There are more reading apps than there are petals on a dandelion. Kindle will transfer your Amazon e-books directly to your iPad with all of the glorious ability to browse by full color cover intact, but categorizing them can be cumbersome and annoying. iBooks will give you a fairly easy interface to categorize your books (again, full color browsing intact) but it isn't very elegant. Once you get your permissions to agree (if you're working with DRM) it's a decent no-frills option for your EPUB and PDF files. Don't confuse iBooks with using the iBookstore. The iBookstore is the single worst place to buy a book in the history of books, even including German train stations. The iBookstore is so bad it makes me think Apple wants to hurt me. Friends don't let friends shop at iBookstore. Even after I switched to reading on the iPad I kept buying books from other sources. (I don't even download free books from iBookstore.) Granted, the iBookstore interface has greatly improved since launch. Adding it to the iTunes store was tempting, but Apple's extra special DRM is more than I care to deal with. Books purchased in the iBookstore cannot be transferred to my Sony devices. Books bought from Sony or Amazon can be transferred to my iPad. Holy no brainer, Batman.

Picking your reading app is a lot like picking out your shoes. Put some on your feet and see what you think. For me, using Calibre to load my books and Sony or Amazon to purchase them has been the best solution. Frankly, I buy from Sony (or various publishers directly, or Books On Board) far more than I do from Amazon. The Amazon ease of use is offset by a weird increase in typos or editing errors. For some reason conversions to MOBI are less carefully proofed than conversions to EPUB. (Download a few dozen free book samples and you'll probably run across this.) Another pitfall with the iPad is everything else it can do. Hit a boring chapter? Suddenly you're on Twitter or surfing the internet or playing Tetris and it's an hour later. An abundance of choice can lead to a scarcity of consumption. Still, if iBooks were DRM free and I never needed to read outdoors, the iPad would be a strong contender for the One True Device. Browsing books by cover and turning pages with a finger flick is a very natural reading experience, making it easy to forget you are not holding a paper book.

Points of Awesome

No Light Required
Large Capacity
Natural Page Turns
No Buttons, Swipe With Finger
Supports Kindle via WiFi
Loads From iTunes
Color Screen
Large Format

Points of Bummer

Much Shorter Battery Life Than Alternatives
Cumbersome
All Those Distracting Apps
Super Sucky DRM Issues
Avoid Direct Sunlight (And Garlic)
Pricey McPricerton
Not Handbag Friendly
Causes Eyestrain In Some Users

Tomorrow - The Sony PRS-350 & T-1 Thoughts

Sunday - Kindle, All That Or What?

Monday - So What Do I Buy?

Tuesday - Why Calibre?

Apples To Apples: Reviewing The Sony PRS-505

2011-09-01T03:12:00.000-04:00

In the Apples to Apples comparisons I'm going to keep it pretty straightforward. Don't worry, we're not talking "This is based on Linux" serious, let's not get crazy. More of a "Here's how we use this bad boy" instead of "Sony 505 and I make sweet, sweet love while looking at pictures of puppies." (Oh c'mon. Like you've never sneaked a peek at the puppy cams.)

Sony launched the E-Reader in the early 90's with the Data Discman. (I distinctly recall seeing it in the store and saying "Cha-yea-right. Who's going to read books on a screen?" This is why I am not living on my own private island. That and I never met Richard Branson.) You would think Sony would own the market, but some key choices put Amazon on top. (I'll get to all that when we talk Kindle.) The Sony PRS-505 has held up as the gold standard for E-Reading. Despite being replaced by multiple updated units, the 505 still commands roughly $100 USD on ebay. Consider it the fetish piece of current e-readers. While a generation behind the most current e-ink screens the 505 offers a reading experience close to a printed mass market book. (Let's not kid ourselves, some of those paper pages are downright fuzzy). This was the first e-reader with a high enough resolution to make me consider jumping into the e-book world. From a design perspective, this is the Mercedes to other e-reader's Yugo. Brushed metal cases are well fitted with smooth and responsive buttons. The two memory card slots (I have a 4 GB SD card in mine) are nicely recessed to avoid trapping dirt. The 505 can be finicky on occasion - mine has crashed twice. Both times a hard reset brought it back, but without connectivity a hard reset means waiting until you can access your computer to reload your books.

Here is the 505's Achilles Heel - The Loading of Books. Angela James of Carina Press has been open on Twitter about the Sony Reader Store software refusing to install on her Mac. A major editor for the ebook only branch of a major publishing firm can't use your software? That's a (major) problem. When I obtained my 505 it didn't support Mac. We had some growing pains at first. After the Mac update, it was pretty smooth. I don't find the Reader Store software particularly versatile. I found myself switching to Calibre for file management. (Let's make file management it's own entry, since that is like, omgsoboringIwanttodie and all. For the purposes of these posts you have DRM free files that you maintain with Calibre. Ok? Ok.) The Sony 505 requires a USB connection and the ability to navigate (with DRM) Adobe, the Sony Reader Store, and basic file loading. This won't work for your 87 year old grandmother who pounds on the keys wondering why the laptop won't change the television channels. (Not your grandma. She could totally sudo my root tree, I give you that. Some other dude's grandma. My bad.) Without DRM, it's plugging the 505 into your computer and having Calibre feed it lots of yummy noms. Until the memory runs out.

The PRS-505 has the attention span of, well, me. You're going to need that SD card. Once you are using an SD card any category of books (ie tags you've given your files - like That Junk My Sister Reads or Books Where Everyone Dies And I Cry A Lot) that is also being used by a book in your main memory will duplicate itself. This means you will have 3 books in Super Hawt Reads About Puppies listed and right below that the same category will have 1 book listed. This is crazy annoying when your partner opens the collection labeled Here Is YOUR Stuff On MY Reader Because YOU Keep Saying You Don't Want One LOSER and complains they can't find the book they just loaded. (Pro-Tip: It's in the collection on the next page, the one with the same name.) An easy workaround is to give up the storage in the main memory and put all your books on the SD card. Do not fiddle with the SD card. If you lose it on the bus and find yourself stuck in traffic without any books in the main memory you will cry silent tears of regret. People will think you're the crazy homeless person that rides all day and drop nickels in your tote bag. It won't help.

