Review: Wicked All Day by Liz Carlyle

Finally!

I knew if I excavated the TBR Pile Of 2009 that eventually my patience would be rewarded. Whew. I was starting to fear I'd entered some odd black hole of genre quality, but Liz Carlyle saved me. Remember when I was expressing my distaste of the hermetically sealed heroine? Zoe Armstrong is anything but a shining example of rectitude. I'm kind of going to gush, so let's get the negative out of the way early. Why does a heroine with sexual agency so often have the uncaring whore for a mother? You don't need Mommy Issues to get your freak on. (Not that Zoe is that freaky, except for the whole brothers thing.)

Alright, let's just get into it. Zoe's mom was a paid sex worker, I mean mistress, of her father. She wasn't even English! (Eye roll for hot blooded as veiled racism / race diversity allusions.) She happily traded infant Zoe for a roll of banknotes and went on with her life. (I feel another essay coming on here - it would detail the glorification and victimization of women in the sex trade by genre convention. Hey, why don't you go read Girls Like Us by Rachel Lloyd instead? Save us both.) So Zoe is parked with some less than interested child care workers and the result is that even after the application of a caring step mother Zoe is a woman who has decided to live down to the expectations of others. You want sexy? You want scandal? You want self destruction? Zoe's got it.

On the other side of the coin is Stuart, known as Mercer since he attained his title as a boy. A distant cousin, Mercer has stood outside the circle of Zoe's childhood bond with his brother Robin. First too old to be interested, then old enough to know better,  Mercer has long viewed Zoe as the addiction he just can't afford. Often stepping in to keep her from destroying herself, Mercer keeps her on the edge of ruin until the night he finds her half dressed and straddling his brother at a party. Zoe and Robin have already realized they don't actually want to have angry sex, but it's too late. Marriage surely follows such an indiscretion. A seasoned genre reader cynically expects this to be the point at which Mercer steps up to offer himself as the sacrificial spouse, but Carlyle isn't letting anyone off that easily.

Robin and Zoe retire to their own private hell as the cost of their self destructive impulse plays out in both their lives. Mercer can only stand by and watch them both fall apart. Despite their deep love they do not make a healthy pair. It's that exploration of a bad romance that makes Wicked All Day so refreshing. Zoe does not castigate herself for stepping outside of her engagement with Robin for a few moments with Mercer because she abhors her sexuality, she castigates herself for her disloyalty. Mercer does not express anger at Zoe for her physical impulses, he is angry at her lack of foresight and her unerring ability to diminish herself through her romantic partners. Robin is not evil, or cunning, he's just wrong for Zoe and she for him. It was refreshing to read about reality based conflict in a romance about personal growth where there are neither saints nor sinners, just people finding their way. (Ok, I take it back. There is a saint and a sinner both in Wicked All Day, but neither of them are members of the primary triangle.)

I've got another Carlyle in my TBR and one in my ARC stash. We might be on a roll here. Unfortunately, Wicked All Day is Agency. You can order the e-book for $8 USD or a paper copy for $3 shipped. (I can't help publishers that don't want my help. Would that be Publishers Anonymous or Agency Anonymous? It is to ponder.)

Review: The Earl Claims His Wife by Cathy Maxwell

This recovery is teaching me that books in my TBR pile are generally there because they suck.

I'd hate for someone to judge all of Cathy Maxwell's books on The Earl Claims His Wife. As Agency Pricing continues being the gift that just won't stop giving (much like VD) there is a possibility that you're considering dropping 8 hard earned USD's on this clunker. (If I can save just one of you, etc.) I didn't even like the cover. Somehow she has ripped her dress around mid thigh, lost all her underthings and shoved her naked body out of the hole. He's not faring much better. That's someone else's boot on the side there, or our hero has extra articulation in his thigh. (Add the super painful Barbie arch of her foot and this seems like a bad idea all around.)