Ok, so we've loaded our 505 via USB cable from the computer, we've checked out our library books or purchased them from a friendly e-pub seller near us, we've organized them into easy to find collections and tossed a few pictures onto the 505 for custom screen saver action. Now what? Now nothing. You're done. The battery life on this thing is insane. You can charge the PRS-505 roughly once a month (sometimes less) via the USB cable or a wall charger. Sony sold a charger for way too much money so I use a third party PSP wall charger that works perfectly. I've dropped it, set things on it, tossed it to rattle around the bottom of my purse and handed it off to my kids. The text navigation is easy to use and the learning curve ends with Get My Freaking Books To Open Class (also called DRM 101). It's workhorse nature is why the 505 lives on after it's been taken out to pasture and shot as a product line. This is a well designed reliable reader. So why did I kick it to the curb? (Ok, the tween's backpack, but still.) Stay Tuned.

Points of Awesome

Reliable
Expandable Memory
Long Battery Life
Intuitive Controls
Many Public Libraries Support Format
Beautiful Design
Decent Page Refresh Time

Points of Bummer

Must Be At Computer To Load
Requires Adobe
No WiFi / 3G Support
Internal Memory Small
Loading From The SD Card Slower
Discontinued Product

Tomorrow - iPod or iPad?

Saturday - The Sony PRS-350 & T-1 Thoughts

Sunday - Kindle, All That Or What?

Monday - So What Do I Buy?

Tuesday - Why Calibre?

Tokidoki Is My Higher Power Now

2011-08-31T16:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, that's not a book. (Technically, it's a book bag.) I'm backdating this a day so it won't (I hope) clutter your feed but my thoughts on the new Tokidoki Fall / Winter 2011 bags were too long for the message board I frequent. We'll be back to books and ways to read them right after this. I totally promise. You can trust me. While I have an absolutely absurd amount of Tokidoki items, how do often to I talk to you about them? (Define absurd? Um.. a skateboard deck, 4 hoodies, a couple dozen t-shirts, a couple dozen toys, 11 cosmetic pouches, 4 hairbrushes, 5 plush items, at least 35 handbags, 2 backpacks, 4 wallets... Hey! You're judging!! I don't feel safe discussing this with you. My bank account and I are leaving.) First up, this new Mini Crossbody bag. The size is roughly the same as the LSS Ciao. The two pockets on the front are versatile, most of my e-readers fit in the taller one. The main section has a zip compartment of it's own for stashing your wallet or stranger's hotel keys. (Or your hotel key and a stranger's wallet? Whatever works. Not my business.) On the opposite interior side there are two pouch pockets as well.

As you'll see, the lining is a lot like the current Sephora interiors. Interestingly, the company hasn't gone with the very popular nylon material used on the last two Passe Pouch sets. The bags are a polyester that gives off a slight shine. The material is soft, but I wonder about it's durability. There won't be any scrubbing of these bags with a Clorox Bleach Pen after you drop a slice of pizza on it. I can see these eventually showing wear in a way the other bags didn't. I could be completely wrong about that, it's the impression the material gives. I do like the feel. Colors really stand out on this print making it a bag that needs to be seen in person to fully appreciate. The cording on the sides has also changed. Instead of using the Pantera Print as older bags do, the new side cording is Pleather. I hate this choice. While it's visually neutral, I tend to damage pleather easily. Hopefully I won't snag or scratch it. The transition to plastic zippers I have mixed feelings about. They won't rust, they may even prove more durable, but I still prefer the Riri Rainbow. I do find the plastic zipper an improvement on the stiff metal silver zipper of the last few runs. Put the zipper down as a wash.

Tokidoki has decided to include a dust cover with each purse. Praise the biscuits and pass the butter. Made of a woven material familiar to anyone with inexpensive reusable shopping totes, the dust covers are sized to fit the bags perfectly. I wish I could order these in custom sizes for my past bags. Love This So Much. I think at MSRP $69 this bag is well priced for the quality changes they've made and a decent impulse buy for Tokidoki fans. I also ordered the Double Handle. (Love the naming of these bags. It's like, "This is my bag, Bob" instead of the naming in the past which was "Meet Alfonzo Romanatski! He's fancy!" I think I'm gonna call it Love, because Double Love Handle is often how I roll.) Love is about the same size as a Graziosa, just slightly larger than a Stellina, but with a much better capacity than either of the other two bags.

My new favorite bag size is the Double Handle. With one outer zipped pocket and three zippers across the top, this handbag is ridiculously easy to organize. The center section is the deepest and widest, offering what could be packing space for a gym trip or a sweater. One outer section has two pockets (like you would find in a Carino) and the other outer section has a zipper pocket. While the Double Handle looks small compared to a Graziosa, it easily fits my iPad in it's Zazzle case. I want a Double Handle in every print ever made. At MSRP $140 it's not quite the what the hell purchase of the Mini Crossbody, but it's great styling and perfect size makes it worth skipping a few months of Starbucks. (Wait - I don't drink coffee.) I could see using this bag as an everyday workhorse for a variety of situations. Absolute home run for me. Except I have to return it.

Click Here For A Fabric Close-Up

Sadly, my Double Handle has a crooked name plate. It would drive me crazy trying to straighten it, especially since it's riveted in place. Tokidoki responded to my email on this in about 4 minutes, promising to exchange it quickly and with the "exact same bag". I'd tell them I'm not that high maintenance but I am. I totally and completely am. (This is where you protest. You're not working with me at all today.) I really love the back of this handbag, the pattern placement was just about perfect. I'm just going to trust in Simone, Ivan and my new pal Kevin to bring Handbag Happiness to my life. Tokidoki is my higher power.

Let's close this out with a quick size comparison photo. It I didn't cover something you wanted to know about the bags, ask me here or in the forum of choice. I think Comics is a great print it would be a shame to miss. Favola went so quickly that I never got the Carino placement I wanted, but my unused Carino is paying for my Double Handle, so I can't be too bitter. (I know! It's like it's not even english!) On the adorability meter Comics is off the chart. It reminds me of Citta in it's long distance appearance while being an obvious use of the best of Sephora's Robbery print. I'm not crazy about the Royal Pride yet their use here is so clever I wouldn't want to do without them. Simone Legno's bags are at their best when he's playing around with his characters instead of randomly smacking them on a background. I like almost everything about this collection even as I wish it had a slightly higher price point so the zippers and trim were back to Riri and leather. On the other hand, at a higher price point it's probably a lower sell-through for the company. You give and the economy takes. More detail pictures (including interiors) are on my Flickr Account for those interested (and you know who you are).

The Mini Crossbody and Double Handle pictured for size comparison with a Citta Bocce and Eco Mondo Graziosa

Review: Second Grade On The Left by Darynda Jones

2011-08-30T13:26:00.000-04:00

Darynda Jones is my new cracktastic author of choice.

Like I've said before, the Charley Davidson series has some logistical issues but it's hard to nit pick when the delivery is so delicious. If there isn't such a thing as Paranormal Noir, then Darynda Jones is busily inventing it. Smart and smart of mouth Charley is the perfect private detective for complicated cases filled with shadowy figures. Nicely balancing her superhuman skills are all too human family issues that blindside Charley when she least expects it. Even the Grim Reaper needs a hug sometimes.

Jones is also adeptly delivering a demon saga that even a Christian could love. (I got a little nervous when the Jehovah Witnesses showed up, but Jones pulled just short of mocking them. Well, more than Charley mocks anyone.) In this chapter Charley is searching for her missing boyfriend (the actual Son of Satan), a missing person (possibly connected to a major murder) and a decent night's sleep (not anytime soon). Jones keeps the revelations in each story coming fast enough to keep the reader guessing. Resolving enough to satisfy, but leaving a bit on the hook for the next book, she's mastered the compulsive read.

Many paranormal books want to be Buffy The Vampire Slayer. With the Charley Davidson series Jones has captured the essence of that show's appeal without copying any of it's details. Keeping her read hot but not making it explicit, she aims for a wide range of readers. I'm not sure what HBO* is going to do with Charley, since she's a serial flirt but a one demon girl. In fact, I'm still not entirely sure that Charley ends up with Reyes. While he maintains he's a bad boy going good, Charley is too strong and self reliant to offer herself up to the wrong side. He's going to have to work a little harder to convince her that he wants to side with the angels. (Then again, Charley hasn't met any angels. Ouch. I apologize. Spend some time with Charley Davidson and the bad jokes come naturally.)

Charley is officially my good time girl for the duration. She can take the Grim out of Reaper for as long as she wants.

*HBO has not optioned this series, but they should. True Blood wishes it was this fun.

An Embarrassment of Riches

2011-08-29T15:05:00.002-04:00

I've been given a Kindle.

Right? I could hate me too. Trust me when I say I am very deserving and these things could not happen to a nicer girl. Or boy. Or plurality of people. I am just that wonderful. Really. Fine. Hate me. I can't be the boss of you when I am too busy being the boss of all this stuff.

I wondered how to approach this - if I did a review of the Kindle I would be comparing it to the Sony 505 (Baby), the Sony 350 (UnNamed), the iPad (Ozy) and my new Kindle (UnNamed2). How long would a Sony vs Sony vs Kindle vs iPad post be? Um, really long! I think what I am going to do is summarize the pros and cons of each device (for reading) in a series of posts over the next few days. I think all the readers on the market have their niche (except for the ones that suck) and there is no One True Reader To Rule Them All anyway (I hate that series).

Tomorrow (ish) I will run down a device. Over the course of this week I will cover all of these bad boys and what I like or hate about each one in a shortish format. This may be ground others have tread before me. (I like a well trodden path, less likely to turn an ankle.) I'll tell you that my initial impression of the Kindle is that they barely missed the boat of being the One True Device. Makes me wonder what their tablet is going to look like.

Review: Quinn by Iris Johansen

2011-08-28T16:26:00.003-04:00

This one sucks. It's rare that I say a book was a complete waste of my time. Quinn was not only a waste of that time, it made me feel my investment in the Eve Duncan series was misguided. I'll address Quinn as a book first.

Quinn jumps through times, events and people so quickly that readers will need to have read Eve (at the very least) to keep up. Divided roughly into thirds, the first third deals with the meeting of Joe and Eve, the second with the people surrounding them at present, and the last with a relationship between a side character and Bonnie's father. Ending with a sharp cliffhanger, Quinn offers no resolution for a one book reader and little plot advancement for a long time fan. Johansen's work has been very erratic for the last few years. Quinn easily belongs in the bottom tier of her work. While Quinn hits paperback in November, (just four months after it's hardcover release) I suggest skipping this volume entirely and continuing on (if you must) to Bonnie.

All of that said, it's time for some spoilers. In this recasting of the first meeting of Eve and Joe, Joe finds himself in love with Eve scant days into their acquaintance. While the staple of instant attraction is an old one in romance the long time reader will recall that at one point Joe Quinn was married. Subsequent books hinted that Joe had married simply to provide Eve with female companionship, but this version of their relationship makes that explicit. Joe's wife does not exist in Quinn, he has not even met her. This means at some point Joe is going to knowingly seduce and wed a woman he does not love and then express anger at her when she is jealous of his unexpressed feelings for Eve. It is not a case of Joe not having recognized how he felt about Eve when he married, he knows it. Our hero is going to completely tank some woman's life as he tries to help Saint Eve find Bonnie of Nazarene. Also, all that stuff where he pulls the class card on Eve during her relationship with John Logan? Joe is rich too. He might not be a billionaire, but he is a trust fund baby. Nice. Ok, so now that we've blasted a hole through the interpersonal dynamics of the early books we can move on.