But back to the contents. Brian, the Earl in question, is a complete Tool. Capital T, walking poster child for narcissistic personality disorder. Let's take him first. Brian is in love with Jess, some chick from his childhood days, so he makes her his mistress. He's a third son, and his dad tells him he has to get married anyway so he's all like, whatever, you pick, I don't care. He takes his blushing young virginal bride home, bangs her quick to get it over with (while thinking of Jess) then tells her his heart belongs to another and he is off to be with his true love. No really, like that. Surprised he didn't wipe himself on her leg. Off he goes to be with the woman that holds his heart, leaving his new wife to deal with his disapproving and dominating parents. Then he's off to war, where he doesn't write his wife and upon his return just heads straight to be with Jess again. All this happens before we meet him. When we actually do meet Brian, he's bellowing at his wife for having fled this torture chamber of a life and demanding she come home. She balks, he decides to kill someone to narrow her options. He's a prize, isn't he?

I wish I liked Gillian better.  Not only does she have dreadful taste in men, she's lacking in backbone. She's left Brian (or left his parents actually) and found love (or desire) with a broke as hell Spanish baron working on the estate. Although she is like so totally sure she loves Andres, she hasn't made any moves on him. She mostly watches him stroke horses and sighs while declaring that any minute now, any minute at all, maybe even right this second she's going to get a divorce and be with him. Andres is totally down with that plan. Which makes her think maybe it's a bad plan because when he says he wants her it seems like he's being foolish. (COSIGNED) Anyway, there Brian is doing the bellowing thing in the driveway and dueling in the courtyard with Andres when it occurs to Gillian that someone might die and her options won't be any better. She strikes a deal with Brian that she will go with him in exchange for her freedom in 30 days after she establishes him politically. (Which the divorce would then.... oh she's not the brightest girl.)

Less than a day later, Gillian is riding Brian like he's a naughty pony and forgiving him all. Jess is dead, you say? Well then! Andres is broke so let's get it on. Of course, Jess isn't dead and Brian hasn't come seeking Gillian for love but because he has a household in shambles and a dying baby. Well, it's Jess's dying baby, but since his brothers have died (making him the heir y'all!) and the baby is his father's, then this baby is the Only Brother He Has Left. Gillian is upset and suddenly Andres is looking good again. Despite her post nookie renewal of vows, she wants her 30 day countdown back. Then she doesn't. Then she does. Then she doesn't. Gillian wants to love whichever man she isn't with.

Brian stomps his feet, holds his breath, and proves his independence from his controlling father. He does this by taking the post his father has arranged for him. (I know, Brian can't be helped). His feelings of betrayal from Jess are all tied up in his feelings of anger at his father for banging his mistress. Brian takes comfort in the thought that the Evil Innocent Scheming Victim Jess has ensnared his father who thinks he is So Clever but Really Is Not. (I think Brian is 12. Maybe.) Brian's mom doesn't matter because women don't matter in this book. This book is all about Needy Men Who Need Things. Don't believe me? Let's examine Jess.

Jess is stunningly beautiful and poor. Brian, the 3rd son, swears he loves her and is eternally devoted to her so she becomes his mistress. He moves in with her and sees to all her material needs. When he goes to war, she takes up with his creepy father. Does she do it because she feels betrayed by his marrying? No, she does it because she needs to monetize her youth. Really. She says so. Then she bears his father's son, despite never having a kid with Brian. (I see a problem with the succession looming. Also, where are Brian's older brother's wives? Did they not have kids?) Brian's dad is all, no kids, thanks, so Jess sends the baby to a warehouse where they put it in a closet and forget about it. (Not kidding.) Brian arrives in the Nick Of Time to take the baby and restore it to health where Jess comes to see it. Not because she wants her baby or has regrets, but because Brian's dad tells her to go rattle Gillian's cage. It doesn't make any sense to the guy's motivations, but it allows Gillian to cry a lot and jerk Andres around more. Why is Jess an Evil Whoring Bitch? Apparently she was born that way. Wouldn't any woman whore herself out to father and son then abandon her child? It's just, like, what they do. Bitches. Brian's dad is like, you're a victim of her awesome sexxing and Brian is like, no dad, YOU are and Jess is like, I can't help it if I need to get paid.

Eventually, for no apparent reason, Gillian and Brian loudly declare their love for each other without ruining his political career and set off with their bastard sibling son for the diplomatic post his father wanted him to take in the first place. Brian has successfully broken free of his father by moving where his father wanted, working where his father wanted, and banging who his father wanted. Happy Ending Indeed. (Or not.)