Quinn is so far removed from the Eve Duncan I fell in love with. This series is like an abusive relationship for me. Every time I try to leave the carrot of resolution is held out. (I swore off Eve Duncan books right before this trilogy was announced. With Eve I thought we were nudging closer to the right track, but Quinn is off the rails.) When we first met Eve she was a hard working recluse who was driven by her work to resolve deaths for other families. Remember her? When is the last time Eve worked on anything? Saint Eve brings all the crime lords to her yard as she dips into the world of mercenaries, psychics and sadistic killers without finding her daughter or a grave for herself. People meet Eve and they are willing to give their lives for her. Eve, carrying the standard for Bonnie of Nazarene, charges blindly into every fray. Bonnie started out as a cute kid whose unsolved murder was the catalyst for her mother's valuable career as a forensic artist. Now she appears to people in psychic visions and is a perfect shining beacon of light. She can lead the dying back to life, instruct the living on their next move, and sing songs to captured prisoners across the world. If she had a loaf, she'd turn it into fish. She isn't a kid anymore, she's a cult leader.

This is another problem. When we met Eve and her daughter they were normal people in a tragic situation working toward improving the lives of other victims. Now Eve commands a multinational task force, seemingly unlimited government resources, and the belief that she can judge who lives or dies. She's a tyrant. These same shadowy government types working all around her have lifted this hard working single mother to an iconic figure. From drug lord to psychic to man on the street, Eve Duncan has only to speak to them to enslave. It's all a bit much. Her child's murder will turn into a kidnapping as her "special, special, Bonnie" is shown to be some sort of super human used for nefarious purposes by those same government agents. The reason she can't find Bonnie's grave is that there isn't one. I will bet you that right now.

Perhaps I could accept this shift of narrative if it were more smoothly executed. Instead Quinn is filled with clunky conversations and long passages where motivations are told repeatedly instead of shown once. People are presented as ideas and abilities border on the superhuman. Motivations shift. Tracking down who she believes to be Bonnie's murderer, Eve's friend Catherine pauses to wonder if she will kill him or sleep with him. No, really, she does. She thinks she's on the track of an unstable child killer, she has left her own recently returned child behind, and she rolls about in Gallo's sheets 'sensing him' (even though others have been sleeping in the bed and the sheets are fresh) while wondering if they will be lovers. These have become some sick individuals.

Review: The Many Sins of Lord Cameron by Jennifer Ashley

2011-08-25T01:14:00.000-04:00

People love this book. I get it.

I waited a few weeks to review The Many Sins of Lord Cameron because explaining my negative feelings about it requires spoiling some key plot elements. I should probably wait a bit longer (fans of the book will suggest forever) but I'm going to take the plunge. I'll tell you when we get to the spoilery bits. River Song is really... (no, I'm just kidding).

Right, so Dr. Who references aside, here is what I loved about The Many Sins of Lord Cameron. In Ainsley we have a very original heroine. She's doing the whole friend of the Queen thing, but she's doing it for money instead of love. Ainsley is the widow of a much older husband whom she both respected and slept with (is that a spoiler or just a shocker?) and now she runs sensitive errands for Queen Victoria. Ainsley is interesting. She's also a bit inconsistently drawn, but only a bit. If the whole book hung on my feelings about Ainsley we'd be sitting pretty right now. Cameron carries over well from his previous appearances. He's still treating women like Kleenex while haphazardly single parenting an overly precocious son. (Bonus points for the way said son tries to parent his father. That rings true and shows he's got some tightly packed baggage of his own.) So, consistent Cameron and appealing Ainsley should make a perfect evening, right? Here comes the plot revealing part of this. Meaning now. Duly warned!

It's Scottish Romance meets Telenovela. Cameron's dead wife wasn't just crazy. She was maniacal played by Jack Nicholson we'll sell you the whole seat but you only need the edge crazy. Cameron in an abusive relationship? Sure. His wife being manic, or bipolar, or suffering from postpartum depression? I'm right there with you. A completely unhinged sexually voracious suicidal murderess who sodomizes him with a poker? Um, make up your mind? Cameron is afraid to sleep with women because his wife repeatedly attacked him despite his attempts to confine her or protect himself. It's the repeatedly that gets you. Sure, she shoved a poker up my ass, maybe even a few times, but that's no reason to lock her up away from the kid and me, is it? Sure, she's crazy as all hell and sleeps around when she's not lying to my face, but I have to keep her close just in case she's having my kid! My crazy dad was still alive, so my options were limited! It's a bit much to ask of the reader. Yes, there are people that crazy and there are people that live with them, but I wasn't willing to believe it of this group.

Adding to that, you've got what borders on a bad case of Magical Romney. Why can't people just have met? Why does someone have to have saved someone's life? Why does one side of the equation have to be servile (yet appropriately disrespectful) to the other? Then you've got the mustache twirling bad guy who lives only for profit, unless that profit is made from a a Scottish purse, in which case he'd rather try to... I couldn't even follow it. There's this horse, right? And this crazy dude wants to race it so he bullies Cameron into training it. Horse doesn't win, guy ramps up the bullying, but Cameron is just training the horse because he likes it. Guy won't sell the horse because Cameron is Scottish. Guy wants the horse to win so he can sell it. Cameron says name your price and the guy refuses because, again, no doing business with a Scotsman that you're already doing business with. Guy isn't just mean to horses and a bad businessman, he's a bigot! Because no one in this book ever says "Eh, WTF, let's find something else to worry about." No, they have Epic And Unsolveable Problems. Of course, it's Ainsley who makes the shocking realization that someone else could buy the horse. Someone who (wait for it) isn't Scottish! You can see why the Queen trusts her to deal with blackmailers and stuff.

Victoria is her own issue. Depending on the needs of the plot Ainsley is either entirely at her beck and call or able to freely leave her side. When the queen is utterly displeased with Ainsley and sends her away, Ainsley responds by making physical contact with the queen and speaking freely. You know, as you do with a boss you just totally pissed off. You give them a smooch and a few words of advice while they're firing your ass. (I don't think Ainsley is going to be eligible for rehire). I didn't hate The Many Sins of Lord Cameron, but I struggled to finish it. The flaws were not enough to put me off the series. I'll be back for the next chapter. I hope it's a bit calmer than this one. I'm an old(ish) woman. I can only take so much drama without a nice lie-down.

Review: One Night In London by Caroline Linden

2011-08-22T11:16:00.012-04:00

* Teal is the new pink.

One Night In London might have the WTF cover of the year. From the pearls draped just so in her cleavage to the frankly awkward pose, this is a cover Anonymous would use. Perhaps we should have a contest - what activity is our heroine engaged in? It's obviously less than enjoyable - look at her face. She's not quite certain she wants to move forward with whatever it she's currently doing. I tried the pose and considered the options. It wasn't a pretty assortment.

One Night In London was my first Caroline Linden read, or at least the first that I can recall. This one is definitely a Mixed Bag, but the book has good bones. (Courtney Milan did the bigamous father better.) Linden is stretching her resolution over several books, a tactic I find annoying. Story points arcing through several books is fine, but there has to be enough advancement for reader satisfaction. (Alternatively, the heroine's custody plot is exceptionally well done and fully resolved.)

I like Francesca. She's a bit of a user, but that's ok. (Francesca has a friend without benefits. She leans on him heavily, hangs with him constantly, then gets irritated that he loves her.) She's got a serious temper and flirts with social ruin (A woman planning a custody fight!) but she's fair. Her frustration in the face of the twin obstacles of social class and gender are understandable. Anyone who has ever been helpless in a custodial situation would relate. Edward is the family fixer. You know the one, thinks he controls it all, pretends his ducks are neatly aligned, the whole time frantic not to drop any of the things he's juggling. His older brother is the drunken party animal, his younger the man of action type. Edward makes sure the bills are covered. He is all about understanding, until his fiancee defies his comprehension. I liked him too.

So here we have sympathetic adult characters engaged in high stakes situations (gaining custody of a child, proving their legitimacy and saving their family home) but ultimately end up with a hot and cold read. I'm pretty open about being a skimmer. It's a rare sex scene I will read. One Night In London is not weighed down with sex, but when it arrives it's a story stopper. They thud onto the page and seem to last forever. Skimming, I was thrown out of the story wondering how much longer they'd be going at it. This wasn't the rare book I read every page of, but I'd expected it to be. I still think One Night In London is worth the time, but the twin flaws of extended climaxes and lack of primary plot satisfaction keep me from loving it. My TBR Lindens have moved to the front of the stack, I like her willingness to embrace flawed heroines.

Review: Carnivale by HBO

2011-08-18T23:32:00.000-04:00

Ok, this wasn't in my book bag.

The thing is, it's rare to find a work as detailed as Carnivale. The casting is so perfect, the myth so well assembled, that I am willing to forgive it being so celebratory of rape culture. On the surface, Carnivale seems anti-woman. As the show progresses, we come to understand that the women are central. (It doesn't resolve Babylon, one of the most haunting and disturbing hours ever filmed, but it mitigates a lot.) Carnivale is also very white world. All the major players are white, all the minor players are white. If you want a minority you can choose from whores or tribal dancers. (And did I mention rape?) Yet I still loved it.

The basic set up is that during America's Dustbowl the forces of good and evil came to a major clash. The pace is as slow as the times with sudden shocking bursts of momentum. Events shift in and out of focus, motivations and allegiances are rearranged with each revelation. What keeps Carnivale from collapsing under it's own ambition are the actors. This is a remarkable work. As a human character study Carnivale is perfection itself. Late in the series a character (Samson, played by one of my favorite actors, Michael J. Anthony) is challenged for hypocrisy. Why will he undertake an action for one person but not another when the stakes are unchanged? "He was my friend. You ain't." Exactly. In the land of Carnivale, in the human fight between good and evil, the personal is what matters. Personality dominates morality.

Carnivale is not without flaws. Aside from rape and race there are moments where characters should challenge each other but do not. As most of this occurs late in the second season, I suspect cancellation was upon them and the push to tie the series off was strong. While I had heard the ending was a sharp cliffhanger, I disagree. Obviously written while hoping for a renewal, Carnivale's ending is perfectly suited to the tale it tells. There are no full stops in the struggle of light versus dark, there can be no true resolution. The big wheel has to keep turning or the ride is over.

I think Carnivale is well worth the time. It's opening titles are unsurpassed, it's visuals are exceptionally well conceived and it's acting is largely perfection. There are exceptionally dark moments but rarely gratuitous ones. (Again, accepting it is super white and rapey.) I found that watching too many episodes in a row was bad for me. Like potato chips it was hard to stop cramming them down, but without a break I felt sick for days. Carnivale could easily be rebooted, the action moved forward a few years, the actors returned to their marks. It is a series you never forget with plenty to fire the imagination. Or you could hate it. That's the beauty of a Carnivale, it's all in the eye of the beholder.

Review: Record Collecting For Girls by Courtney E. Smith

2011-08-15T00:22:00.001-04:00

I feel bad about this review and I haven't even written it yet. Let's preface everything by saying I hope between the time I write this (May) and the book's release (September) the publisher seriously reconsiders both the marketing and the cover copy. Record Collecting For Girls absolutely fails to deliver what it promises.

On the positive side, the design is fantastic. Arresting, visually assertive, all around excellent cover work. As well, the first chapter is fantastic. While reading it I was planning who to buy the book for at Christmas, who'd talk with me about it first. It was the proverbial hit single of a dog album. The rest of Record Collecting For Girls took me from irritation to rage and then to resigned disillusionment. The cover promises "Unleashing Your Inner Music Nerd One Album At A Time," It also vows "Gives Readers Tips For Curating A Real Record Collection." That bit is a complete joke. Smith doesn't believe in record collections, she believes in Hype Machine and extra hard drives and pirating singles instead of evaluating albums. Her records and CDs have been boxed for years, by book's end she is discarding them. This is not a girl's guide to a broad appreciation of music, it's a long recitation of the romantic failings in Smith's life and what she chose to listen to while she got over them. Let's go chapter by chapter.

Record Collecting For Girls will sell a lot of copies as a Kindle sample. It's funny, focused, and correct in stating music conversation is dominated by the male perspective. Someone should take this chapter and write the book it belongs in.
Top Five Lists does feel like a springboard to a real conversation about music as Smith explains how (to hold her own with boys) she came to her cutting edge choices of Elvis Costello, REM, Sleater-Kinney, Stevie Nicks and Fiona Apple. Here, among all these (white) critical darlings, you start to realize that you're going to Epcot instead of on a World Tour. (Fiona, Stevie, not your fault.)
Where Have All The Girl Bands Gone? Mixing a small bit of info about the Go-Go's with an assertion that The Bangles were underrated Smith takes a drive by at Phil Spector's influence and name drops some early punk and post Lilith Fair without really exploring much of it. Sex sells. Unless you're the Dixie Chicks.
My Scrobble, Myself. How to see what boys like to listen to and evaluate what you're listening to.
Making Out With Romeo And Juliet. How to decide what to play while trying to get laid, by a boy, and how to impress that boy (never a girl I guess) with your fine taste in music without scaring him off with your mad taste in music and a little bit about how soundtracks are compiled. Plus, boys (not girls) and making out.
Guilty Pleasures. Smith feels if you don't have a guilty pleasure you're pompous or boring. She likes the Pussycat Dolls. She thinks you should like what you like unless it's the Black Eyed Peas and then you shouldn't.
The Smiths Syndrome. Where to start? Pick a band, then refuse to ever date anyone who likes that band because they are all the same. To back this up, (Why are we still talking about dating? When do we really talk about music, it's evolution, or crafting a course of personal study?) she declares that all avid Smiths fans are mommy's boys obsessed with serial killers. Wow. That's so offensive and wrong I'm not sure how to articulate it. As an avid Smiths fan (by her criteria) and one of Moz (although I am currently boycotting him) as well I must say I can't agree. Nor do the male Smiths fans I know discuss serial killers, concern themselves with serial killers or wear pompadours. And yes, we do travel long distances to see Moz. Hey, that's her world, she can live there. Nothing to me.
Give It To Me For Free shows Smith claiming that free music sells music. While I agree with that assertion, it's hard to take it seriously amid her repeated urgings that we get all our music from Hype Machine.
Are We Breaking Up? Smith has music she likes to listen to when boys dump her or she dumps boys. She'd give up on boys but she still wants someone to pay half her bills. (No, really.) This chapter caused my partner to say "If this is how women discuss music it's amazing Joan Jett can stand to be a lesbian."
The Next Madonna holds Madonna up as awesome. For all her flashing of her indie music creds and bragging on the width of her musical knowledge, Smith spends all her time in the top of the pops. Is Britney the next Madonna? Is Gaga? Why is Madonna herself? Let's talk about these three white girls a lot. I suppose the many women who worked in music during Madonna's career can never matter as much as Madonna. Let's just move on.
Music Blogs Are Just Dadaist Conversation. Smith feels people are inadequate when they write about music. (The jokes write themselves here.) You should find some blogs and download lots of free music to see what you like. Maybe even set up an RSS feed to amass more music than you can practically listen to. (Waiting for the bit about buying music to show back up, but it doesn't.) All free and semi legal, she says. While I am not against music blogs (I use plenty) it's a bit both sides of the mouth, her position on paying for your tunes. Don't archive records or CDs, amass free tracks - and then what? Buy legal copies of the mp3s?
Our Song, Your Song, My Song is a way to talk MORE about dating. Having established in the intro that a problem with women breaking into music is their quality being viewed through the lens of male attraction, we now view our music as it relates to attraction. (That's deep, huh?) How do you know if it's your song? What if it was already their song? Let's talk even more about the authors love life, because this book isn't really about music and how to love it, explore it, understand it - this book is about the author and boys.
The Death of the Record Collection - Oh yes she does.
Adventures in Second Live shows Smith doesn't just use RSS feeds, MTV freebies and the like - she also enjoys hard to find sections of online gaming. Because it's hard to find, it's awesome.
Rock'N'Roll Consorts. At first I thought Smith had tired of talking about her own sex life and was moving on the sex life of others, but really she wanted to talk more about hers. First we talk about how ick groupies are (never mind she is mostly judging a woman from the 1960's who experiences a culture and state of mind that Smith shows no real interest in exploring) and how kinda ick wives are and how no one should ever get involved with men (or girls?) in rock because they all suck and will do you wrong like this rock guy did her.
Beatles VS. Stones is based on someone having told her that girls who like the Stones will bang you. It's like the black guy in the bar telling you he only dates white women because they (insert offensive assumption here) but Smith runs with it, explores it, talks at length about how the Stones and Beatles being at odds were just marketing ploys (you don't say) and the Stones are icky because they are too old to perform those songs and should just retire and stop trying to make money. Ageism on parade, but I think the Stones fans won't be bothered.
Down The Music K-Hole! This is it! We're going to discover how to expand our musical preferences! How to move from one genre to another! How to discover new sounds! What types of things might.... oh wait, we're just going to say "go to a web site and hit some buttons and listen to some stuff and mostly just listen to Prince cause I think he's awesome." Except we're going to do it with Choose Your Own Adventure stylings (or automated customer service phone menus).
Acknowledgements - This book was a dream and so many people helped her make it. This I totally believe.

I am sure Smith is a lovely women. If I had approached this as "My Years At MTV" or "The Guys I Dated And The Music We Listened To" I am certain my reading experience would have been different. Perhaps not totally different, but different all the same. Instead, I was expecting a conversation about music, how to love it, how to evaluate it, what to do to expand yourself, how to build your tastes, and I got an awful lot about how Smith can't find a nice boy to open a joint account with. I can't say either of us are better for the experience and I regret my negativity. If it's any consolation, this is the measured and mild version of my disappointment.

Review: The Secret Mistress by Mary Balogh

2011-08-10T15:26:00.000-04:00

I don't even know what to do here. Be careful what you wish for?

The story of Lady Angeline Dudley has been one Balogh fans were eager for. Unfortunately, it fails to engage. This is the first Mary Balogh title I haven't read cover to cover in a single sitting. This is a stay-up-to-five-am author for me and yet I failed to finish The Secret Mistress. After two attempts I am setting it aside on page 130. Mary Balogh's books are often deeply rewarding for a patient reader, with unexpected twists coming from the smallest of moments. Unfortunately, I never emotionally engaged with bright fragile butterfly Angeline or her stiffly proper flame, Edward. I am sure those small moments were coming, but I felt I was slogging instead of running toward them.

When we meet Angeline she's an absolute teenager. Impulsive, giddy and wild, she is finally going to meet her adored brothers after years at school. I have no idea (nor will the reader) why Angeline so adores her brothers unless it is the love of the abandoned child for the deadbeat parent. Her brothers haven't bothered with her in years, sending her back to school after she is orphaned and taking their holidays elsewhere. Angeline worships them, yet knows she wants to marry someone completely unlike them. Meeting both Edward and one of her brother's friends in the public room of an inn, she decides on the spot that only Edward will do. Love at first sight. First eligible man she's ever seen. It's almost painful, watching this neglected girl throw herself at a dream of a man. She, who is not valued, is going to woo this man. I want to stop her, not cheer for her.

Edward is all about not being his brother and doing right by the family and blah blah blah. He whines about wanting to marry his girlfriend, but also checks out Angeline from the corner of his eye. This isn't a case of her incandescent joy illuminating hidden corners of his life - this is him viewing her with some distaste. You don't want him to have her, he doesn't deserve to have someone like her handed to him. While the conversation is as delightful as any Balogh has written, there is a fundamental flaw in the couple the reader cannot overcome. Even knowing (based on later books) that Edward will value Angeline, will see her worth, you can't support events as they unfold. Making matters even more complex, Angeline is perfectly happy flirting with her brother's friend after he realizes his public room antics were inappropriate. Angeline doesn't care that he would still treat her that way if not for the discovery of her social status, she sees these predatory men as harmless and entertaining. She is so painfully young.

It's possible, probably even likely, that Balogh resolves most (or all) of these issues by the close of The Secret Mistress but I couldn't spend any more time watching Angeline beg people to want her. I couldn't tolerate Edward's displeasure at having to assume the responsibility he appears to have wanted, or his treatment of both the women in his life. I think I would have adored The Secret Mistress if Angeline had stood up at her second meeting of Edward and brushed him off like the mistake he appears to be at that point. Instead her girlish infatuation becomes determination, and my concern for her surpassed my enjoyment.

Review: Silk Is For Seduction by Loretta Chase

2011-08-03T00:22:00.001-04:00

Pity Loretta Chase.

At a certain point every successful author hits the invisible wall where no book can ever measure up to the book the reader thinks the author should have written. Either it's too this or it's not enough that. If you've really made it, they will claim that you phoned it in while sipping Mai Tai's on The Cartland or hired someone to write for you while you ate bonbons with Other Famous Writers and giggled about the ease with which one can dupe the book buying public.

So she can't win.

Loretta Chase could be forgiven for giving up or phoning it in considering nothing she writes is ever again going to surprise us with it's brilliance. With Silk Is For Seduction she's done neither. Chase has started a new series with an absolute joy of a heroine. Single mother, successful business woman, frantic older sister keeping too many balls in the air - Noirot is wonderful. I loved her clear eyed cynicism, her unapologetic ambition, her realistic parental fatigue and her willingness to say "Screw it" occasionally and embrace life. When we meet her, she's chasing a Duke. (Because there is always a Duke, isn't there?) Choosing the incredibly underused time between George IV and Victoria (Is this the first King William IV romance? I think it might be. I can't recall another.) Chase sets Noirot after the Duke intent on capturing his future wife's patronage. Not him.

The Duke isn't really there for me. When I think about him he's kind of great, but on the page he was The Guy Noirot Is Talking To. But hey, he's a Duke and apparently the only one around. He's into her being a working woman, he never degrades her for it. Over the course of the book he grows up a fair amount, he's good with kids, he knows how to apologize and to grovel if he needs to, but he's still The Duke to me. I was bracing myself for the moment where he asks her to give up her independence for love, but it never comes. He actually respects her. (I know!) So that's a win.

What keeps me from being over the moon about Silk for Seduction is a bit of a drag in the middle and a slice of the Master Race. When you start the book you know Noirot has the proper degree of inbreeding for acceptance among the nobility, if not the proper amount of cash. The Duke has an annual income I calculated to be about 83 million bucks a year. (I dunno, you do that math, it's complicated due to fluctuations in buying power and stuff like that, but he has an income of 100K in 1830-whatever.) You'd think, with 83 million bucks a year, that he could just buy some friends if they don't like her. I guess not, because there are several mentions of Noirot having the right ancestry. It's not that she looks great (she does) speaks well (you know it) or has flawless manners (give that a check mark) she's one of the servants betters. His staff is all, oh, we can totally tell. She is the Princess to our Peas. That one, she's Nobility By Birth and all.

Look, I am not unfamiliar with the inbred classes. They are as varied as the rest of us. Take away their cell phones, dump them on Survivor, and you'd have a hard time basing personal worth on their DNA. I do not deny the class system or the realities of Ducal Mating, but c'mon. Even the wage slaves have to claim roses fall from her lips when she speaks? She can't just be a hard working single mom without the genetic stock showing through? It sort of does Noirot a disservice. She can't simply be a kick ass woman, she has to be a woman who is kick ass through the power of Eugenics. I'd rather she had one of those pyramids made out of drinking straws people hung over waterbeds in the 1970's. The science is roughly equivalent. (I had a fun fact for you as a reward for making it through that rant, but I think we'll just stop with Pyramid Power. That's fun enough.)

Review: DRM vs Piracy

2011-08-02T14:28:00.007-04:00

They say it's collapsing, a photo by meoskop on Flickr.

In many ways publishing has refused to learn the lessons of the recording industry. DRM is being used to combat piracy, while we all know DRM does nothing to combat piracy and even encourages it. Which is why we're talking about music today. I love music more than books. If I had to choose between losing the publishing industry or the music industry, publishing would have to go. I seek out b-sides, live tracks, Edison cylinders, field recordings, talent shows. I love music. Books I just like. I used to read a few books a day, now I read at least one. Music I might not listen to for weeks, then gorge on for days. It doesn't make logical sense, but there it is. I tell you all of this so you will understand that when I say I have over 30,000 legally purchased tracks I am not kidding. I'm going to Lollapalooza this weekend, so I will probably come back with a dozen or so additional albums. I buy music. I buy books. I pay for things all the time.

When mp3s went legal they decided to combat piracy by putting DRM on everything. I have a few hundred DRM laden tracks in my iTunes that I never bothered to strip. This week I set up Amazon Cloud and Spotify to do a comparison of the services. Both offer unlimited music storage, one offers new music discovery, one offers a much lower fee. I can't upload those DRM laden tracks to Amazon or Spotify. I'm going all caps here to make a point. IF I HAD STOLEN MY MUSIC I WOULD BE ABLE TO UPLOAD IT. Although the interface to upload is criminally slow, Amazon will let me listen to anything via their cloud player that I can listen to on my iThings, unless it has DRM. If I stole the music, I could load it. Because I legally paid for it, I cannot. Spotify goes one better - it loads the tracks then highlights them to tell you that you can't play them.

One more time, for the cheap seats. With DRM, paying for a product is actively discouraged. Right now, Publishing is relearning that lesson. I can buy a book to use only on Adobe, to use only on Kindle, to use only for myself for as long as I can remember my passwords and get my computer permissions to agree, but I cannot pay more for an ebook than a paperback and expect to be able to freely use that book in the future unless I remove the DRM. Or, I could just steal everything. Maybe it's not Music and Publishing that are failing to learn these lessons, maybe it's me. Perhaps I shouldn't be buying things. I can't help it, I raised myself not to steal. So instead of enjoying this afternoon and finding new things to buy I will be removing DRM from my music tracks so I can enjoy my purchased music the same way the criminals do. No resentment going to be built there, no sir.

Anyway, back to Amazon Cloud vs Spotify. Spotify is a thousand times faster but wants a minimum of $10 a month to be mobile, which makes sense as they also offer what is in effect a portable listening station. Frustratingly, tracks I would like to purchase frequently come up as "the artist has chosen to make this track unavailable in your country" so it cannot be previewed or purchased, unless it is stolen and uploaded. Amazon is basically free, giving me unlimited storage for music and 20GB of space for a buck. we will see what they want to charge next year. The downside of Amazon is that they don't offer full previews of other albums or the sort of radio on demand thing Spotify has got going on. I'll need to use both for awhile and see what I prefer. ~~iCloud has priced itself ridiculously out of my market. It would cost hundreds of dollars a year just to store what I already own. There's no reason for me to even explore iCloud as a music option.~~ (Update note, iCloud will offer a plan that allows unlimited music storage for free. We will see what happens.)

Whatever my iLibrary looks like in a few years time I don't want it to be full of books I paid 30 - 40% more for only to find myself unable to read. When DRM started I was anti piracy all the time. I had no understanding or compassion. Having lived through DRM in music and DRM in books I find myself having less patience with both industries. I share their goals of capturing revenue for artists and those who package art, but I cannot support their delusions.

Review: The Ideal Man by Julie Garwood

2011-08-01T01:00:00.000-04:00

Garwood's back.

(I don't know if you're going to be sorry or not. That's on you.)

I don't mean back like, "Julie Garwood has a new novel out." I mean back like "Oh wait, I really like Julie Garwood." Sometimes a favorite author hits a patch of books so not to my taste that I open them with a little sigh of resignation. It's like a friendship you can't quite end because the good times were so good and the bad times aren't that bad but the lunch date isn't something you're excited about. This isn't that book. This is the book that reminds you how much fun you can have together.

The Ideal Man is refreshing for what it isn't - there's no attempt here to reach outside of what Garwood does to reach a new audience. Julie Garwood is best at family relationships, character quirks, and books so ready to be Hallmark Hall of Fame films that they should come with a greeting card. Her books are a bowl of soup and a blankie on a miserable day. I read The Ideal Man after an intense surgery and it absolutely soothed me.

Possibly coincidence, possibly because the heroine of Sizzle was an absolute idiot, The Ideal Man features trauma surgeon Elle Sullivan as a child prodigy once driven from her home by an obsessed classmate. (You might scoff, but I jumped off the prodigy track and those kids are twisted.) Awesomely, that obsessed classmate has almost nothing at all to do with why Elle ends up needing protection from FBI Agent Max Daniels. Elle has a wonderfully self centered sister driven to say things like "Why can't you stop ruining my parties with people trying to kill you?" Every sibling of a romantic suspense heroine should be as free to express her emotions!

Max is actually protecting Elle because she witnessed a shooting and saved a life without even getting blood in her hair. Elle rings true both as an exhausted trauma surgeon and a distanced family member. Her parents work as frustrated working folks thrust outside their comfort zone by life's events. Her siblings are a bit trickier - but hey - I'd have problems if my parties kept bombing too. Max works both as an agent slightly outside his comfort zone and a man for whom family is foremost. Together they tell a smoothly entertaining tale for a late night read or a sunny snooze.